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   Old Thread  #2207 31 Jan 2015 at 2.25pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2206
Go on then
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   Old Thread  #2206 30 Jan 2015 at 8.05am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2205
Joke free year this year or something..?!
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   Old Thread  #2205 31 Dec 2014 at 10.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2204 31 Dec 2014 at 2.45pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time.

She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see Dr. Chang, the well-known Chinese sex therapist, so she went to see him.

Upon entering the examination room, Dr. Chang said, "OK, take off all you crose." The woman did as she was told. "Now, get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room." Again, the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said, "OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me." So she did.

Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said, "Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary Disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates."

Worried, the woman asked anxiously, "Oh my God, Dr. Chang, what is Ed Zachary Disease?"

Dr. Chang looked the woman in the eye and replied,

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"Ed Zachary Disease is when your face rook Ed Zachary rike your ass."
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   Old Thread  #2203 29 Dec 2014 at 8.49am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2202 28 Dec 2014 at 10.39am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A nun is stopped in her car by the police, she winds down the window the cop winds down his zip, "Oh no" she said "not the Breathalyzer again"
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   Old Thread  #2201 23 Dec 2014 at 10.57am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2199
I went to the Doctor today and said I keep getting ignored, he shouts NEXT.
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   Old Thread  #2200 20 Dec 2014 at 9.04pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A lady go's into a butchers and asks for a duck, yes madam said the young man, he puts the duck on the counter, she sticks her finger up its arse then examines her finger and says that's not an Aylesbury duck, oh sorry madam I''ll see if we have one out the back, he returns with another duck, she does the same again, ah that's better I always have an Aylesbury duck when I come to this shop, you must be new here where are you from? the lad drops his strdes bends over and say's "your the expert you tell me"
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   Old Thread  #2199 19 Dec 2014 at 7.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2197


I went to the doctors today and he asked me if I drink to excess.

I told him I'll drink to ****ing anything
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   Old Thread  #2198 17 Dec 2014 at 9.50pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!

Two Polish hunters got a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose.
The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both...and he had exactly the same airplane as yours."
Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded.
However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Zbyshek and Vladek survived the crash.
After climbing out of the wreckage, Zbyshek asked, "Any idea where we are?"
Vladek replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
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   Old Thread  #2197 17 Dec 2014 at 9.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!

Cherie Blair is touring the countryside in a chauffeur-driven car.
Suddenly, a cow jumps out into the road, they hit it full on and
the car comes to a stop.
Cherie, in her usual charming manner, says to the chauffeur:
'You get out and check - you were driving.
'The chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is
dead.
'You were driving; go and tell the farmer, ' says Cherie
Five hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair
ruffled with a big grin on his face.
'My goodness, what happened to you?' asks Cherie.
The chauffeur replies: ' When I got there, the farmer opened
his best bottle of malt whiskey, the wife gave me a slap-up
meal and the daughter made love to me. '
'What on earth did you say?' asks Cherie. ' I knocked on the
door, and when it was answered, I said to them:
' I'm Cherie Blair's chauffeur and I've just killed the cow.
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   Old Thread  #2196 15 Dec 2014 at 7.04pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A guy and his dog walks into the departure lounge at Heathrow airport and sits near another guy, "are you taking your dog on the plane"? No, he is a sniffer dog and I am a police officer and we're working, the dog walks off and sits next to a young man then comes back and taps the cop once on his foot, the other guy asks "what doe's that mean"? he's found MARIJUANA, the dog go's off again and sits next to another guy then comes back and taps the cop twice, "has he found more MARIJUANA"? no this time he found COCAINE, the dog go's out again then rushes back jumps up onto the seat and has a massive dump, the other guy say's Jeeeeeees what's that all about? he found a BOMB.
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   Old Thread  #2195 9 Dec 2014 at 10.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2187
Hahaha
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   Old Thread  #2194 27 Nov 2014 at 10.29pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2192
Bet it made her toes curl
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   Old Thread  #2193 27 Nov 2014 at 10.10pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
TEACHER: Billie , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your
brother's..

Did you copy his?

BILLIE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
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