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 #374 28 Sept 2012 at 12.43pm | |   |
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I don't like to blow my own trumpet...but I just can't help myself since I had my bottom ribs removed.
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#373 28 Sept 2012 at 12.35pm | | |
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Sky Sports News Latest - The next 4 weekends of Premier League football are under threat as footballers struck down by a severe outbreak of diarrhoea.
They are all shi**ing themselves over John Terry's whereabouts during his 4 match ban.
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#372 27 Sept 2012 at 3.52pm | | |
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Well, whilst JT now has 4 games to sit out of he's probably gonna be bored....... If I was a Chelsea player i'd be making sure my wife/girlfriend goes overboard on the sunbeds and fake tan, he's less likely to be interested then
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#371 26 Sept 2012 at 6.55pm | | |
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In reply to Post #369
 
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#370 26 Sept 2012 at 4.26pm | | |
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In reply to Post #369
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#369 26 Sept 2012 at 4.09pm | | |
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A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side.
She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog. The fireman says "Hey little girl. What are you doing?" The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"
The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says. "Thanks mister", says the little girl. The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by it's testicles.
"Little girl", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."
The little girl says, "You're probably right mister, but then I wouldn't have a siren!"
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#368 24 Sept 2012 at 6.15pm | | |
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In reply to Post #364
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#367 23 Sept 2012 at 7.01pm | | |
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For some reeson,
I've never yet won a gaim of skrabel.
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#366 23 Sept 2012 at 7.51am | | |
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I got a rash after tipping a can of lager into my wife's fanny and then lapping it out.
The doctor's advised me against ***** drinking.
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#365 22 Sept 2012 at 11.07pm | | |
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In reply to Post #364
i wouldnt think her fannys that tight
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#364 21 Sept 2012 at 8.47pm | | |
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After sha**ing Cheryl Cole yesterday, I think there are two things you should know..
First, her fanny is tight as f**k, a real struggle to get in.
Second the staff at Madame Tussauds are miserable f**kers with no sense of humour.
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#363 21 Sept 2012 at 8.44pm | | |
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Whilst sha**ing my wife last night, I huffed, rolled off and said, "It's like f**king an inflatable sex doll."She looked at me completely shocked.
"You're not helping yourself here." I said.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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#362 20 Sept 2012 at 7.17pm | | |
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Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity.The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up
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#361 19 Sept 2012 at 9.58pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1
I came home to find my Thai wife shagging the postman.
He was bent over the kitchen table with the tears streaming down his cheeks.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#360 19 Sept 2012 at 11.10am | | |
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An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters,
'No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times!!!
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