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In reply to Post #66
Don’t fancy wiping its crack.
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That schrodinger bloke had some good ideas for dealing with cats 
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In reply to Post #1
Apparently cats don’t like the smell of Jeyes fluid.
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In reply to Post #66
I bet that makes the daffodils grow, grrrrrrrreat stuff 
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In reply to Post #1
get some tiger sh&^t from the nearest zoo and spread it about, have heard it works 
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In reply to Post #64
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In reply to Post #63
Not if you want keep your skull,fingers and thumbs intact 
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In reply to Post #61
That’s one way......
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In reply to Post #49
Must have missed this for a while. Cracker that Chuffy 
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Cats are vermin you wouldn't let your dog roam the streets at night, nail carpet gripper on top of the fence or spread out used dried out tea bags soaked in jays fluid
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In reply to Post #55
Elton John must of said the same at least once in his life.
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In reply to Post #56
I'd of said Braders was more Dollar, Bucks Fizz and Steps.
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In reply to Post #57
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In reply to Post #56
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In reply to Post #54
Exactly.
The cat probably saw Val Dooligan on the label and thought the next step could have been you playing it.
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In reply to Post #53
Why, what have I done?.
At the very least it’s deserving of a laser up its 5h1tter.
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In reply to Post #53
If you can't keep your animal under control and it was damaging my belongings then it would get whatever I deemed necessary to get rid of it.When our neighbours had cats and they kept digging up our plants we hung cd's on canes and they did not go near again as they could see their reflection in the cd's.It worked and no harm came to the cats and my fingers are in perfect working order
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In reply to Post #52
How would you like it up yours?
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In reply to Post #48
Shine a laser pen up its ass.
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In reply to Post #49
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In reply to Post #47
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Cats are by law the only animal with rights to go wherever it likes( there’s a proper name for it but I can’t remember it ) But the owner is responsible for damage to property or attacking people ( not dogs)
sadly I can’t believe folk on here can be so callous as to try and inflict harm on an animal, Catapults etc 😡 if you want to frighten a cat off get a hose pipe or water pistol they soon learn after a few squirts and it doesn’t harm them
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I tried the ultrasonic emitters at my dad's place to stop the damned things ****ting in his flowerbeds, the local cats seemed to be attracted by it 
Then I got one of the motion sensor things you connect to the garden hose, that worked really well, the cat wouldn't even walk along the fence. After a couple of weeks I heard a neighbour (who had denied ownership of the evil thing) complaining it 'wasn't coming round the back because of that bloody hose'.
I laughed to my dad about it, then that night he got up in the night for a pee and heard a commotion in the garden. When he opened the window to see what it was he saw this woman rolling around in the middle of his lawn screaming because the sensor had picked her up and soaked her, she had fallen over still hanging on to the thing and couldn't regain her feet as it was still squirting everywhere
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In reply to Post #45
Another good thread ruined 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
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Watch out for head bouncers !
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I played paintball with a team around 15 years ago for about 5 years , just saying !
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In reply to Post #38
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Oh yeah, gotta try take a p155 too with 8 floppy broken fingers n 2 floppy broken thumbs, and all for a miserly cost of £200.
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In reply to Post #40
Puss wars 
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In reply to Post #39
When protecting your pussy nothing is a joke.You could end up with a broken skull and hands if you mess with the wrong one
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In reply to Post #38
It was a joke 
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In reply to Post #37
Careful,you will have your head bounced off the pavement by the pussy protection patrol
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In reply to Post #36
Flamethrower?
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Apart from getting a leg breaker from spinbowler along with 8 broken fingers and 2 thumbs, 2ft high bamboo on the fence intertwined with fox submerge line, a resin jack Russell what’s the final thoughts please lads?.
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In reply to Post #33
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Ice bucket challenge the pussy, the best suggestion i've seen so far is borrow a Jack Russell for a few days then when he's seen the cat off put an ornament one in the garden.
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In reply to Post #29
Lock stock and two smoking pussys
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| | | noj | | Posts: 11459 | | | Social photographer... | |
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Got to love the internet.. ffs
Imagine taking the advice of installing galvanised **** on your fence with a matrix of fishing line between and the stupid cat somehow becomes entwined in it.
So you now have a fence that looks like **** and the stroker from next door who threatens to hospitalise people having to pay a bloke who has the cojones to actually do it. He’d probably need to rescue the cat in the price for him too because the top few rungs of a ladder can be intimidating to a coward.
How about mixing the sand that’s being dig out with cement so the ****er can’t get it out, with the added bonus of a decorative porcelain cosh to defend yourself from the local unemployed reserve wicket keeper?
