CarpForum - Fishing Forum
  Already registered? [Log-In]  New user? [Register]

Want 11,000+ anglers a day to see your product or service?  Click HERE to see how
Home Who's Online Member List Gallery Downloads Fish Ins Weather
Rules / Usage Help / FAQs Search Articles The Carp Shop
  New Posts: 0
   Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register] 
elltell is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of elltell (Terry)
Contact details supplied to MODs
elltell
Posts: 1117
   Old Thread  #2453 18 Apr 2016 at 9.05pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2452
Well it made me chuckle when I had it arrive on my phone, almost as much as reading the football thread on here😂😂😂😂😂😂
Tel
ralph69 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of ralph69 (John)
Contact details supplied to MODs
ralph69
Posts: 10194
   Old Thread  #2452 18 Apr 2016 at 6.14pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2449
That's quality
luckyjim has used site within the last 5 mins
View the profile of luckyjim (David)
Contact details supplied to MODs
luckyjim
Posts: 3399
   Old Thread  #2451 18 Apr 2016 at 3.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2449
lincs-carper is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of lincs-carper (Steve)
lincs-carper
Posts: 696
   Old Thread  #2450 18 Apr 2016 at 1.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2449
elltell is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of elltell (Terry)
Contact details supplied to MODs
elltell
Posts: 1117
   Old Thread  #2449 18 Apr 2016 at 12.18pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1
Little Johnny was in the classroom bored to the back teeth on a Friday afternoon, and the teacher decided to have a game for the kids to get them thinking.

“Okay class. Now I'm going to say a famous quote, and the first person to tell me who said that quote, can have Monday off.” said the teacher.


'Who is credited with writing the phrase, 'To be or not to be, that is the question’?” asked the teacher.

Little Pham Lam Nguyen at the front of the class called out, 'Shakespeare'.

'Well done!' said the teacher, 'You can have Monday off.”

'No thank you Miss. I am of Vietnamese origin and it is in our culture to study as hard as we can, so I will be here on Monday studying hard.' said Little Pham Lam Nguyen.

'Well okay,' said the teacher.

The next quote is, “I had a dream!”

Little Fri Sum Kat also at the front yelled out “I bereiva it was Martin Ruther King!”

“Well done!” said the teacher. 'You can have Monday off”

“No thanka you miss I am of Chinese oligin and we also do not take time offa school. Education is evelything to us, so I will be in on Monday studying hard too.” said little Fri Sum Kat.

'Okay,' said the teacher.

Then she heard a voice from the back of the classroom, “bloody Asians!”

“Who said that?” yelled the teacher in an angry tone.

“Donald Trump!” yelled little Johnny. “See ya Tuesday ………..”

storer123 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of storer123 (Sam)
Contact details supplied to MODs
storer123
Posts: 715
   Old Thread  #2448 17 Apr 2016 at 10.55am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2447
lincs-carper is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of lincs-carper (Steve)
lincs-carper
Posts: 696
   Old Thread  #2447 17 Apr 2016 at 9.39am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1
Two blokes walking through a jungle when they see a crocodile with a blokes head sticking out of its mouth. One says to his mate, look at that flash barsteward hes only got a lacoste sleeping bag
luckyjim has used site within the last 5 mins
View the profile of luckyjim (David)
Contact details supplied to MODs
luckyjim
Posts: 3399
   Old Thread  #2446 16 Apr 2016 at 11.41pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Mick goes in to a flag shop to get a flag for the queen's birthday, bejazzus oy'll have a green union jack says Mick, the assistant is in tears with laughter and says they are red,white and blue, OK says Mick oy'll have a blue one
Delboy1977 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Delboy1977 (Dale)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Delboy1977
Posts: 253
   Old Thread  #2445 13 Apr 2016 at 9.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2442
ralph69 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of ralph69 (John)
Contact details supplied to MODs
ralph69
Posts: 10194
   Old Thread  #2444 13 Apr 2016 at 9.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2443
luckyjim has used site within the last 5 mins
View the profile of luckyjim (David)
Contact details supplied to MODs
luckyjim
Posts: 3399
   Old Thread  #2443 13 Apr 2016 at 9.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Paddy gets the sack for doing the worst bricklaying on the site, he says to the gaffer I have a wife and 4 kids to support please keep me on, I can't afford to says the gaffer, OK OK says Paddy if I show you a wall that is worse than that will you keep me on? yeah ok I suppose so, Paddy shows him a wall that is pissed in every direction, jeeeeze says the gaffer that's really bad you can keep your job, oh thanks boss, by the way says the boss who did that? Paddy says I did.......
ralph69 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of ralph69 (John)
Contact details supplied to MODs
ralph69
Posts: 10194
   Old Thread  #2442 13 Apr 2016 at 7.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Bloke next door , who I don't like asked how many rolls of wallpaper I bought for my lounge .
Twelve , I replied .
Next time I saw him he said , I got twelve and had six left over.
I said , so did I
lincs-carper is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of lincs-carper (Steve)
lincs-carper
Posts: 696
   Old Thread  #2441 7 Apr 2016 at 11.20am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1
Women are like parking spaces. When all the good ones are gone and when no one's looking, stick it in a disabled one.
Tony59 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Tony59 (Tony)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Tony59
Posts: 1644
   Old Thread  #2440 31 Mar 2016 at 1.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2439
Wah - that censor thing works a bit too well!
Tony59 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Tony59 (Tony)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Tony59
Posts: 1644
   Old Thread  #2439 31 Mar 2016 at 1.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2431
I was born in S****horpe - the joke about Tony will never be as bad as the joke about S****horpe - that always seemed to appear on the inside of the loo doors.
If Typhoo put the T in Britain - Who put the **** in S****horpe.
Page: 17 of 180  
  
  © Copyright 2002-2021  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk