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   Old Thread  #2447 17 Apr 2016 at 9.39am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Two blokes walking through a jungle when they see a crocodile with a blokes head sticking out of its mouth. One says to his mate, look at that flash barsteward hes only got a lacoste sleeping bag
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   Old Thread  #2446 16 Apr 2016 at 11.41pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Mick goes in to a flag shop to get a flag for the queen's birthday, bejazzus oy'll have a green union jack says Mick, the assistant is in tears with laughter and says they are red,white and blue, OK says Mick oy'll have a blue one
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   Old Thread  #2445 13 Apr 2016 at 9.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2444 13 Apr 2016 at 9.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2443 13 Apr 2016 at 9.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Paddy gets the sack for doing the worst bricklaying on the site, he says to the gaffer I have a wife and 4 kids to support please keep me on, I can't afford to says the gaffer, OK OK says Paddy if I show you a wall that is worse than that will you keep me on? yeah ok I suppose so, Paddy shows him a wall that is pissed in every direction, jeeeeze says the gaffer that's really bad you can keep your job, oh thanks boss, by the way says the boss who did that? Paddy says I did.......
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   Old Thread  #2442 13 Apr 2016 at 7.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Bloke next door , who I don't like asked how many rolls of wallpaper I bought for my lounge .
Twelve , I replied .
Next time I saw him he said , I got twelve and had six left over.
I said , so did I
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   Old Thread  #2441 7 Apr 2016 at 11.20am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Women are like parking spaces. When all the good ones are gone and when no one's looking, stick it in a disabled one.
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   Old Thread  #2440 31 Mar 2016 at 1.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Wah - that censor thing works a bit too well!
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   Old Thread  #2439 31 Mar 2016 at 1.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I was born in S****horpe - the joke about Tony will never be as bad as the joke about S****horpe - that always seemed to appear on the inside of the loo doors.
If Typhoo put the T in Britain - Who put the **** in S****horpe.
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   Old Thread  #2438 31 Mar 2016 at 6.31am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2437 29 Mar 2016 at 10.36am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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What do Adam Johnson and a tortoise have in common? They both get there before the hair
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   Old Thread  #2436 29 Mar 2016 at 10.09am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Saw this in a local paper!!!!

"This is Lexi. She's an 14-week-old German Shepherd.

I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife but it turns out she is allergic to dogs, so we are now looking to find her a new home.

She is 59 years old, a beautiful and caring woman who drives, is a great cook and keeps a good house."
Tel
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   Old Thread  #2435 26 Mar 2016 at 3.26pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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And was he ?
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   Old Thread  #2434 24 Mar 2016 at 8.36pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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As jesus was nailed to the cross, he looked down on his diciples and said...........don't ****ing touch my easter eggs, I'll be back on Sunday!
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   Old Thread  #2433 24 Mar 2016 at 8.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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