CarpForum - Fishing Forum
  Already registered? [Log-In]  New user? [Register]

Want 11,000+ anglers a day to see your product or service?  Click HERE to see how
Home Who's Online Member List Gallery Downloads Fish Ins Weather
Rules / Usage Help / FAQs Search Articles The Carp Shop
  New Posts: 0
   Divorce
 [Log-In]  [Register] 
CarpingBucks is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of CarpingBucks (Aidan)
CarpingBucks
Posts: 42
   Old Thread  #24 28 Aug 2019 at 5.05pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was quite late to carp fishing, I didn't start until two years ago (35 at the time) . I spent every spare minute I could on the bank. My wife eventually said I was spending too much time doing it, especially since i was spending a great deal of time with work in the US, and I pulled it right back as she is by far and away the most important person in my life. It also wasn't fair I would be coming home from 2 weeks away and go fishing. At that point I reduced it to one weekend (as in Sat-Sun) per month. Happily I have since changed jobs which leaves me able to get away early on a Thurs and not have to work until midday on a Friday, perfect overnighter that doesn't infringe on 'us time' on a weekend.

Interestingly it has also given me more options on syndicates as weekday tickets are easier to get.

wandle1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of wandle1 (Adam)
Contact details supplied to MODs
wandle1
Posts: 5729
   Old Thread  #23 28 Aug 2019 at 12.35pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I think I must be a really lucky chap,my wife really supports my Angling,honestly I could go for as long as I want when I want,i`m now semi retired at 54....but do you know what I don't want to anymore,one short overnighter a week is all I need or a long day session,maybe a bit of a coastal wild camp ,who knows...

There are lots of things outside of angling that we have planned together....However I wasn`t always like this,i`m embarrassed to show how many lakes ive fished and caught from,all time I could have spent with my lovely lady,i WAS selfish....and she never ever complained,not once..!!!


Lasy year I lost a good friend,my prot aged 43,last week his step father passed ,both good angling friends of mine ,same village ,dog walking route etc ,ie,closeÖ.it makes you think,reminds one of how you spend time with the people you love and care about the most,....We are a long time DEAD....

Having said this ,and I said how lucky I am with my wife ,she has always maintained that to keep any relationship alive ,separate interests are good for the soul and marriage...Ö.

years ago i had a carp themed road show come to my area ,sponsored by ,at the time some well known anglers and the associated companies,apart from my uncle everyone of them was divorced through carp angling....
just_eat is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of just_eat (Dan)
just_eat
Posts: 44
   Old Thread  #22 28 Aug 2019 at 12.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #21
If I do two or more nights on the trot it costs me a takeaway and a bottle of fizzy wine (she calls it 'fishing tax'). She has no problem with me going because she wants me to be happy, she has days out and it's well balanced. We have 4 kids so I really do appreciate her understanding my passion.
Daveb36 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Daveb36 (Dave)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Daveb36
Posts: 301
   Old Thread  #21 28 Aug 2019 at 10.16am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
When she was 16 and I was 17 a lovely girl fluttered her eye lashes at me and said "But you'd give up fishing if I asked you - wouldn't you?"

I said "Sure, just never ask me"

We are still together 45 years later. But I've always been reasonable and she has always been encouraging so it's been relatively easy. I can see how fishing can make the misses feel like she's somewhere behind it in the energy and affection a man can give. We should all surprise them occasionally like coming home early with a bunch of daffs and a bottle of plonk.
yonny is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of yonny (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
yonny
Posts: 7105
   Old Thread  #20 28 Aug 2019 at 9.21am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #16
Crackers4Carp is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Crackers4Carp (Daniel)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Crackers4Carp
Posts: 643
   Old Thread  #19 28 Aug 2019 at 9.10am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #15
I also done a few of those last summer. It just felt like my chance was gone by 9 if i'm honest. So not only had I already lost 2 hours mentally I was knackered for the rest of the day lol.
Crackers4Carp is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Crackers4Carp (Daniel)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Crackers4Carp
Posts: 643
   Old Thread  #18 28 Aug 2019 at 9.10am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #15
I also done a few of those last summer. It just felt like my chance was gone by 9 if i'm honest. So not only had I already lost 2 hours mentally I was knackered for the rest of the day lol.
Crackers4Carp is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Crackers4Carp (Daniel)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Crackers4Carp
Posts: 643
   Old Thread  #17 28 Aug 2019 at 9.10am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #15
I also done a few of those last summer. It just felt like my chance was gone by 9 if i'm honest. So not only had I already lost 2 hours mentally I was knackered for the rest of the day lol.
midlandman is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of midlandman (Mark)
midlandman
Posts: 3096
   Old Thread  #16 28 Aug 2019 at 9.04am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #15
Haha I know what you mean mate. What I kind of meant is that it feels like a full session.

