|
|
|
|
 #45 10 Mar 2012 at 7.51pm | |  |   |
|
In reply to Post #42
I was watching a film with my little boy. He said "dad, I'm getting scared, is that lady going to die"? I said "probably son, judging by the size of that horses cock"....
|
|
|
|
|
#44 10 Mar 2012 at 2.15pm | | | |
|
In reply to Post #42
|
|
|
|
|
#43 10 Mar 2012 at 12.47pm | | | |
|
|
|
|
|
#42 10 Mar 2012 at 7.46am | | | |
|
|
My girlfriend said bringing toys into the bedroom would spice up our sex lives... So I double fisted her with a set of Hulk Hands.
|
|
|
|
As my wife regained consciousness after a six month coma, the doctor said:
"She's awake sir, you can speak to her."
"Ok" I said, "I'll ask you again, and this time I want the truth... where were you 'til midnight?"
|
|
|
|
|
#40 8 Mar 2012 at 12.54pm | | | |
|
In reply to Post #39
Travelling on the tube this morning I was eyeing up this fit bird.
she tagged me and said
"What are you looking at"
I replied "8 to 16 years depending on how much you struggle"
|
|
|
|
|
I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day. Apparently, "A meal for two with a terrible view" isn't the best way to announce number 69!
|
|
|
|
|
To the lady driving in front of me, putting on make-up with one hand and texting with the other, please stop hitting your brake.... you're going to make me spill my beer.
|
|
|
|
A lorry has arrived in London loaded with barbed wire and wooden posts.................................
turns out to be the Irish Olympic fencing team 
i would just like to say that i hope the reference to irish ethnic origin isnt construde as being a racist slur against that great country and its people 
|
|
|
|
|
Since January 2011, Fernando Torres has had more managers than goals.
|
|
|
|
TEXTING for over 40s
The kids have all their little SMS codes, like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. So here are some codes for the more matured.....
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kickin In!
|
|
|
|
|
To save time and money, Chelsea have sacked their next manager too.
|
|
|
|
|
'Sheffield Wednesday appoint Dave Jones as their new manager.'Sounds like a busy week for him... Considering he died on Wednesday.
|
|
|
|
|
Went to a fancy dress party last weekend as a loaf of bread... f**k me the birds were all over me
|
|
|
|
|
A lottery winner, from London, hassaid he wants to buy west ham, Though he states "I would have chosen abigger club if I had got more than threenumbers".
|
|
