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   Old Thread  #1772 26 May 2013 at 1.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Little Johnny: "Let's see, 6,000 for materials, 4,000 for labour, then there's the electrics and the plumbing. Will do the job for 12,000."

Little Patel: "I am sorry, I know my shop needs this extension but I have only 9,000 to offer you, Plus all your discounted grocery needs."

Teacher: "What on earth is going on here?"

Little Johnny: "Please miss, we are playing cowboys and Indians."
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   Old Thread  #1771 26 May 2013 at 7.18am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1770 24 May 2013 at 11.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Bill Kenwright was in Tesco the other day,.,. he saw an old lady struggling to reach a box on the top shelf..............

"Can you manage love"? he asked....

"**** off" she shouted.., "I don't want the bloody job either"
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   Old Thread  #1769 24 May 2013 at 11.11am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
"I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," the young man said, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size."

"Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his.

"Oh, yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours."

"Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl queried as she wrapped the gloves.

"Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs some tampons."
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   Old Thread  #1768 24 May 2013 at 7.46am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1767 23 May 2013 at 9.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1766 23 May 2013 at 9.18pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A business man is dating a girl who is addicted to sex.

He really loves her, and of course hes a man so he doesn't mind it.

Well because he has to travel a lot for his job but he was afraid his girl would cheat on him. So he went to an adult store in search of something for her to use. A clerk came up to him and asked him what he was looking for, he explained his situation and the clerk told him that he had just the perfect thing for him. He led the business man to the back of the store and pulled out a wooden box. He explained "alright, inside this box is a voodoo dildo. All you gotta do it say voodoo dildo whatever it is you want it too and open the box. Like this: Voodoo dildo the door,"he opened the box and the dildo jumped out and went over and started humping the door. "To get it back in all you gotta do is say voodoo dildo back in the box." and the dildo got back in. So the man bought it and took it home. He explained to his girlfriend that all she had to do when she got horny was tell the dick "voodoo dick my pussy" and it would do it. So he left and went on his trip. Not long after his girl got horny so she opened the box and said "voodoo dildo my pussy" it jumped out and started giving it too her. Well after hours and hours of amazing satisfaction, she realized she didnt know how to make it stop. So after trying and trying she got into her car and decided to go to the hospital, on the way she swerved all over the road. A passing cop saw this and pulled her over. The woman explained the situation and the cop scoffed and said "Hah...voodoo dildo my arse"
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   Old Thread  #1765 23 May 2013 at 6.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1764 23 May 2013 at 2.32pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
"You know, it was roasting in bed last night.." I said to the wife.

"But with you there, it was like sleeping next to a fridge."

"Oh come on!" She protested.

"You can't say I'm cold."

"No, you're not." I agreed.

"But you ARE huge and full of food."
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   Old Thread  #1763 22 May 2013 at 8.47pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1762 22 May 2013 at 8.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
If you want to bet live in fight during the next Audley Harrison fight, make sure you sign into your account before round 1 starts.
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   Old Thread  #1761 22 May 2013 at 6.54pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
On my way to work this morning i noticed the man driving next to me was texting whilst driving.
Knowing how dangerous that can be,i promptly rolled down my window and threw my beer at him.
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   Old Thread  #1760 22 May 2013 at 6.50pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
CLAIM,,CLAIM,,CLAIM,,,were you abused by a celebrity in the seventies or eighties???Did Jim fix it for you??Where you one of rolfs two little boys??Did you get serviced in Kevin webster's garage??Remember,Where there's a stain,there's a claim!!

Simply send a Email to MYARSEISSTILLSORE.com to start your fraudulent claim!!!!
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   Old Thread  #1759 22 May 2013 at 6.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1758 22 May 2013 at 2.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My boss called me into his office and told me to go into the restroom and masturbate..

I came back and told him I'd finished to which he ordered me to go and do it again.

On my return I told him I had done the deed and he ordered me to go and do it again!

I explained that I couldn't possibly do it so soon.

He then threw his car keys too me and said "Now you can run my daughter home"
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