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 #2253 24 Mar 2015 at 11.17pm | |   |
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In reply to Post #2252
 
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#2252 24 Mar 2015 at 7.07pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2251
Brought myself satellite tv today,
Saving up for a rocket now so I can watch it
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#2251 23 Mar 2015 at 7.53pm | | |
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A dyslexic pimp just bought a warehouse 
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#2250 22 Mar 2015 at 8.13pm | | |
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A bloke from a building site went into the pub, says to the barman....we just dug up a skeleton of a woman, barman asks how do you know it was a woman, the mouth was still open.
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#2249 22 Mar 2015 at 10.52am | | |
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In reply to Post #2248
Cracker
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#2248 22 Mar 2015 at 5.04am | | |
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Went around to a friends house today. His wife was sat there with their newborn
baby. She asked if I'd like to wind it.... I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave
it a dead leg instead.
Tel
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#2247 22 Mar 2015 at 1.06am | | |
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The lead actor in the local pantomime, Aladdin, was sexually abused from behind on
stage last night. To be fair the audience did try to warn him
Tel
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#2246 21 Mar 2015 at 2.56pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2243
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#2245 20 Mar 2015 at 5.17pm | | |
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I was at a cashpoint yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her
balance. Not being one to disappoint I pushed the old dear over.
Tel
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#2244 20 Mar 2015 at 5.10pm | | |
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I got some new aftershave today that smells like breadcrumbs. The birds love it!
Tel
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#2243 20 Mar 2015 at 5.09pm | | |
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A Scottish paedophile has raised a dispute with eBay. He claims that the Wii GameBoy
he received isn't what he was expecting.
Boom Boom
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#2242 18 Mar 2015 at 8.02pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2241
A woman goes to the opticians for an eye test, the optician covers her left eye and says read the letters on the chart, she says sorry I can't read any of them, so he covers her right eye and says can you read any of them now, no I'm sorry I can't see any at all, he unzips his fly and unleashes the beast and says can you see that, oh yes I can see that alright, that's your problem then, what!! your cock eyed
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#2241 17 Mar 2015 at 10.39pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2239
Paddys in court on a armed robbery charge , the jury return to give their verdict .
Not guilty , says the judge .
Excellent shouts paddy , does that mean I can keep the money
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#2240 17 Mar 2015 at 10.36pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2239
Two paddys leave a bar .................... Well , it could happen
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#2239 17 Mar 2015 at 10.01pm | | |
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two men on the 8.15 train from Reading to London, after a while one says that's it done the Times crossword as he folds his newspaper, the other man says I'm stuck on 7 across, female relation, 4 letters ending with UNT, why it's AUNT of course, just then a vicar pops his head round the seat and says anyone got a rubber?
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