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   Old Thread  #488 22 Oct 2012 at 5.51pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I've been going through some real money troubles. Realising this, my Gran gave me her pearl earrings. "They've been passed down through the generations," she said, "but needs must. "Great. Now I'm broke and I look super gay as well.
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   Old Thread  #487 22 Oct 2012 at 5.29pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #486 22 Oct 2012 at 5.21pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was standing in a bar and this little chinese guy comes in the pub,stands next to me and starts drinking.
I said to him "do you know any of those martial arts things like kung fu karate or ju-jitsu? He says "no why the f--k you ask me dat? is it coz i chinese? No i said its because you're drinking my pint you little c--t.
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   Old Thread  #485 19 Oct 2012 at 11.18pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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just spat cheese n crackers at me lap top
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   Old Thread  #484 19 Oct 2012 at 8.36pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Four words to dread hearing after sex....."howz about that then"
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   Old Thread  #483 19 Oct 2012 at 5.46am  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Ditto
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   Old Thread  #482 18 Oct 2012 at 9.15pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Just read this one to my wife and she thinks it sums up our relationship - bless her lol
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   Old Thread  #481 18 Oct 2012 at 8.47pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Picture edited slightly as the swear filter cannot.
but i am sure you get the drift

How many times have we been 'up there without one!'

My work is done here.

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   Old Thread  #480 18 Oct 2012 at 8.09pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I met a girl in the bar one night and after we talked for a while she started rubbing my leg and said wow you are a big lad arnt you ...well i like to think so ......now this girl had the sort of lips that you would imagine her to be able to suck a golf ball through 800 yds of garden hose. I later found out that she was from a showmans family . When we left the pub she said shall we go back to mine for sum fun ...ohhh yess .....i wnet on the dodgems twice the waltzers three times wild mouse twice and spent an hour in the haunted mansion....i was f...ed after all that
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   Old Thread  #479 18 Oct 2012 at 6.57pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #478 18 Oct 2012 at 6.50pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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got my halloween outfit.blonde wig,tracksuit,gold chain and cigar,that should scare the little f--kers
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   Old Thread  #477 18 Oct 2012 at 6.48pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
paddy says 2 Murphy "have u seen the news" 3 cliff walkers have fallen 2 their deaths"!!! unbelievable said Murphy,cant believe they all had the same name
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   Old Thread  #476 18 Oct 2012 at 4.44pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #475 18 Oct 2012 at 12.00pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #474 18 Oct 2012 at 7.27am  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife being the romantic sort,just sent me a text.........if you are sleeping.....send me your dreams.......if you are laughing.....send me your smile,if you are eating.......send me a bit,if you are drinking.....send me a sip,if you crying ....send me your tears,i love you x...i replied.....l am having a sh-t.What should i do?
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