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sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #587 21 Nov 2012 at 12.39pm  0  Login    Register
Paddy walks into the doctors straight in to the doctors room and boots him right in the knackers and says "thats for telling my wife she's got a nice F@nny"" i told her she had Acute Angina " the doctor replied
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #586 21 Nov 2012 at 6.20am  0  Login    Register
I walked into WH Smiths and asked "do you have that new self help book for men with small cocks?"Girl says "I don't think its in yet."I said"yeah that's the one.
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #585 20 Nov 2012 at 7.28pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #584
carpy09
Posts: 14172
carpy09
   Old Thread  #584 20 Nov 2012 at 7.23pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #581
Some goodens their mate
bobbinslap
Posts: 20
bobbinslap
   Old Thread  #583 20 Nov 2012 at 10.00am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #580
bobbinslap
Posts: 20
bobbinslap
   Old Thread  #582 20 Nov 2012 at 9.59am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #579
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #581 20 Nov 2012 at 3.31am  0  Login    Register
Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and stopped breathing. I thought she was dead, until I saw the red spot on her forehead and realised she was just on standby
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #580 20 Nov 2012 at 3.31am  0  Login    Register
Paddy says, "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador . ”Bugger that!" says Mick. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #579 20 Nov 2012 at 3.27am  0  Login    Register
An Asian fellow has moved in next door. He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #578 20 Nov 2012 at 3.26am  0  Login    Register
19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #577 19 Nov 2012 at 11.27am  0  Login    Register
Apparently Lady Gaga's developed a nut allergy.

Guess that explains the recent rash on her inner thighs.
Adder_Noir
Posts: 3035
   Old Thread  #576 19 Nov 2012 at 5.44am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #567
That's brilliant Noj!!!
carra
Posts: 883
carra
   Old Thread  #575 18 Nov 2012 at 8.47pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #572
ralph69
Posts: 10398
ralph69
   Old Thread  #574 17 Nov 2012 at 10.55pm  0  Login    Register
hes a big headed **** aint he
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2241
Mr-Bean-Laden
   Old Thread  #573 17 Nov 2012 at 5.22pm  0  Login    Register
The father of 17 kids goes to the doc's with a rash on his belly. "All right" says the Doc, "drop 'em and let's have a look." Having been confronted with the evidence the Doc exclaims "Yes, you've got a bad rash there, but my word, what brown balls you've got. They're truly remarkable!".

The patient is a bit embarrassed and says "Look Doc, what about the rash?"

"Oh that's easy," said the Doc, "Here's some cream to rub on. By the way, those brown balls are amazing, my I ask....."

"No," said the patient, "You can't. Now, is that all Doc?"

"Well, " said the Doctor, " You could stop the rash coming back with a bit better hygiene. Tell your wife you need clean underpants every day. And those really are the brownest balls I've ever seen!"

The guy goes home and tells his wife that the Doctor says he needs clean underpants every day.

"What?" she yells, "Clean underpants every day, and me with 17 kids to chase after! Seventeen kids to wash, feed, clothe, get to school, tidy after, and you want clean underpants every day? You must be bloody joking, I haven't even got time to wipe my arse!"

"Ah" he said, "And that's another thing I wanted to talk to you about..."
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