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catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #495 24 Oct 2012 at 12.48pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #491
thats a good un
tuftytowers
Posts: 674
tuftytowers
   Old Thread  #494 24 Oct 2012 at 9.09am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #493
Great-Blondini
Posts: 11860
Great-Blondini
MODERATOR
   Old Thread  #493 23 Oct 2012 at 10.25pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #492
text from dog
carpy09
Posts: 13985
carpy09
   Old Thread  #492 23 Oct 2012 at 9.15pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #491
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #491 23 Oct 2012 at 8.55pm  0  Login    Register
The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Mick, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Mick and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Mick snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Mick shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Bill's turn. He was a tanned, older biker, a man's man.. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Mick into bed, patted him on the arse, and kissed him good night on the lips. Mick sat up and watched me all night."
MrGrantski
Posts: 953
MrGrantski
   Old Thread  #490 22 Oct 2012 at 10.15pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #488
lol
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2213
Mr-Bean-Laden
   Old Thread  #489 22 Oct 2012 at 9.32pm  0  Login    Register
I just received a call from an Indian telemarketer.

So I handed the phone to my three year old son and told him that Santa Claus is on the phone. Their conversation has been going on for ages!
andy_carper001
Posts: 584
andy_carper001
   Old Thread  #488 22 Oct 2012 at 5.51pm  0  Login    Register
I've been going through some real money troubles. Realising this, my Gran gave me her pearl earrings. "They've been passed down through the generations," she said, "but needs must. "Great. Now I'm broke and I look super gay as well.
carpy09
Posts: 13985
carpy09
   Old Thread  #487 22 Oct 2012 at 5.29pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #486
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #486 22 Oct 2012 at 5.21pm  0  Login    Register
I was standing in a bar and this little chinese guy comes in the pub,stands next to me and starts drinking.
I said to him "do you know any of those martial arts things like kung fu karate or ju-jitsu? He says "no why the f--k you ask me dat? is it coz i chinese? No i said its because you're drinking my pint you little c--t.
ralph69
Posts: 10386
ralph69
   Old Thread  #485 19 Oct 2012 at 11.18pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #477
just spat cheese n crackers at me lap top
jimmyAd
Posts: 8986
jimmyAd
   Old Thread  #484 19 Oct 2012 at 8.36pm  0  Login    Register
Four words to dread hearing after sex....."howz about that then"
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #483 19 Oct 2012 at 5.46am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #482
Ditto
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2213
Mr-Bean-Laden
   Old Thread  #482 18 Oct 2012 at 9.15pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #474
Just read this one to my wife and she thinks it sums up our relationship - bless her lol
Great-Blondini
Posts: 11860
Great-Blondini
MODERATOR
   Old Thread  #481 18 Oct 2012 at 8.47pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #480
Picture edited slightly as the swear filter cannot.
but i am sure you get the drift

How many times have we been 'up there without one!'

My work is done here.

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