|
|
|
|
 #528 6 Nov 2012 at 7.00am | |  |   |
|
|
I saw a teenage girl busking today. She had a great voice, and an even better pair of legs, emphasised by the short skirt she was wearing."Any requests?" She asked the watching crowd."Your thong," I replied with a wink.Everyone gasped in horror, and the girl slapped me.It's tough being an Elton John fan with a lisp.
|
|
|
|
|
#527 4 Nov 2012 at 5.11pm | | | |
|
Who am i ??
I was all over the tv in the 70s and 80s but i have been largely obscure for the past 25 years.
I am closely linked with music of the 60s.
I am famous for wearing tacky shiny shell suits and sh-t haircuts.
I have been in trouble with the police and despised by the whole country......
And the answer is...............................A Liverpool Fan.
|
|
|
|
|
#526 4 Nov 2012 at 4.14pm | | | |
|
have you been struggling to make ends meet just now?
Do your outgoings far exceed your income?
Is the cost of this Christmas be coming a f--king big worry?
Well now would be a good time indeed to say Jimmy Savile w@nked you off....
|
|
|
|
|
#525 4 Nov 2012 at 3.20pm | | | |
|
In reply to Post #523
i thought it was funny,in fact i nicked it and stuck it on facebook  some people take things too seriously it was a joke 
|
|
|
|
|
#524 3 Nov 2012 at 9.58pm | | | |
|
In reply to Post #523
thats sick mate 
|
|
|
|
|
#523 3 Nov 2012 at 7.21am | | | |
|
joke removed,due to lack of adult sense of humour,its only a joke you womble 
|
|
|
|
|
#522 2 Nov 2012 at 10.09pm | | | |
|
In reply to Post #515
breaking news......tropical storm Sandy has now been officially upgraded to 'British Summer'
|
|
|
|
|
#521 2 Nov 2012 at 9.24pm | | | |
|
I told my wife that the chemistry has gone from our relationship.
She can't get anti-depressants any more and I've run out of Viagra.
|
|
|
|
|
#520 2 Nov 2012 at 7.18am | | | |
|
I got so sick of the trick and treaters the other night that i turned out the light and pretended i'm not in.
F--k the ships.My lighthouse,my rules
|
|
|
|
|
#519 2 Nov 2012 at 7.15am | | | |
|
|
I woke up this morning and my wife was getting ready for work.I said,"that blouse is a bit see through and it needs a f--king good ironing",she glared and said, "What blouse?"
|
|
|
|
|
#518 1 Nov 2012 at 10.33pm | | | |
|
In reply to Post #512
 like alot
|
|
|
|
|
#517 1 Nov 2012 at 8.19am | | | |
|
In reply to Post #516
|
|
|
|
|
#516 1 Nov 2012 at 7.14am | | | |
|
|
Went to buy a Dracula costume for Halloween, the girl brought me a Chelsea shirt, I said I think you misheard me, I said I want to look like a Count.
|
|
|
|
|
#515 31 Oct 2012 at 5.58pm | | | |
|
In reply to Post #514
The Mayor of New York has said that the Halloween Parade will still go ahead as planned. In fact he says he is expecting a record number of floats 
|
|
|
|
|
#514 31 Oct 2012 at 8.08am | | | |
|
|
Mark Clattenburg reported by chelsea for "inappropriate Language" Apparently he called Torres a striker.
|
|
