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   Old Thread  #1812 6 Jun 2013 at 10.30pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1811
Hey! Cmon!! Not the place for educational & cultural insights!! Let's get back to socks full of cum, and w@nking over distressed old ladies!!
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   Old Thread  #1811 5 Jun 2013 at 11.26pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1800
Re: Martin's post 'I have a Scottish friend';. In Canada, almost the entire country was at one time owned by the Hudson's Bay Company, who brought bond servants and peasants from the Orkneys to work in it's Northern Stores. In 1972, 300 years after they started, when I worked up there they were still doing it, (clerks had to work off their plane fare and expenses). Relevance?, there are an incredible number of Native Canadians named Harper, Flett, Mackay, etc. There may be more Native Canadians named John Harper than Scots. Bannock is the staple bread of most First Nations in Canada as well, and unless I'm wrong a good bit of the States. Sorry no joke, next time!
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   Old Thread  #1810 5 Jun 2013 at 10.52pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Roberto Martinez has promised to bring Champions League football to Goodison Park.

He aims to have Sky Sports installed by September.
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   Old Thread  #1809 5 Jun 2013 at 2.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Heard my neighbour shagging for what seemed like ages last night, moaning, groaning and banging the headboard off the wall.

Turns out her elderly mother had fallen over cracked her head and was knocking on the wall with her stick for help.

I feel a bit guilty about the w@nk now.
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   Old Thread  #1808 4 Jun 2013 at 11.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The big-titted blonde from next door lent over the garden fence earlier dressed in just a see-through negligee, and asked if I could pound her pussy.

I phoned my mate Dave from the animal shelter, and he popped round.

He was there for three hours, and left with a big smile on his face, but no cat.

Strange.
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   Old Thread  #1807 4 Jun 2013 at 7.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1806
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   Old Thread  #1806 4 Jun 2013 at 7.50pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
So Tulisa has been arrested for dealing Class A drugs...

I guess we won't be seeing 'Share a Coke with Tulisa' on bottles anytime soon.
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   Old Thread  #1805 3 Jun 2013 at 8.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Wearing crocs is like being sucked off by a man.

It feels great but when you look down you can see it is just wrong.
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   Old Thread  #1804 3 Jun 2013 at 8.04pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1803 3 Jun 2013 at 6.29pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Brazil's new stadium looks good, I expected the pitch to just be a strip of turf on the edge of the box.
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   Old Thread  #1802 3 Jun 2013 at 8.46am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I accidentally wore my w@nk sock to work yesterday.

Now I've got to pretend I broke my leg skiing for the next three months so I don't look creepy.
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   Old Thread  #1801 3 Jun 2013 at 7.48am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What do you get if you can catch a tan Monday to Friday?

Job seekers allowance
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   Old Thread  #1800 2 Jun 2013 at 4.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I have a Scottish friend, who last year married a Native American girl, and the couple recently celebrated the birth of a baby boy.

Choosing the name proved to be very contentious, though.

He wanted to give him a Scot's name, while she wanted to give him a traditional Mohican one.

Thankfully, they sorted it, and I was really honoured when they asked me if I would be Godfather to little Hawkeye The Noo.
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   Old Thread  #1799 2 Jun 2013 at 1.56pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was flirting with a couple of girls at the bar last night when suddenly my wife called me.

She said, "Dave, where are you?"

I styled it out by remaining silent and just continued to smile at the girls.

"Dave, where the **** are you?" she screamed even louder.

Again I remained silent and took a sip of my pint.

This went on for a good 30 seconds before my wife eventually picked up her white stick and walked out.
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   Old Thread  #1798 2 Jun 2013 at 10.31am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1797
Digging up the garden this morning,I found a Land Rover buried 6ft down...which was a nice discovery.
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