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DirkDiggler
Posts: 2502
DirkDiggler
   Old Thread  #2338 31 Oct 2015 at 9.13am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1
So Jurgen Klopp has finally got his first win at Liverpool.
Apparently it was due to a motivational text from his older brother clippity.
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2337 22 Oct 2015 at 4.44pm  0  Login    Register
Screen Shot 2015-10-22 at 15.58.51 copy
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2336 30 Sept 2015 at 9.37pm  0  Login    Register
A woman knocked at our door and said she was
collecting for the new swimming pool so I gave her a bucket of water.
ralph69
Posts: 10386
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2335 24 Sept 2015 at 8.17pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2334
Like it
stymie
Posts: 807
stymie
   Old Thread  #2334 24 Sept 2015 at 8.11pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2333
Reminds me of
"Dad, there's a bloke at the door with a bald head"
"Tell him to piss off I've got one"
ralph69
Posts: 10386
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2333 24 Sept 2015 at 1.37pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2332
My daughter said to me earlier "dad , there's someone knocking at the door with a beard ".
I said " well no wonder I couldn't bloody hear it then " .
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2332 23 Sept 2015 at 6.19pm  0  Login    Register
Teacher......who can tell me what chickens give you?
Sarah.........meat miss.
teacher......correct, now can you tell me what pigs give you?
Jane...........bacon miss
teacher.......that's right, who can tell me what fat cow gives you?
Billie...........homework
stymie
Posts: 807
stymie
   Old Thread  #2331 21 Sept 2015 at 8.48pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2330
Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.
ralph69
Posts: 10386
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2330 20 Sept 2015 at 9.31pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2329
I love f5, it's so refreshing
ralph69
Posts: 10386
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2329 11 Sept 2015 at 6.18am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2328
stymie
Posts: 807
stymie
   Old Thread  #2328 10 Sept 2015 at 8.34pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2327
Came home hammered the other night and was stumbling around at the bottom of the stairs making a right racket. "What the hell is going on?" Shouts the wife from the bedroom. "I'm trying to get a barrel of beer up the stairs" I replied. "Leave it downstairs you dozy ****" She says."I cant" Says I."I've drunk it"
ralph69
Posts: 10386
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2327 9 Sept 2015 at 8.42pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2326
Even more valuable lesson learned today.......
Don't keep ralgex and anusol next to each other
ralph69
Posts: 10386
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2326 8 Sept 2015 at 9.35pm  0  Login    Register
Valuable lesson learned this morning ,"...........
Don't keep anusol and Colgate on the same shelf
BrownSBran
Posts: 2
   Old Thread  #2325 28 Aug 2015 at 1.35am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2310
Lol such long topic
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2324 23 Aug 2015 at 12.41pm  0  Login    Register
After too many visits to the "Pleasure Parlour"
(the house of horizontal refreshment)
JimmyAd notices green lumps
On his wedding tackle. So off he goes to the doctor.

The doctor explains "You know how wrestlers and rugby
players get cauliflower ears?"

"Yes" says Jim, nodding seriously.

"Well" says the doctor, "You've got Brothel Sprouts."
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