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As my wife regained consciousness after a six month coma, the doctor said:
"She's awake sir, you can speak to her."
"Ok" I said, "I'll ask you again, and this time I want the truth... where were you 'til midnight?"
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 #40 8 Mar 2012 at 12.54pm | |   |
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In reply to Post #39
Travelling on the tube this morning I was eyeing up this fit bird.
she tagged me and said
"What are you looking at"
I replied "8 to 16 years depending on how much you struggle"
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I got sacked from my job as a bingo caller the other day. Apparently, "A meal for two with a terrible view" isn't the best way to announce number 69!
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To the lady driving in front of me, putting on make-up with one hand and texting with the other, please stop hitting your brake.... you're going to make me spill my beer.
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A lorry has arrived in London loaded with barbed wire and wooden posts.................................
turns out to be the Irish Olympic fencing team 
i would just like to say that i hope the reference to irish ethnic origin isnt construde as being a racist slur against that great country and its people 
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Since January 2011, Fernando Torres has had more managers than goals.
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TEXTING for over 40s
The kids have all their little SMS codes, like BFF, WTF, LOL etc. So here are some codes for the more matured.....
ATD - At the Doctor's
BFF - Best Friends Funeral
BTW - Bring the Wheelchair
FWIW - Forgot Where I Was
GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low
GHA - Got Heartburn Again
HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?
WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?
GGLKI - Gotta Go, Laxative Kickin In!
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To save time and money, Chelsea have sacked their next manager too.
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'Sheffield Wednesday appoint Dave Jones as their new manager.'Sounds like a busy week for him... Considering he died on Wednesday.
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Went to a fancy dress party last weekend as a loaf of bread... f**k me the birds were all over me
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A lottery winner, from London, hassaid he wants to buy west ham, Though he states "I would have chosen abigger club if I had got more than threenumbers".
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In reply to Post #23
No, i wouldnt want my kids wife etc in here.... But thats why its a Forum for members.... Thus keeping my mum from here because she's not part of this social group
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As a struggling actor I was thrilled when my agent phoned with an audition.
"The part's made for you," he said. "They want someone your age, height and build with an accent like yours, and it's being filmed about 5 minutes from your house."
"It sounds perfect!" I replied excitedly. "What is it?"
"It's a Crimewatch rape reconstruction."
"Erm... No... I'm busy that day..."
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In reply to Post #24
i was surprised that the forum didnt moderate them and allow the thread to continue
We have a busy enough time Moderating the Classifieds as well as the rest of the forum so to spend ages ploughing through toilet humour would not be welcome.
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In reply to Post #23
very true, Ken. i couldnt believe some of the jokes that were posted in this thread. although some of the more dodgy jokes may have been funny, i was surprised that the forum didnt moderate them and allow the thread to continue. it kind of snowballed, up to the point where the whole lot got chopped.
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