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 #2428 22 Mar 2016 at 10.25pm | |   |
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In reply to Post #2417
I don't get it....
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#2427 18 Mar 2016 at 5.54pm | | |
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What's the difference between three cocks and a joke .?
You're mum can't take a joke 
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#2426 7 Mar 2016 at 4.53pm | | |
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A three foot midget go's into the gent's public toilet and points Percy to the porcelain, in walked a giant of a man with a twitch, after a minute or so the big guy looked down to the little guy and said isn't it funny you have the same affliction as me, the little guy looked up and said "affliction be buggered, every time you twitch you keep pissing in my ear".
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#2425 5 Mar 2016 at 12.10pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2423
 
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#2424 5 Mar 2016 at 7.29am | | |
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In reply to Post #2423
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#2423 5 Mar 2016 at 7.00am | | |
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In reply to Post #1
Q. Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus ?.
A. Your wIfe will always "blow" your bonus!!
Tel
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#2422 27 Feb 2016 at 9.20pm | | |
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All the following spoken in a west country farmers voice
Farmer Brown!
Yes farmer piles Giles
I hear you have a very rare pig, the same as me,
That's right I do, why do you ask?
If we get them together to mate, their offspring will earn us a fortune,
Right, mine is a male so to conserve his energy for the boncking session you bring your girl over to my farm in the morning
farmer Giles put her in a wheel barrow and off they go,
the deed was done
next morning
is she up the duff?
how do I tell?
she will be laying on her back with two feet in the air.
Oh no she's standing.
ok bring her back in the morning.
this go's on for a week
on the last day
is she laying on her back.....
No!
what's she doing
she's in the wheel barrow with a big grin on her face.
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#2421 26 Feb 2016 at 7.50pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1
What's the difference between a hippo and Zippo?
One's a heavyweight, the other is a little lighter 
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#2420 23 Feb 2016 at 6.17pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl.
I’m six-foot tall, 14-stone blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
The woman to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.”
“Now seriously, Mister, do you still want to tell that joke?”
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
“No …. not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times”.
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#2419 22 Feb 2016 at 1.11pm | | |
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An East London girl runs home to mum crying , mum asks what's the matter?
My new boyfriend says I've got East end tits and West end hips,
Don't worry about that your dad had a Whopping cock and a Barking arse and we're still together
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#2418 20 Feb 2016 at 3.48pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1
Dear Agony Aunt:
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning and when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating!
Also, since he lost his job 15 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one.
All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot pool with his buddies and has sex with hookers while I work so hard to pay our bills.
Since our daughter went away to college and then got married; he doesn't even pretend to like me, and hints that I may be a lesbian.
What should I do?
Signed: Clueless
Dear Clueless:
Grow up and dump him. You don't need him anymore! Good grief woman, you're running for President of the United States!
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#2417 19 Feb 2016 at 9.29pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2416
What do you call a man with no shins................................................
Tony!!!!
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#2416 18 Feb 2016 at 1.42pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2415
Which of the following names are you familiar with?
1. Monica Lewinski
2. Tony Blair
3. Robert Mugabe
4. Jeremy Corbyn
5. Jorge Bergoglio
6. Winnie Mandela
7. Vladimir Putin
8. Linda Lovelace
9. Sepp Blatter
You had trouble with #5.......Typical, you know the criminals, murderers,
thieves, sluts, liars and cheats, but you don’t know the Pope!
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#2415 17 Feb 2016 at 7.17pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2414
What weighs 18 stone and rides a Derby winner.
Adam johnsons soon to be cell mate
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#2414 17 Feb 2016 at 12.55pm | | |
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My mate , who is dyslexic is on a new water , he's just text me that he's had a 23lb Crap
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