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   Old Thread  #2371 26 Dec 2015 at 0.06am  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2369
My cracker joke . My phone only works in church , it's pray as you go
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   Old Thread  #2370 25 Dec 2015 at 5.49pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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CRACKERS!!!!!! CRACKERS!!!!!! who's cracker's
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   Old Thread  #2369 24 Dec 2015 at 6.05am  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
i suppose you lot will be getting some new material for here now the cracker season is upon us
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   Old Thread  #2368 23 Dec 2015 at 10.20pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2367 23 Dec 2015 at 8.49pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Just bought some sage & onion flavoured condoms. Should come in handy if I find a plump bird that wants stuffing...
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   Old Thread  #2366 23 Dec 2015 at 6.17pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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The night before Christmas
Throughout the house
We were all ****ed
Even the mouse
Dad at the brothel
Mum with uncle frank
I settled down
For a nice slow w&nk
Outside the house
I heard a right clatter
I let go of my cock
To see what was the matter
Out on the lawn
I saw a big dick
I knew right away
It was old st Nick
He came down the chimney
Like a bat out of hell
The big fat ****er
I think he fell
He filled all our stockings
With sweets and beer
And a big rubber cock
For my brother the queer
He rose up the chimney
With a thunderous fart
The big fat ****
Blew the house apart
He swore and he cursed
As he rode out of sight
Shouting I'll be back next year
Have a hell of a night

Merry xmas fellow jesters
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   Old Thread  #2365 20 Dec 2015 at 7.47pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2364 20 Dec 2015 at 7.13pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Spammer
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   Old Thread  #2363 20 Dec 2015 at 12.44pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
As the sad news of Jimmy Hill's death was announced today, it was also revealed that the pantomime he was appearing in has been cancelled out of respect.

Tickets for Chinderella can be refunded at the box office.

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   Old Thread  #2362 19 Dec 2015 at 1.37pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister." "That's a disgrace," said the priest," especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."
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   Old Thread  #2361 19 Dec 2015 at 12.24pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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A good start Nic, welcome to the forum
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   Old Thread  #2360 18 Dec 2015 at 10.17pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Little Joey's confession


Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl. The priest asks, Is

that you, little Joey Pagano? Yes, Father, it is. And who was the girl you were with?

I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation. Well, Joey, I'm sure to

find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti? I

cannot say. Was it Teresa Mazzarelli? I'll never tell. Was it Nina Capelli? I'm

sorry, but I cannot name her. Was it Cathy Piriano? My lips are sealed. Was it Rosa

DiAngelo, then? Please, Father! I cannot tell you. The priest sighs in frustration.

You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You

cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself. Joey walks back

to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, What'd you get? Four months

vacation and five good leads...

Great jokes ... you can share them with my friends at nodepositforum.com if you like, that

is where I found this one, Ill bring you some more later.
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   Old Thread  #2359 18 Dec 2015 at 4.52pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The teacher said.....well class I asked you to bring something into school that is associated with Christmas, Sarah! what did you bring? some tinsel miss, we put it on our tree this time of year, well done, James! what about you? I brought a Christmas pudding which we only eat at Christmas miss, very good James, teacher spots Billie with a plastic bag, bring out you item Billie, she opens the bag and takes out a G string, rather embarrassed she says....Billie what on earth have these got to do with Christmas? they're Carols miss
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   Old Thread  #2358 14 Dec 2015 at 3.52pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Dad cooks a deer and doesn't tell the kids what it is.
He said I'll give you a clue , it's what your mother calls me .
The little boy shouts out , it's a ****ing dick , don't eat it
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   Old Thread  #2357 13 Dec 2015 at 1.44pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2356
My doctor told me that half a bottle of wine at night was bad for me.
I make sure I finish it now
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