In effect you are fishing during pretty much the entire feeding spell on most of my waters, an overnighter means a load of faffing about and most of the time is wasted.

Early starts and tactical baiting in between. It keeps the fire burning for me.
yonny is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of yonny (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
yonny
Posts: 7105
   Old Thread  #15 28 Aug 2019 at 9.00am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #14
Getting down to the pit at 4am and fishing until 11am....it feels like a long trip when you are really up for it!

You need to pass on your wisdom to me then mate as I'm also doing 4-11am morning sessions due to the little'n and it feels like it lasts abut 10 seconds

midlandman is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of midlandman (Mark)
midlandman
Posts: 3096
   Old Thread  #14 28 Aug 2019 at 8.52am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The effect that divorce has upon children can cause lifelong problems.

To cause all that for a carp is unforgiveable.

I used to fish a lot of nights for many years. I have now probably done 30 nights fishing in the last 10 years since having kids. Have I missed it...no! I still carp fish and have not compromised the integrity of my fishing in the slightest. Early morning sessions are a real eye opener. Getting down to the pit at 4am and fishing until 11am....it feels like a long trip when you are really up for it!

Anyway, my type of fishing is on the downward projectory....Low stock waters, history fish. The otters have seriously knackered things. But thatís life, I have discovered fishing for barbel, big roach, pike etc etc....and guess what, you donít need to fish nights and knacker your family life doing it!
bowlsky is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of bowlsky (Carl)
Contact details supplied to MODs
bowlsky
Posts: 2543
   Old Thread  #13 28 Aug 2019 at 8.09am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #12
Well said . If I ever become close to losing everything I have over fishing I hope somebody gives me a good shake . When I first discovered carp fishing I did become very selfish with it , it did almost break me and my wife up (then girlfriend) Luckily I salvaged it and learnt a few lessons at the same time , I was a lot younger then and hadnít matured fully.
yonny is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of yonny (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
yonny
Posts: 7105
   Old Thread  #12 28 Aug 2019 at 7.36am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Many of us would admit that carp angling is an addiction but imo losing your family over it is unforgivable. I am as obsessed as the next man but the thought of losing the Mrs and lad over it renders me almost speechless.

You need to channel that energy into working around your family time, not replacing it.
Smufter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Smufter (Robert)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Smufter
Posts: 3624
   Old Thread  #11 28 Aug 2019 at 6.23am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #6
I'll always ask the Missus before I go. She has never said "No"....
Most of my fishing is done mid-week as I get Tuesdays off, and she is at work anyway.
Went to France for the week last year with my daughter and this year with some lads from White Cottage. She didn't have a problem with that.
Normally go to a lovely place called "The Retreat" and she will come with us as there is a smashing Gite there where she can relax. Fish early mornings and evenings only, day is spent doing what she wants to do. Be that shopping, bbq, restaurant etc.
She will be my net fairy on those trips and spend the time sitting lakeside reading a book, catching a bit of evening sun that sort of thing.
If it were ever a problem for her, I wouldn't go. Simples.
darkoL is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of darkoL (Darko)
darkoL
Posts: 1443
   Old Thread  #10 28 Aug 2019 at 6.18am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #9
Use to do 100 nights plus before kids but since my 2 daughters were born it went down to hardly any... Not because I couldnt do it it is just after 2 nights it just feels strange, I miss kids and wife to much. I probably cut my 4 days trips down to 2 on 90% of trips. I take my kids fishing with me but rhey want to see and do so many different things I dont have the heart to tie them to one activity. I think it comes natural off course in different forms to all of us and if you dont feel it than there are other issues involved in relationship not just fishing.
Page: 3.66666666666667 of 5  
  
  © Copyright 2002-2021  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk