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nwpiker41
Posts: 8093
nwpiker41
   Old Thread  #1349 15 Mar 2013 at 6.07pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1348
My pornstar friend died recently, so at his cremation, out of a mark of respect, we scattered his ashes all over his wife's face !!!
carpy09
Posts: 14172
carpy09
   Old Thread  #1348 15 Mar 2013 at 1.27pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1342
carpy09
Posts: 14172
carpy09
   Old Thread  #1347 15 Mar 2013 at 1.26pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1346 15 Mar 2013 at 12.32pm  0  Login    Register
I knocked on my neighbours door this morning and said, "Can you have my children? I'll be no longer than a few minutes, I promise."

"Sure," she replied,

I said, "Great, get your knickers off then."
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1345 15 Mar 2013 at 10.54am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1342
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1344 15 Mar 2013 at 10.54am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1343 15 Mar 2013 at 10.15am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1342
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1342 15 Mar 2013 at 10.10am  0  Login    Register
Went down on my girlfriend this morning even though she was on her period.

Just getting into the spirit of Red Nose Day.
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1341 15 Mar 2013 at 10.04am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
...........
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3455
WaftyCranker
   Old Thread  #1340 15 Mar 2013 at 7.48am  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1339
nice one
sik
Posts: 2391
sik
   Old Thread  #1339 15 Mar 2013 at 4.33am  0  Login    Register
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"

Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.

One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.

Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike
MattH85
Posts: 3680
MattH85
   Old Thread  #1338 14 Mar 2013 at 10.28pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1337
A knob has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an *******, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Son: Dad, what does 'gay' mean?
Dad: the dictionary says It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.

little Tommy comes home from school and is sitting eating his tea.
"mum what are bitches and pussy?"
his mothers annoyed but thinks for a second and then points to the dog "thats a bitch, its a female dog" she then points at the cat "and thats a pussy"
little tommy finishes his tea and goes to find his dad. "Dad what are bitches and pussy?" his dad thinks for a second, looks in a drawer and takes out a porn mag and draws a circle around a womans crotch.
"whats this dad?"
"thats your answer son, everything inside the circle is the pussy and everything outside the circle is the bitch"
Welshboi
Posts: 242
   Old Thread  #1337 14 Mar 2013 at 9.57pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1327
quality
SlugHunter
Posts: 22752
SlugHunter
   Old Thread  #1336 14 Mar 2013 at 8.24pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1334
catfish1
Posts: 1629
catfish1
   Old Thread  #1335 14 Mar 2013 at 8.21pm  0  Login    Register
In reply to Post #1334
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