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luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2378 3 Jan 2016 at 12.47pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2377


Wife says to husband what would you say if you caught me in bed with your best friend
I'd call you a lesbian

no no what if it was a mas, what would you do I'd kick his guide dog
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #2377 1 Jan 2016 at 9.30pm  0  Login    Register
2 New Years Resolutions:

- Wash hands after taking a sh1t at work.

- Improve on my Big Mac preparation time.

ralph69
Posts: 10387
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2376 1 Jan 2016 at 6.38pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2375
Bloke says to his missus , why don't you tell me when you've had an orgasm?
She says , because I don't like ringing you at work
ralph69
Posts: 10387
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2375 31 Dec 2015 at 10.16pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2374
Why did Adele cross the road,

To say hello from the other side
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2374 29 Dec 2015 at 6.14pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2373
stick that on the footy thread and get lashed
ralph69
Posts: 10387
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2373 28 Dec 2015 at 6.32pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2372
Dennis law was asked yesterday if his team would beat this current man Utd side, yeah , 1-0 was
His reply.
When he was asked why would it only be 1-0 , his reply was , because we're all in our 70's now
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2372 26 Dec 2015 at 11.05pm  0  Login    Register
What do transvesdites do at Christmas?
A> eat,drink,and be Mary
ralph69
Posts: 10387
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2371 26 Dec 2015 at 0.06am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2369
My cracker joke . My phone only works in church , it's pray as you go
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2370 25 Dec 2015 at 5.49pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2369
CRACKERS!!!!!! CRACKERS!!!!!! who's cracker's
jimmyAd
Posts: 8986
jimmyAd
   Old Thread  #2369 24 Dec 2015 at 6.05am  0  Login    Register
i suppose you lot will be getting some new material for here now the cracker season is upon us
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2368 23 Dec 2015 at 10.20pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2366
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #2367 23 Dec 2015 at 8.49pm  0  Login    Register
Just bought some sage & onion flavoured condoms. Should come in handy if I find a plump bird that wants stuffing...
ralph69
Posts: 10387
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2366 23 Dec 2015 at 6.17pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1
The night before Christmas
Throughout the house
We were all ****ed
Even the mouse
Dad at the brothel
Mum with uncle frank
I settled down
For a nice slow w&nk
Outside the house
I heard a right clatter
I let go of my cock
To see what was the matter
Out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew right away
It was old st Nick
He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
The big fat ****er
I think he fell
He filled all our stockings
With sweets and beer
And a big rubber cock
For my brother the queer
He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
The big fat ****
Blew the house apart
He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight
Shouting I'll be back next year
Have a hell of a night

Merry xmas fellow jesters
andywilcock
Posts: 1921
andywilcock
   Old Thread  #2365 20 Dec 2015 at 7.47pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2362
shed
Posts: 1394
shed
   Old Thread  #2364 20 Dec 2015 at 7.13pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2360
Spammer
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