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   Old Thread  #1818 7 Jun 2013 at 6.50am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
stop being horrible to the fat kid he already got enough on his plate.

My deaf girlfriend has been having an affair with a deaf friend of mine.I should of seen the signs!!

An old man gets on a bus and there are no seats so he leans on his walking stick.The bus brakes and he slips.A young boy says "Mister,if you had a rubber at the end of your stick that wouldn't of happened".The old man replies "if your dad had taken the same advice I'd have a ******* seat".
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   Old Thread  #1817 7 Jun 2013 at 6.42am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
3 manchester utd fans walk into a bar..A glory hunter,a cockney and a ****.... that was just the first one.
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   Old Thread  #1816 7 Jun 2013 at 6.40am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
my son said,"Dad,when was the first time you fell in love?"I said, "I was 18.I walked into a bar and spotted the most gorgeous blonde I'd ever seen.Cupid fired his arrow the second i saw her." He said, "so what happened?" I said "nothing.Unfortunately the arrow missed and hit your ******* mother."
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   Old Thread  #1815 7 Jun 2013 at 6.33am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1812
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   Old Thread  #1814 7 Jun 2013 at 6.32am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1813 6 Jun 2013 at 11.34pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Damn straight lol
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   Old Thread  #1812 6 Jun 2013 at 10.30pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Hey! Cmon!! Not the place for educational & cultural insights!! Let's get back to socks full of cum, and w@nking over distressed old ladies!!
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   Old Thread  #1811 5 Jun 2013 at 11.26pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Re: Martin's post 'I have a Scottish friend';. In Canada, almost the entire country was at one time owned by the Hudson's Bay Company, who brought bond servants and peasants from the Orkneys to work in it's Northern Stores. In 1972, 300 years after they started, when I worked up there they were still doing it, (clerks had to work off their plane fare and expenses). Relevance?, there are an incredible number of Native Canadians named Harper, Flett, Mackay, etc. There may be more Native Canadians named John Harper than Scots. Bannock is the staple bread of most First Nations in Canada as well, and unless I'm wrong a good bit of the States. Sorry no joke, next time!
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   Old Thread  #1810 5 Jun 2013 at 10.52pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Roberto Martinez has promised to bring Champions League football to Goodison Park.

He aims to have Sky Sports installed by September.
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   Old Thread  #1809 5 Jun 2013 at 2.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Heard my neighbour shagging for what seemed like ages last night, moaning, groaning and banging the headboard off the wall.

Turns out her elderly mother had fallen over cracked her head and was knocking on the wall with her stick for help.

I feel a bit guilty about the w@nk now.
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   Old Thread  #1808 4 Jun 2013 at 11.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The big-titted blonde from next door lent over the garden fence earlier dressed in just a see-through negligee, and asked if I could pound her pussy.

I phoned my mate Dave from the animal shelter, and he popped round.

He was there for three hours, and left with a big smile on his face, but no cat.

Strange.
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   Old Thread  #1807 4 Jun 2013 at 7.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1806 4 Jun 2013 at 7.50pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
So Tulisa has been arrested for dealing Class A drugs...

I guess we won't be seeing 'Share a Coke with Tulisa' on bottles anytime soon.
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   Old Thread  #1805 3 Jun 2013 at 8.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Wearing crocs is like being sucked off by a man.

It feels great but when you look down you can see it is just wrong.
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   Old Thread  #1804 3 Jun 2013 at 8.04pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1803
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