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In reply to Post #29
Get one of the bikers to run it over or get someone (not the builder) to clump it one with a fence post
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In reply to Post #28
**** me,its gone from scaring a cat out of a garden to a gangster film with hardmen that own cats .Lock stock and two smoking pussys
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In reply to Post #27
Thank goodness it wasn’t me as I’m pretty scared of things like that.
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In reply to Post #26
**** knows.
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In reply to Post #24
Is his (0(k as floppy as his 8 fingers and 2 thumbs?.
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In reply to Post #22
Luckily they won’t be shafting anyone else over in a hurry.
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In reply to Post #23
Ever seen a bloke try to take a piss with 8 broken fingers and 2 broken thumbs?
Best £200 i ever spent.
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In reply to Post #21
I do not know only that its getting trashed. There are artificial flowers in porcelain vases which are filled with sand to help keep them in place and imagine it’s the sand that’s attracting it. No excuse though and no excuse for attacking a dog.
Needs to stop or be stopped as it’s just not acceptable.
On a lighter note, what kind of hospital treatment is your favourite to carry out. With a username like that surely it’s got to be the leg breaker.....
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In reply to Post #16
Your council will be less interested in your cat problem than your builders are in putting right your bodged building job.
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In reply to Post #20
Is this trashing happening during the day or night?
Cats are lazy, generally they will sit around most of the day. Never seen one trashing plants as there is no point to it, Badgers on the other hand do.
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In reply to Post #19
Just couldn’t understand how it escalated to that really.
Just goes to show, don’t mix ya drinks kids.
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In reply to Post #18
Is it multiple choice? I will go with **** as it rhymes with cat
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In reply to Post #17
Wow, that’s a lot of work for someone with a large yard.
Don’t be a what?.
Edit - Also, what breaking strain?. Nash, shimano, Berkeley, Drennan - any preference?.
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In reply to Post #16
Don’t be a ****.
The most simple and cheapest way I’d try would be to use a flat wallplate strap extending up and over the boundaries by 2ft and either put tonnes of fishing line inter twined so the cats cannot jump up onto the fence and make their way through it or a bamboo roll out sheet that extends higher than the boundary although this may be flagged by neighbours and in breach of planning permission etc.
If you make it stupidly hard for the cat to do something, they don’t bother.
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In reply to Post #15
I guess if it was me and your cat was attacking my dog and trashing possessions and was thought of as acceptable then I’m afraid I’d have to take the hospital treatment.
Edit - Quick google suggests such thing as an abatement order served from the local council.
Suppose that may be worth a try than trying out an ambulance, what you think?.
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In reply to Post #1
Id be interested in knowing what sort of "authorities" you think would be interested in your pussy video?
As already said if anyone hurt our cat's they would need hospital treatment.
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In reply to Post #13
How would it be possible to stop them?.
All that you read on the net they’re not foolproof.
Edit - if it was your cat attacking a dog what would you suggest?.
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In reply to Post #12
If anyone was to hurt my cats, I’d bounce their head off the pavement.
If you want to stop a cat getting in your garden, it’s not exactly hard to do.
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In reply to Post #11
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Catapult , i swear by them ! it's what they were made for !
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In reply to Post #9
Unfortunately his dog is knocking on a bit and not exactly in the best of health due to lung damage caused by lungworm.
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| | | mal | | Posts: 8986 |  | |
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In reply to Post #1
He needs to have a word with his dog by the sound of it...
Although having said that, my cat is 19 and still bossing the local canine population. ...
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In reply to Post #1
No cat ever came into my mates garden when he had his Jack Russell, well not twice anyway.
Rent a Russell?
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Was thinking he could use a strong powerful laser pen as then it’d become a burnt hot pussy.
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My type of replies. I’ll pass on info.
Thanks all.
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In reply to Post #4
I do believe you can get little pest controllers that emit a sound of a certain frequency that deters them
Yes, if it goes with a loud bang, it’s a shotgun
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Cats are so annoying. I do believe you can get little pest controllers that emit a sound of a certain frequency that deters them. How effective they are I don’t know though. B&M is the last place I saw them. Be worth a look on eBay or Amazon for them.
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In reply to Post #1
Not a a leg to stand on it’s an animal, once the cat is out, it’s out 
How about some humane cat deterrent?
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In reply to Post #1
There is a few options Some of which would not sit well with Some members on here or the rspca
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Friend tells me that he has a neighbouring cat that not only comes into his yard annoying and attacking his dog but also trashes a memorial of plants and pots that are in memory of his late mother and father.
I’ve told him try to video every time you notice it around and report it to the relevant authorities. Other than asking the neighbour to have the cat as a homely creature or to offer it to other family members or give it away then I don’t see what you could do about it.
Anyone else had experiences of this please as would appreciate your input, or anyone else’s input for that matter.
Thanks in advance.
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NON Carp stuff