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catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1817 7 Jun 2013 at 6.42am  0  Login    Register
3 manchester utd fans walk into a bar..A glory hunter,a cockney and a ****.... that was just the first one.
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1816 7 Jun 2013 at 6.40am  0  Login    Register
my son said,"Dad,when was the first time you fell in love?"I said, "I was 18.I walked into a bar and spotted the most gorgeous blonde I'd ever seen.Cupid fired his arrow the second i saw her." He said, "so what happened?" I said "nothing.Unfortunately the arrow missed and hit your ******* mother."
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1815 7 Jun 2013 at 6.33am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1812
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1814 7 Jun 2013 at 6.32am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1809
ballbuster
Posts: 2021
ballbuster
   Old Thread  #1813 6 Jun 2013 at 11.34pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1812
Damn straight lol
Buzz_Bullen
Posts: 816
Buzz_Bullen
   Old Thread  #1812 6 Jun 2013 at 10.30pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1811
Hey! Cmon!! Not the place for educational & cultural insights!! Let's get back to socks full of cum, and w@nking over distressed old ladies!!
buzzbomb
Posts: 57
buzzbomb
   Old Thread  #1811 5 Jun 2013 at 11.26pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1800
Re: Martin's post 'I have a Scottish friend';. In Canada, almost the entire country was at one time owned by the Hudson's Bay Company, who brought bond servants and peasants from the Orkneys to work in it's Northern Stores. In 1972, 300 years after they started, when I worked up there they were still doing it, (clerks had to work off their plane fare and expenses). Relevance?, there are an incredible number of Native Canadians named Harper, Flett, Mackay, etc. There may be more Native Canadians named John Harper than Scots. Bannock is the staple bread of most First Nations in Canada as well, and unless I'm wrong a good bit of the States. Sorry no joke, next time!
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1810 5 Jun 2013 at 10.52pm  0  Login    Register
Roberto Martinez has promised to bring Champions League football to Goodison Park.

He aims to have Sky Sports installed by September.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1809 5 Jun 2013 at 2.38pm  0  Login    Register
Heard my neighbour shagging for what seemed like ages last night, moaning, groaning and banging the headboard off the wall.

Turns out her elderly mother had fallen over cracked her head and was knocking on the wall with her stick for help.

I feel a bit guilty about the w@nk now.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1808 4 Jun 2013 at 11.38pm  0  Login    Register
The big-titted blonde from next door lent over the garden fence earlier dressed in just a see-through negligee, and asked if I could pound her pussy.

I phoned my mate Dave from the animal shelter, and he popped round.

He was there for three hours, and left with a big smile on his face, but no cat.

Strange.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1807 4 Jun 2013 at 7.58pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1806
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1806 4 Jun 2013 at 7.50pm  0  Login    Register
So Tulisa has been arrested for dealing Class A drugs...

I guess we won't be seeing 'Share a Coke with Tulisa' on bottles anytime soon.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1805 3 Jun 2013 at 8.09pm  0  Login    Register
Wearing crocs is like being sucked off by a man.

It feels great but when you look down you can see it is just wrong.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1804 3 Jun 2013 at 8.04pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1803
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2213
Mr-Bean-Laden
   Old Thread  #1803 3 Jun 2013 at 6.29pm  0  Login    Register
Brazil's new stadium looks good, I expected the pitch to just be a strip of turf on the edge of the box.
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