|
|
|
|
 #2590 15 Apr 2018 at 3.42am | |   |
|
|
*****s are like ****ing kebabs , you only wanna eat one when you're ****ing piss3d
|
|
|
|
|
#2589 22 Mar 2018 at 7.52am | | |
|
In reply to Post #2587
Mate of mine has just got a job at a funeral directors.
He ran up to the owner and said "Hey Boss, that little old lady over there has got a prawn sticking out from between her legs".
The boss went to have a look and said "You stupid sod, that's her clitoris".
"Well it tasted like a prawn" he said.
|
|
|
|
|
#2588 15 Mar 2018 at 5.43pm | | |
|
The old Guy went for his annual check-up. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the toilet during the night, then said: I must be blessed, God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm finished", later that day, the doc called the old guys wife and said: "his test results were fine, but he claims that God turns the light on and off for him when uses the toilet at night,”
wife said “the silly old sod, he’s been peeing in the fridge again”.
|
|
|
|
|
#2587 25 Feb 2018 at 11.56am | | |
|
In reply to Post #2586
|
|
|
|
|
#2586 24 Feb 2018 at 7.14pm | | |
|
In reply to Post #1
Got back from the lake the other day and found my wife in bed with my best friend..
Obviously I kicked her out, I'm not going to stand for it! As for my best friend I sat down with him, looked him straight in the eyes and said 'bad dog'
|
|
|
|
|
#2585 11 Feb 2018 at 0.23am | | |
|
In reply to Post #1
My therapist told me that a good way to let go of my anger was to write letters to the people I hate and to burn them.
I did that, and the hereapists suggestion was right, I do feel a lot better.
But now I am wondering if I should I keep the letters?
Tel
|
|
|
|
|
#2584 31 Jan 2018 at 2.32pm | | |
|
In reply to Post #1
I arrived at the bus stop the other day to find a rather plump lady waiting.
"When's it due"? I asked.
"I'm not pregnant you cheeky git" she replied.
"I meant the bus you fat c*nt" I said.
|
|
|
|
|
#2583 30 Jan 2018 at 11.17pm | | |
|
In reply to Post #1
A priest was called to perform an exorcism on a chicken coop.
He managed to rid it of a poultrygeist.
Tel
|
|
|
|
|
#2582 30 Jan 2018 at 11.12pm | | |
|
In reply to Post #1
A friend’s wife asked him what he was doing today.
“Nothing planned” was his reply.
She then reminded him that he had done nothing the previous day.
Quick as a flash he came back with.
“I know. I haven’t finished yet”
Tel
|
|
|
|
|
#2581 14 Jan 2018 at 7.35pm | | |
|
|
guy goes into the clinic says "I've got a strawberry up my arse" Doc says I've got some cream for that.
|
|
|
|
|
#2580 5 Jan 2018 at 7.17am | | |
|
In reply to Post #2577
Bill & Ben lying in bed.
Bill says "Flibber, flobba, flibber flobba"
Ben says "If you loved me, you'd swallow that"
|
|
|
|
|
#2579 21 Dec 2017 at 7.15pm | | |
|
In reply to Post #2578
|
|
|
|
|
#2578 19 Dec 2017 at 12.48pm | | |
|
|
A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says. "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free." The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well. "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks. "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!”
|
|
|
|
|
#2577 26 Oct 2017 at 10.38pm | | |
|
In reply to Post #2576
Tel
|
|
|
|
|
#2576 26 Oct 2017 at 8.06pm | | |
|
In reply to Post #2575
It's hard to find any good chemistry jokes anymore
All the best Argon
|
|
