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In reply to Post #2379
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I saw a woman coming out of a building chanting "I MUST I MUST IMPROVE MY BUST" I said to her what's this all about, she said its a new type of enlargement therapy, I thought I would investigate, as I went into the lobby a guy came out chanting "HICKORY DICKORY DOCK
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In reply to Post #2377
Wife says to husband what would you say if you caught me in bed with your best friend
I'd call you a lesbian
no no what if it was a mas, what would you do I'd kick his guide dog
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2 New Years Resolutions:
- Wash hands after taking a sh1t at work.
- Improve on my Big Mac preparation time.
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In reply to Post #2375
Bloke says to his missus , why don't you tell me when you've had an orgasm?
She says , because I don't like ringing you at work
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In reply to Post #2374
Why did Adele cross the road,
To say hello from the other side
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In reply to Post #2373
stick that on the footy thread and get lashed
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In reply to Post #2372
Dennis law was asked yesterday if his team would beat this current man Utd side, yeah , 1-0 was
His reply.
When he was asked why would it only be 1-0 , his reply was , because we're all in our 70's now 
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What do transvesdites do at Christmas?
A> eat,drink,and be Mary
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In reply to Post #2369
My cracker joke . My phone only works in church , it's pray as you go
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In reply to Post #2369
CRACKERS!!!!!! CRACKERS!!!!!! who's cracker's
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i suppose you lot will be getting some new material for here now the cracker season is upon us 
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In reply to Post #2366
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Just bought some sage & onion flavoured condoms. Should come in handy if I find a plump bird that wants stuffing...
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In reply to Post #1
The night before Christmas
Throughout the house
We were all ****ed
Even the mouse
Dad at the brothel
Mum with uncle frank
I settled down
For a nice slow w&nk
Outside the house
I heard a right clatter
I let go of my cock
To see what was the matter
Out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew right away
It was old st Nick
He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
The big fat ****er
I think he fell
He filled all our stockings
With sweets and beer
And a big rubber cock
For my brother the queer
He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
The big fat ****
Blew the house apart
He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight
Shouting I'll be back next year
Have a hell of a night
Merry xmas fellow jesters
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NON Carp stuff