CarpForum - Fishing Forum
   [Log-In] or [Register]
Bulk Fish Pellets
Advertise to thousands of anglers a day!  Click HERE to see how
      Home            Search       Help / FAQs   Rules / Usage 
Who's Online Member List      Articles           Gallery           Weather     
  New Posts: 0
 New Posts  Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register]
carra
Posts: 883
carra
   Old Thread  #575 18 Nov 2012 at 8.47pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #572
ralph69
Posts: 10386
ralph69
   Old Thread  #574 17 Nov 2012 at 10.55pm  0  Login    Register
hes a big headed **** aint he
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2213
Mr-Bean-Laden
   Old Thread  #573 17 Nov 2012 at 5.22pm  0  Login    Register
The father of 17 kids goes to the doc's with a rash on his belly. "All right" says the Doc, "drop 'em and let's have a look." Having been confronted with the evidence the Doc exclaims "Yes, you've got a bad rash there, but my word, what brown balls you've got. They're truly remarkable!".

The patient is a bit embarrassed and says "Look Doc, what about the rash?"

"Oh that's easy," said the Doc, "Here's some cream to rub on. By the way, those brown balls are amazing, my I ask....."

"No," said the patient, "You can't. Now, is that all Doc?"

"Well, " said the Doctor, " You could stop the rash coming back with a bit better hygiene. Tell your wife you need clean underpants every day. And those really are the brownest balls I've ever seen!"

The guy goes home and tells his wife that the Doctor says he needs clean underpants every day.

"What?" she yells, "Clean underpants every day, and me with 17 kids to chase after! Seventeen kids to wash, feed, clothe, get to school, tidy after, and you want clean underpants every day? You must be bloody joking, I haven't even got time to wipe my arse!"

"Ah" he said, "And that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about..."
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #572 17 Nov 2012 at 10.05am  0  Login    Register
Cyril Smith accused of abusing kids throughout his career.well I'm sorry,but if you cant outrun that fat c..t you deserved f..king.
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #571 17 Nov 2012 at 10.02am  0  Login    Register
Seeing all those kids on children in need really makes me appreciate how lucky i am.Mine have all grown up and f..ked off.
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #570 17 Nov 2012 at 9.58am  0  Login    Register
My new girlfriend gives ma marks out of ten when we have sex.Last night for example i shoved it right up her a jacksy and she yelled "nine,nine!"
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #569 17 Nov 2012 at 9.53am  0  Login    Register
Getting old is a terrible thing.This morning i went upstairs then forgot why,so i went back down to try to jog my memory......... That's when i $hit myself.
MrGrantski
Posts: 953
MrGrantski
   Old Thread  #568 16 Nov 2012 at 8.25pm  0  Login    Register
Some men think that using a moisturiser after you've had a shave is a bit gay.

I don't, I just think it makes my legs lovely and soft.
noj
Posts: 11459
Social photographer...
   Old Thread  #567 15 Nov 2012 at 9.02pm  0  Login    Register
An oap is heading down the m1 to visit an old friend, suddenly he receives a phone call from his daughter.

"Dad be careful, I've just heard on the radio there's a nutter driving the wrong way down the m1"

"Not just the one love, there's bloody hundreds of the ****s!"
buzzbomb
Posts: 57
buzzbomb
   Old Thread  #566 15 Nov 2012 at 6.32pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #565
Latest football results: Real Madrid - 1 Surreal Madrid - fish
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #565 14 Nov 2012 at 9.20pm  0  Login    Register
"After stubbing his cigar in my eye because I wouldn't suck his cock, I hope that ******* Savile rots in hell."

P.Bear, BBC Studios, London.
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2213
Mr-Bean-Laden
   Old Thread  #564 14 Nov 2012 at 8.34pm  0  Login    Register
Just been to a bestiality orgy.

Every man and his dog was there.
carpy09
Posts: 13985
carpy09
   Old Thread  #563 14 Nov 2012 at 7.02pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #558
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #562 14 Nov 2012 at 6.48pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #560
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #561 14 Nov 2012 at 6.09pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #558
Page: 147.666666666667 of 186  
   Consent Preferences   Advertising disclosure  
  © Copyright 2002-2025  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk