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In reply to Post #1464
 
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In reply to Post #1464
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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I stopped my car in a lay-by last night and had sex with a complete stranger.
As I sat there with one hand on the steering wheel, she suddenly climbed on top of me and said, "The deal is you must pull out just before ejaculating."
I agreed and a few minutes later, as I got the urge to shoot my load, I quickly pulled out.
Knocking some poor c.... off his motorbike.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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I went up to a fit girl at a swingers party and asked if she wanted some fun.
"You're new to this aren't you" she smiled.
"What makes you think that?" I said.
"Because you're dressed as a gorilla.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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A man stubbed his toe so badly he decided to go to the doctor.
When he arrived at the office, the nurse directed him to remove his clothes and wait in the next room.
"I just hurt my toe," complained the man. "Why do I need to take off my clothes?"
"Everyone who sees the doctor has to undress," explained the nurse politely. "It's our policy."
"Well, I think it's a stupid policy! Making me undress just to look at my toe! Geeez!"
From the next room another man's voice piped up. . . "That's fcuk all I just came here to fix the telephone!"
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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A furious pounding in a hotel room late at night awakened a number of guests.
The hotel manager was called, and he let himself into the room.
Inside, he found an elderly man cursing and banging away on the wall with both fists.
"Stop that!" the manager ordered. "You're disturbing the whole hotel."
"Damn the hotel!" the eldery man spat. "It's the first hard on I've had in years, and both my hands are asleep.
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My mate asked what a dilemma was?
So i said,"imagine you're naked and in a big bed.
A beautiful woman on one side and a gay man on the other.
"Who you gonna turn your back on?"
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I've just broken the world record for holding my breath under water.An incredible 8 Minutes,42 Seconds!
It all started when a girl at the swimming pool shouted "That,s him over there Daddy".
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In reply to Post #1456
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In reply to Post #1459
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Two businessmen in the centre of Lymington
were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop...
As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked,
"What are you selling here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the old dear said',,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“Must be doing well... Only the two of you left."
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Black beauty, now there's a dark horse!!!!!
Sad news I'm afraid, a man has recently died at a chocolate factory after a pile of boxes fell on to him.
He tried in vain to save himself, and when he called for help and shouted" the Milky Bars are on me"................. Everyone just cheered
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In reply to Post #1456
carol vorderman recently fell down the stairs i believe-word has it she hit 2 from the top and 3 from the bottom
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I was at the swimming baths yesterday and had a sneaky piss in the deep end. The life guard noticed and blew his whistle so ****ing loud I nearly fell in...
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In reply to Post #1454
more like a couple of bucks 
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