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In reply to Post #1 hi all. here's my joke of the day:
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me.
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My missus told me she was leaving me because I'm immature and we should set a date so we can talk about the state of our marriage .
She can **** off if she thinks I'm doing that in the middle of the conker season .
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In reply to Post #2494 And yours
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In reply to Post #2493 so doe's yours
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In reply to Post #2490 Yes she does
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In reply to Post #2478 Can't stop laughing, luckyjim
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In reply to Post #2489 PMSL
I had a wife, once lol
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In reply to Post #2489
Sounds like my wife but she doesn't take it up the arse and she's useless with the kids
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In reply to Post #2488 The old bill knocked my door last night holding a picture of my wife, they said " excuse me sir , is this you're wife" , l said "yes" . He replied " I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus " . I said "I know , but she takes it up the arse and she's good with the kids .
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went to a show the other night, there was a hypnotist, boy he was good, swinging his pocket watch left to right and back again he had 7 guys under his spell in no time, as he turned to the audience he stumbled and dropped the watch, it broke into a thousand pieces, as he bent down to pick up the bits he said f*** me and what I saw in the next 5 minutes will haunt me for the rest of my life.
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One night a guy takes his girlfriend home, feeling well randy and full of confidence he leans his hand on the wall and says "darling will you give me a blowjob"
"no my parents will see us"
"oh come on who's gonna see us at this hour"
"no, can you imagine if we get caught"
"oh come on they're all asleep"
"no its just too risky"
"please please I love you so much"
"I love you too but I just can't "
"I beg you"
then the landing light goes on and the girls sister comes down the stairs, in a sleepy voice says "dad says give him a blowjob, or I can do it, or if need be he'll do it but for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom"
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| mal | Posts: 8986 |  | |
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Jack Wiltshire has fallen out of the transfer window and will be out for four months
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