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luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2499 1 Nov 2016 at 11.50am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2498
Micketionath
Posts: 6
   Old Thread  #2498 31 Oct 2016 at 7.12am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1
hi all. here's my joke of the day:

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me.

ralph69
Posts: 10387
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2497 28 Oct 2016 at 9.28pm  0  Login    Register
My missus told me she was leaving me because I'm immature and we should set a date so we can talk about the state of our marriage .
She can **** off if she thinks I'm doing that in the middle of the conker season .
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2496 25 Oct 2016 at 9.02pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2495
ralph69
Posts: 10387
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2495 25 Oct 2016 at 7.30pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2494
And yours
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2494 25 Oct 2016 at 7.04pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2493
so doe's yours
ralph69
Posts: 10387
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2493 25 Oct 2016 at 10.35am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2490
Yes she does
Warnisses2803
Posts: 9
Warnisses2803
   Old Thread  #2492 25 Oct 2016 at 9.42am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2478
Can't stop laughing, luckyjim
scozza
Posts: 17625
   Old Thread  #2491 5 Oct 2016 at 8.22pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2489
PMSL

I had a wife, once lol
Tinhead
Posts: 16691
Tinhead
   Old Thread  #2490 5 Oct 2016 at 8.20pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2489


Sounds like my wife but she doesn't take it up the arse and she's useless with the kids
ralph69
Posts: 10387
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2489 5 Oct 2016 at 8.14pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2488
The old bill knocked my door last night holding a picture of my wife, they said " excuse me sir , is this you're wife" , l said "yes" . He replied " I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus " . I said "I know , but she takes it up the arse and she's good with the kids .
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2488 15 Sept 2016 at 9.15pm  0  Login    Register
went to a show the other night, there was a hypnotist, boy he was good, swinging his pocket watch left to right and back again he had 7 guys under his spell in no time, as he turned to the audience he stumbled and dropped the watch, it broke into a thousand pieces, as he bent down to pick up the bits he said f*** me and what I saw in the next 5 minutes will haunt me for the rest of my life.
luckyjim
Posts: 3622
luckyjim
   Old Thread  #2487 5 Sept 2016 at 11.06am  0  Login    Register
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home, feeling well randy and full of confidence he leans his hand on the wall and says "darling will you give me a blowjob"
"no my parents will see us"
"oh come on who's gonna see us at this hour"
"no, can you imagine if we get caught"
"oh come on they're all asleep"
"no its just too risky"
"please please I love you so much"
"I love you too but I just can't "
"I beg you"
then the landing light goes on and the girls sister comes down the stairs, in a sleepy voice says "dad says give him a blowjob, or I can do it, or if need be he'll do it but for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom"
mal
Posts: 8986
mal
   Old Thread  #2486 31 Aug 2016 at 10.58pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #2485
ralph69
Posts: 10387
ralph69
   Old Thread  #2485 31 Aug 2016 at 4.07pm  0  Login    Register
Jack Wiltshire has fallen out of the transfer window and will be out for four months
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