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SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1617 28 Apr 2013 at 5.01pm  0  Login    Register
The wife and I were watching an old video of Emannuelle last night. Halfway through, she got up, winked, went off to the bedroom and came back a few moments later. She posed in the doorway wearing only black undies and suspenders, then purred "Don't I look just like Sylvia Kristel?"

"Mmmmmm," I replied, "you'd better get the vaseline, baby."

"No need," she smiled, "I'm already pretty excited...."

I said "it's to smear on my glasses."
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1616 28 Apr 2013 at 1.50pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1615
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1615 28 Apr 2013 at 1.17pm  0  Login    Register
Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a baby. The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely a Caucasian, WHITE baby girl.

"Congratulations!' says the nurse to the new parents. "Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the baby?" The puzzled father looks at his new baby girl and says,

"Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name her Sum Ting Wong.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1614 28 Apr 2013 at 11.35am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1613
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1613 28 Apr 2013 at 11.28am  0  Login    Register
A young man moved from his parents home into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox.
While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes, wearing a robe.
The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.
The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.
Now completely nude, she purred at him,
"What would you say is my best feature?" Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere, so how can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?!"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming, that was me..
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1612 28 Apr 2013 at 11.27am  0  Login    Register
My boss called me in the office today, to have a word.
"Would you like to explain your self," he demanded.
I thought for a second, and then said,

"My name's Dave, I've got red hair, a bit chubby; I'm a 33 year old virgin, and I regularly w@nk over that photo of your daughter on your desk, when you are out for dinner"
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1611 28 Apr 2013 at 11.22am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1607
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1610 28 Apr 2013 at 11.22am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1601
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1609 28 Apr 2013 at 7.21am  0  Login    Register
I had Audley Harrison in front until they rang the bell for the first round.
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1608 28 Apr 2013 at 7.15am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1607
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1607 27 Apr 2013 at 9.28pm  0  Login    Register
Lucky for Newcastle that Suarez wasn't playing, or it could have been ate.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1606 27 Apr 2013 at 9.26pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1605
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1605 27 Apr 2013 at 7.49pm  0  Login    Register
Liverpool appealing to the FA to see if they can get Suarez's ban extended.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1604 27 Apr 2013 at 11.20am  0  Login    Register
I came home from work early and found my wife in the bedroom laying on the bed stark naked with a labrador licking chocolate spread from her pussy.

I said, "What the hell is going on?"

She said, "I was feeling horny and I couldn't wait for you to get home."

I said, "But who is that sitting in the lounge downstairs with dark glasses and a white stick?"
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1603 26 Apr 2013 at 7.19pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1602
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