CarpForum - Fishing Forum
  Already registered? [Log-In]  New user? [Register]

Want 11,000+ anglers a day to see your product or service?  Click HERE to see how
Home Who's Online Member List Gallery Downloads Fish Ins Weather
Rules / Usage Help / FAQs Search Articles The Carp Shop
  New Posts: 0
   Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register] 
ralph69 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of ralph69 (John)
Contact details supplied to MODs
ralph69
Posts: 10075
   Old Thread  #505 27 Oct 2012 at 11.51am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #501
WaftyCranker is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of WaftyCranker (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3442
   Old Thread  #504 27 Oct 2012 at 8.52am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Just bought the wife some crotchless knickers for Halloween. Nothing sexual. Just gives her a much better grip on her broomstick.
carpy09 has used site within the last 5 mins
View the profile of carpy09 (Chris)
Contact details supplied to MODs
carpy09
Posts: 12606
   Old Thread  #503 26 Oct 2012 at 11.53am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #501
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #502 26 Oct 2012 at 10.29am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Tony blackburn was invited to a pool party.When he turned up he had Jimmy Savile and Gary Glitter with him.The host said to Blackburn,"you deaf b-----d,i said bring a pair of speedos!!"
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #501 26 Oct 2012 at 10.24am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Today my wife said she had a head cold.I said "its probably caused by you being a fat b-----d.""how can being fat cause a cold?",she asked.I said,"coz your heads never out of the f---king fridge!!"
ralph69 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of ralph69 (John)
Contact details supplied to MODs
ralph69
Posts: 10075
   Old Thread  #500 25 Oct 2012 at 9.33pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #499
Mr-Bean-Laden is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Mr-Bean-Laden (Andrew)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2016
   Old Thread  #499 25 Oct 2012 at 9.23pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I wish everyone would stop criticising Jimmy Savile. When I was 8, he fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded.
MrGrantski is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of MrGrantski (Grants)
Contact details supplied to MODs
MrGrantski
Posts: 953
   Old Thread  #498 24 Oct 2012 at 9.47pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The iPad Mini

For when you haven't got enough space in your bag for an iPad but still want to show people that you're a c#%t.
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #497 24 Oct 2012 at 7.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
"you spend far too much time on that computer"
Possibly a bit harsh,but as one of Stephen hawking's closest friends,i felt someone had to tell him.
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #496 24 Oct 2012 at 7.05pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My girlfriend got the sack today.
That will teach her for sleeping with her mouth open
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #495 24 Oct 2012 at 12.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #491
thats a good un
tuftytowers is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of tuftytowers (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
tuftytowers
Posts: 674
   Old Thread  #494 24 Oct 2012 at 9.09am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #493
Great-Blondini is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Great-Blondini (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Great-Blondini
Posts: 11667
[ MODERATOR ]
   Old Thread  #493 23 Oct 2012 at 10.25pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #492
text from dog
carpy09 has used site within the last 5 mins
View the profile of carpy09 (Chris)
Contact details supplied to MODs
carpy09
Posts: 12606
   Old Thread  #492 23 Oct 2012 at 9.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #491
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22684
   Old Thread  #491 23 Oct 2012 at 8.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Mick, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Mick and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Mick snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Mick shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Bill's turn. He was a tanned, older biker, a man's man.. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Mick into bed, patted him on the arse, and kissed him good night on the lips. Mick sat up and watched me all night."
Page: 145 of 178  
  
   Copyright 2002-2020  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk