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 #52 15 Mar 2012 at 8.01pm | |   |
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Message Suppressed by Forum Moderator.
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#51 15 Mar 2012 at 7.42pm | | |
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I stopped my car beside a prostitute last night.
As she got in I asked, "How much for a blow job?"
She said, "Thirty quid."
I said, "Can you do twenty?"
"Yeah, okay" she replied.
I said, "Great, here's £600 then."
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#50 13 Mar 2012 at 6.17pm | | |
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My doctor was checking my balls for any lumps the other day.
It got awkward when I ran my fingers through his hair.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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#49 11 Mar 2012 at 2.29pm | | |
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I was chatting to the girl sitting next to me on the train this morning.For some reason, I couldn't understand a single word that was coming out of her tits
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#48 11 Mar 2012 at 2.28pm | | |
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A new sex study shows the 'doggie style' position is the most used by married couples . Husband sits up and begs. Wife rolls over and plays dead
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#47 11 Mar 2012 at 2.27pm | | |
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This big girl walked over to me at the bar, lifted her leg up onto my stool and seductively showed me a tattoo that went up her inner thigh.What dya think? She said.My ex had one of them so i dumped her.What? A tattoo?No, i mean a fat belly
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#46 11 Mar 2012 at 2.26pm | | |
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I went to a sex shop and the lady behind the counter said "Hello, the S&M section is just over there."So I nodded my head. I would have thanked her but I had my gimp mask on at the time
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#45 10 Mar 2012 at 7.51pm | | |
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In reply to Post #42
I was watching a film with my little boy. He said "dad, I'm getting scared, is that lady going to die"? I said "probably son, judging by the size of that horses cock"....
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#44 10 Mar 2012 at 2.15pm | | |
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In reply to Post #42
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#43 10 Mar 2012 at 12.47pm | | |
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#42 10 Mar 2012 at 7.46am | | |
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My girlfriend said bringing toys into the bedroom would spice up our sex lives... So I double fisted her with a set of Hulk Hands.
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As my wife regained consciousness after a six month coma, the doctor said:
"She's awake sir, you can speak to her."
"Ok" I said, "I'll ask you again, and this time I want the truth... where were you 'til midnight?"
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#40 8 Mar 2012 at 12.54pm | | |
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In reply to Post #39
Travelling on the tube this morning I was eyeing up this fit bird.
she tagged me and said
"What are you looking at"
I replied "8 to 16 years depending on how much you struggle"
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I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day. Apparently, "A meal for two with a terrible view" isn't the best way to announce number 69!
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To the lady driving in front of me, putting on make-up with one hand and texting with the other, please stop hitting your brake.... you're going to make me spill my beer.
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