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 #1909 14 Jul 2013 at 7.10pm | |   |
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A bloke brings his mate home after work to meet his wife.His wife screams "You ******* dickhead,my hair and makeup are a mess,the house is a right ******* tip,the dishes aren't done,i'm still in my pyjamas,i can't be bothered to cook and it's my time of the month".
"Why the **** did you bring him home?" The husband replies "because he was thinking of getting married.
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#1908 14 Jul 2013 at 7.02pm | | |
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odds on being next to pick up the ashes
England 6/4 ,
Aussies 3/1,
Winnie Mandela 1/3.
Sheryl Gascoigne 4/5
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#1907 14 Jul 2013 at 6.56pm | | |
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The Doctor put my wife on a new pill and now we have sex every night! doesn't matter what position we are in,nothing wakes her....
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#1906 14 Jul 2013 at 6.52pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1905
 
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#1905 12 Jul 2013 at 8.31am | | |
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Sad to read that the creator of classic party game Twister has died. Top bloke and will always be remembered fpr giving me the chance to see my auntie's cock
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#1904 11 Jul 2013 at 7.16pm | | |
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"Hi, I'm Jane," she said.
"I'm Ian ," I replied, "but everyone calls me Dick for short."
"How do you get Dick from Ian?" she asked.
" as you asked nicely," I said.
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#1903 11 Jul 2013 at 5.39pm | | |
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Ramadan Diaries
Monday - didn't wash
Tuesday - didn't wash
Wednesday - didn't wash
Thursday - didn't wash
Friday - didn't wash
Saturday - bought rucksack
Sunday - won't need to wash.
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#1902 11 Jul 2013 at 3.04pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1901
Who says the Scotts are Tight?
A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform,
marches into a pharmacy.
Very carefully he opens his sporran
and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, then
unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief,
which he also unfolds -
to reveal a condom.
The condom has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.
"Six pence" says the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence" says the chemist.
The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the
silk square handkerchief
and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran,
and marches out of the door,
shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,
followed by an even greater shout.
The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists
and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.
"The regiment has taken a vote," he says.
“We'll have a new one
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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#1901 10 Jul 2013 at 3.34pm | | |
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Me and my girlfriend were sitting relaxed, having a chat when I accidently sh1t myself.
I'd hoped she wouldn't notice, but then it floated to the top of the bath
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#1900 10 Jul 2013 at 3.31pm | | |
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I saw my first Ethiopian DJ last night.
MT Stomach
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#1899 10 Jul 2013 at 12.03pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1893
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#1898 10 Jul 2013 at 9.07am | | |
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In reply to Post #1896
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#1897 9 Jul 2013 at 8.59pm | | |
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Well done the British bloke who won Wimbledon this year.
so much better than that scotch ****who lost last year.
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#1896 9 Jul 2013 at 8.57pm | | |
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investigators are interviewing the Korean pilot following Sats plane crash.Lan Ding Gon Wong says his velly solly.
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#1895 9 Jul 2013 at 8.54pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1890
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