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   Old Thread  #362 20 Sept 2012 at 7.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up
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   Old Thread  #361 19 Sept 2012 at 9.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1
I came home to find my Thai wife shagging the postman.

He was bent over the kitchen table with the tears streaming down his cheeks.
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   Old Thread  #360 19 Sept 2012 at 11.10am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'


The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,

'No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!!!
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   Old Thread  #359 19 Sept 2012 at 6.27am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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belter!!
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   Old Thread  #358 19 Sept 2012 at 0.17am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
"Scientists reveal there are fewer than one hundred adult cod in the whole North Sea."

Clearly the Cod population has taken a battering...
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   Old Thread  #357 19 Sept 2012 at 0.14am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
It's a good job Apple didn't invent bread.

They'd ruin the person that first sliced it.

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   Old Thread  #356 18 Sept 2012 at 5.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #355 18 Sept 2012 at 9.56am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!


















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   Old Thread  #354 18 Sept 2012 at 9.55am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!


An Englishman is having breakfast in Paris one morning (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when a Frenchman, chewing bubble-gum, sits down next to him. The Englishman ignores the Frenchman who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

Frenchman: "You English folk eat the whole bread??"

Englishman (in a bad mood): "Of course."


Frenchman: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In France , we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants and sell them to England ." The Frenchman has a smirk on his face.

The Englishman listens in silence.

The Frenchman persists: "Do you eat jam with the bread??"

Englishman: "Of Course."

Frenchman: (cracking his bubble-gum between his teeth and chuckling).

"We don't. In France we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and sell the jam to England ."

After a moment of silence, The Englishman then asks: "Do you have sex in France ?"

Frenchman: "Why of course we do", he says with a big smirk.

Englishman: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

Frenchman: "We throw them away, of course."

Englishman: "We don't. In England , we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into bubble-gum, and sell them to France ."

















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   Old Thread  #353 18 Sept 2012 at 6.54am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #352 17 Sept 2012 at 3.41pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Me and my flat chested wife went to a marriage guidance councellor. The bloke asked me what seems to be the problem, to which I replied "Dolly Parton here thinks I am too sarcastic".
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   Old Thread  #351 17 Sept 2012 at 5.45am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Q ~ Whats the difference between a penis and a bonus?
A ~ The wife will always blow your bonus
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   Old Thread  #350 16 Sept 2012 at 9.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #349 16 Sept 2012 at 9.12pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife started flashing her nipples trying to get into a club.

I shouted, "For ****'s sake, love, pull your skirt down!"
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   Old Thread  #348 16 Sept 2012 at 4.59pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #344
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