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   Old Thread  #2010 7 Nov 2013 at 4.40pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife banged on the toilet door and said "hurry up I need a **** " **** off," I shouted
"I'm trying to have a w**k in here" "so that's more important than diarrhoea" she screamed.
I yelled through the door "I'm just about to come for **** sake,just wait a few moments
Will you" What a impatient,big mouthed gob***** she is.God knows what everyone on the
Plane must have thought....!!
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   Old Thread  #2009 7 Nov 2013 at 2.27pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My mate has 10 65" BLACK LED TVs for sale for 400 each.
If you want one,let me know asap.heres the link of the same model
At Currys worth 4500

htpp://bit.ly/IFRXA8
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   Old Thread  #2008 6 Nov 2013 at 5.40pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A cockney and a scouser go into gregg's.the scouser steals 3 pasties and puts them in his pocket,then boasts to the cockney "did you see that? The staff never saw me."
The cockney says "that's nothing! Watch this"and goes into the shop.
He says to the manager,"give me 3 pasties and i'll show you some magic."
He eats them all and the manager says,"How is that magic?"
The cockney replied, "check that scouser's pocket"!!
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   Old Thread  #2007 6 Nov 2013 at 5.29pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A fossil of a human jawbone was recently found that was believed to be over 10,000,000 years old.
scientists knew that it belonged to a woman as it was still moving.
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   Old Thread  #2006 4 Nov 2013 at 9.33pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My boss gave me a 4m roll of buble wrap so i asked what he would like me to do with it.
He said 'pop it in the corner'
It took me 4 bloody hours!
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   Old Thread  #2005 4 Nov 2013 at 4.52pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2002
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   Old Thread  #2004 4 Nov 2013 at 4.49pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Sometimes I like to hide my wife's inhaler.so the neighbours think I'm a stallion when they hear her panting " ******* give it to me."
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   Old Thread  #2003 31 Oct 2013 at 7.28pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I bought the wife some crutch less knickers for Halloween.not for sexual purposes but so that she has a better grip on her broomstick!
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   Old Thread  #2002 31 Oct 2013 at 3.51pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The new royal baby,George has already done 3 things off every mans bucket list.

1.become a billionaire
2.met the Queen.
3. Sucked Kate Middletons Tits
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   Old Thread  #2001 30 Oct 2013 at 6.39pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Funny

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   Old Thread  #2000 29 Oct 2013 at 10.52pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1999
cracker
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   Old Thread  #1999 29 Oct 2013 at 8.25pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1998
My son asked me how babies are made.I had no idea how to approach it so I looked online and found a video that explains it all.
At the end of the video I told him "it's basically just like that,only the white stuff on her face should have gone up her fanny,and normally there isn't a horse involved".
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   Old Thread  #1998 28 Oct 2013 at 8.13am  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Am visiting my sick Uncle in hospital,he's in the morgue,having a ****
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   Old Thread  #1997 28 Oct 2013 at 8.10am  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The missus wants something in silk for christmas......No doubt this tin of emulsion will be the wrong colour.
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   Old Thread  #1996 28 Oct 2013 at 8.05am  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
paddy sees Murphy in hospital with two bandaged feet.Paddy asks "what have you done? Murphy replies"its f**king Morrisons again!!! I bought a sponge pudding for my tea and it said pierce the tin and stand in boiling water for ten minutes.
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