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 #2447 17 Apr 2016 at 9.39am | |   |
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In reply to Post #1
Two blokes walking through a jungle when they see a crocodile with a blokes head sticking out of its mouth. One says to his mate, look at that flash barsteward hes only got a lacoste sleeping bag
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#2446 16 Apr 2016 at 11.41pm | | |
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Mick goes in to a flag shop to get a flag for the queen's birthday, bejazzus oy'll have a green union jack says Mick, the assistant is in tears with laughter and says they are red,white and blue, OK says Mick oy'll have a blue one 
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#2445 13 Apr 2016 at 9.39pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2442
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#2444 13 Apr 2016 at 9.33pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2443
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#2443 13 Apr 2016 at 9.09pm | | |
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Paddy gets the sack for doing the worst bricklaying on the site, he says to the gaffer I have a wife and 4 kids to support please keep me on, I can't afford to says the gaffer, OK OK says Paddy if I show you a wall that is worse than that will you keep me on? yeah ok I suppose so, Paddy shows him a wall that is pissed in every direction, jeeeeze says the gaffer that's really bad you can keep your job, oh thanks boss, by the way says the boss who did that? Paddy says I did.......
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#2442 13 Apr 2016 at 7.16pm | | |
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Bloke next door , who I don't like asked how many rolls of wallpaper I bought for my lounge .
Twelve , I replied .
Next time I saw him he said , I got twelve and had six left over.
I said , so did I 
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#2441 7 Apr 2016 at 11.20am | | |
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In reply to Post #1
Women are like parking spaces. When all the good ones are gone and when no one's looking, stick it in a disabled one.
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#2440 31 Mar 2016 at 1.17pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2439
Wah - that censor thing works a bit too well!
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#2439 31 Mar 2016 at 1.16pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2431
I was born in S****horpe - the joke about Tony will never be as bad as the joke about S****horpe - that always seemed to appear on the inside of the loo doors.
If Typhoo put the T in Britain - Who put the **** in S****horpe.
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#2438 31 Mar 2016 at 6.31am | | |
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In reply to Post #2437
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#2437 29 Mar 2016 at 10.36am | | |
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In reply to Post #2436
What do Adam Johnson and a tortoise have in common? They both get there before the hair
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#2436 29 Mar 2016 at 10.09am | | |
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In reply to Post #1
Saw this in a local paper!!!!
"This is Lexi. She's an 14-week-old German Shepherd.
I bought Lexi as a surprise for my wife but it turns out she is allergic to dogs, so we are now looking to find her a new home.
She is 59 years old, a beautiful and caring woman who drives, is a great cook and keeps a good house."
 Tel
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#2435 26 Mar 2016 at 3.26pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2434
And was he ?
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#2434 24 Mar 2016 at 8.36pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1
As jesus was nailed to the cross, he looked down on his diciples and said...........don't ****ing touch my easter eggs, I'll be back on Sunday!
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#2433 24 Mar 2016 at 8.33pm | | |
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In reply to Post #2429
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