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Joke Thread (640,389 views)
Snapper1725
Posts: 1,146
#325 12 Sep 2012 11:42
0
3 woman sat drinking& talking about sexy pet names they have for their husbands.
1st one says, I call mine, The dentist because he knows how to drill and fill me.
2nd one says,I call mine, the miner, cause of his long dark shaft.
3rd one says, I call mine, the postman. The other 2 woman smile and ask why? She replys, cause his sacks are always full, he takes ages to come & if he can't deliver at the front, he'll try round the back!
no1carpangler no1carpangler
Posts: 101
#326 12 Sep 2012 17:41
0
In reply to Post #322
haaaaaaaaaaa
MikeDaddy81
Posts: 2,322
#327 13 Sep 2012 08:28
0
In reply to Post #326
What's a good friendship and a nice sandwich got in common? both completely ruined once you put your penis in it
catfish1 catfish1
Posts: 1,629
#328 13 Sep 2012 17:43
0
In reply to Post #324
MrGrantski MrGrantski
Posts: 953
#329 13 Sep 2012 18:49
0
In reply to Post #327
haha i like that
carpy09 carpy09
Posts: 14,233
#330 13 Sep 2012 20:26
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In reply to Post #324
carpy09 carpy09
Posts: 14,233
#331 13 Sep 2012 20:27
0
In reply to Post #325
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#332 14 Sep 2012 07:41
0
Two couples on holiday, and husbands Paul and Dave decide to try and get their ladies to wife swap. Amazingly they agree but Paul knows his wife is on her time of the month so he's got one up on Dave. They agree that at breakfast they'll tap the spoon on the table however many times they shagged the other's missus. Next morning Paul grins and taps twice, looks across at Dave who smiles then taps once on the jam and three times on the Nutella!
WaftyCranker WaftyCranker
Posts: 3,455
#333 14 Sep 2012 20:40
0
"A Vodka Martini please mate," I said as I pushed my way in front of two massive women in the cocktail bar."That's very rude!" one of them said, "Just for that you can buy ours! That'll be two margaritas.""And two cheese and tomato pizzas for these fat cu*ts please."
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#334 16 Sep 2012 11:34
0

A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, 'How long before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, 'About 2 hours.'The guy left. A few days later, the same guy....'How long before I can get a haircut?'The barber looked around at the shop and said, 'About 3 hours.'The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, 'How lo
ng before I can get a haircut?The barber looked around the shop and said, 'About an hour and a half .The guy left.The barber turned to his friend and said, 'Hey, Bob, do me a favor , follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back. 'A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, 'So, where does he go when he leaves? 'Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, 'Your house!'!!
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#335 16 Sep 2012 11:35
0
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race Evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."!!
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#336 16 Sep 2012 11:40
0
lv just been down my garden and saw my dog shagging a cabbage silly ba....d must have thought it was a collie
D_Viper D_Viper
Posts: 3,119
#337 16 Sep 2012 11:40
0
In reply to Post #334


I told the wife to read this one, she did then said "was it his brother or something?"
Bless her............Blonde & all that
SlugHunter SlugHunter
Posts: 22,752
#338 16 Sep 2012 11:42
0
In reply to Post #334
sik sik
Posts: 2,391
#339 16 Sep 2012 11:51
0
Wife buys some crotchless undies.. puts her leg up on sofa and says to hubby "'want some of this?" hubby replies "f..k off! Look what it's done to your knickers
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