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Joke Thread
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luckyjim

Posts: 3622

#2739 11 Aug 2022 at 11.23pm

In reply to Post #2738

scozza

Posts: 17602

#2738 11 Aug 2022 at 9.09pm

In reply to Post #2737

True story, once went into Pulse and Cocktails, some weird goings on in the mega store

After laughing at all the outfits, rubber fists, arms and what have you , the one that made me chuckle the most was a brown arse with an hole and two handles on the side, bit like a dinner tray, WTF

Imagine the wife catching you with that under the bed, all of a sudden the dildo looks like a teaspoon

luckyjim

Posts: 3622

#2737 11 Aug 2022 at 6.59pm

In reply to Post #2736
Heres 1 for ya Scozza, you can relate to this.

When a girl buys a Vibrator, it's cool, but when a guy buys that FcukMaster 5000 Pro Latex blow up doll, with the 6 spend pulsating self lubricating pussy with the non-drip collection nut tray with optional built in realistic orgasm 7.1 surround sound system, he's a perv, Just don't make sense to me.

scozza

Posts: 17602

#2736 10 Aug 2022 at 10.27am

In reply to Post #2735

You be careful Jim having a sense of humour these days

luckyjim

Posts: 3622

#2735 9 Aug 2022 at 11.09pm

In reply to Post #2733
Crackers, yeah, thats me, hope your keeping well

luckyjim

Posts: 3622

#2734 9 Aug 2022 at 11.06pm

In reply to Post #2733
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, mounted the pavement wiped out 2 fences and a shed, and stopped inches away from a lady with a baby buggy. For a second everything went quiet, then the passenger said,
fcuk me your touchy I only tapped you on the shoulder to ask you something,
The driver said today is my first day as a cabbie I've been driving a hearse for the last 12 years.

scozza

Posts: 17602

#2733 30 Jul 2022 at 7.32pm

In reply to Post #2732
Crackers Jim

luckyjim

Posts: 3622

#2732 30 Jul 2022 at 1.10pm

Dear Marge
Yesterday my boyfriend said anal sex could relieve
constipation, I wasn't sure about that but after a long
chat I agreed to give it a go, so, we got down to it, he
shoved his spam ram into the chocolate box and
banged away for what felt like eternity, then he shot
his muck and pulled out, glad that was over, he phoned
me this morning to say it didn't work and he wants to
do it again, what should I do.

Sue Brown, West Yorkshire.

luckyjim

Posts: 3622

#2731 27 Jul 2022 at 9.00pm

The village doctor was about to retire and
a much younger doc came to take over, old
doc said come with me on my rounds and
meet some of the patients, in the 1st cottage
the woman complained about stomach pains,
old doc said try to eat less fruit then they left,
young doc said "you didn't examine her" how
did you reach that conclusion, old doc said
when I dropped my pen I saw a lot of banana
skins in the bin, in the next cottage the woman
said she was tired all the time, the young doc said
take it easy, do less for the church, when they
got out side old doc said I know that lady very
well and she is a church warden, but how did
you reach your decision, young doc said when
I dropped my pen I saw the vicar under the bed.

Golden-Paws

Posts: 240

#2730 20 May 2022 at 8.01am

Two Jewish friends, Cohen and Zachary were chatting and suddenly Cohen blurted out, " I've got something important to tell you, I've just won the lottery and scooped 10 million pounds." "That's wonderful news", said Zach but being a more practical man said, "Yes but what about the begging letters?" Cohen though about it for a moment and replied "Oh yes, I'll still keep on sending those!"

Clobersauraus

Posts: 753

#2729 19 May 2022 at 4.05pm

I went to a seminar recently, and the speaker asked me to name something I was not very good with starting with the letter N.

Spelling I replied

luckyjim

Posts: 3622

#2728 18 May 2022 at 9.14pm

In reply to Post #2727
better safe than sorry, don't want to get "Banged" up, if you know what I mean.

scozza

Posts: 17602

#2727 18 May 2022 at 9.12pm

In reply to Post #2726
I saw the funny side, I guess others wouldn�t

luckyjim

Posts: 3622

#2726 18 May 2022 at 9.06pm

In reply to Post #2724
not in good taste.
I will remove.

scozza

Posts: 17602

#2725 18 May 2022 at 8.46pm

In reply to Post #2723

Crackers Jim, nice to see somebody with a sense of humour, jokes seem to be a thing of the past sadly


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