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 #1972 28 Sept 2013 at 11.22am | |   |
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In reply to Post #1971
Funny how it's, OK to make jokes about Catholics, the Pope, Jews, Christians, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians) etc etc, but its insensitive to make jokes about Muslims. The sooner we are all on same level playing field the better.
1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor, You may be a Muslim.
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes, You may be a Muslim.
3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim.
4. If you wipe your bum with your bare hand but consider bacon to be unclean, You may be a Muslim.
5. If you think vests come in two styles: Bullet-proof and suicide. You may be a Muslim
6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared jihad against, You may be a Muslim.
7. If you consider television dangerous but routinely carry explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim.
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim.
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four, You may be a Muslim
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#1971 27 Sept 2013 at 9.24pm | | |
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It's not a recession until your internet is cut off and you have to masturbate to the woman in a red bikini on the Special K box.
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#1970 15 Sept 2013 at 5.21pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1959
better not do that one
The waiter served my soup, i said you have your thumb in my soup, ..............i have arthritis and the doctor told me to keep it warm.............then why don't you stick it up your a***..............i do when i'm in the kitchen  
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#1969 15 Sept 2013 at 12.49pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1948
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#1968 15 Sept 2013 at 12.47pm | | |
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lying in bed last night i looked into my wifes eyes and said , you remind me of the lottery
she said , is it coz im worth millions to you
i said no........... its coz i wish youd ****ing roll over
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#1967 11 Sept 2013 at 1.38pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1966
Those same TOTs have been onto the KW help line and text "stop Kevin stop" 
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#1966 10 Sept 2013 at 10.31pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1965
kevin webster called in to the rovers on his way home today-fancied a couple of tots apparently
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#1965 10 Sept 2013 at 7.38pm | | |
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#1964 9 Sept 2013 at 9.21pm | | |
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A young mans body was pulled out of the thames, he had a pair of stockings, high heels,with a cucumber stuck in his rectum, oh and henwasnwearing a Tottenham shirt, but to save the family any extra trauma or embarrassment the local police removed the shirt.
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#1963 6 Sept 2013 at 7.20pm | | |
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Summer is officially coming to an end and you know what that means....All you half naked ladies are going to have to find a personality.
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#1962 5 Sept 2013 at 3.15am | | |
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In reply to Post #1961
A dwarf gets on an elevator and pushes the button to go up, just before the door closes, a hand comes through and opens the door. In steps a very large black man. The dwarf stares and says "You're the biggest man I have ever seen". The man nods his head, and replies "I'm 6-9, weigh 259 lbs., and I have 16 inches, I'm Turner Brown." The dwarf faints! After coming too, the dwarf asks the man to repeat himself. So he does, "I said I'm 6 - 9, 259 lbs., with 16 inches, my name is Turner Brown." The dwarf looked relieved and started laughing. "For a minute there, I thought you said 'Turn Around'."
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#1961 2 Sept 2013 at 10.51pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1946
2 ladies of the night in Soho..........allo luv you ad a good night then............well yeah i suppose so i've been up and down my stairs 12 times.............ooh your poor feet.
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#1960 2 Sept 2013 at 10.43pm | | |
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David Moyes reportedly trying to bring Fergie in to negotiate some extra time.
#TransferDeadlineDay
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#1959 1 Sept 2013 at 8.33pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1951
Haven't heard that one for years, the tears were running down my legs
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#1958 1 Sept 2013 at 6.03pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1957
I woke for the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a Muslim sneaking through next door's garden.
Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.
He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.
Astonished I got back into bed.
My wife said, 'darling you're shaking, what is it?’
'You'll never believe what I've just seen' I said,
“That ******* next door has still got my shovel'.
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