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   Old Thread  #496 24 Oct 2012 at 7.05pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My girlfriend got the sack today.
That will teach her for sleeping with her mouth open
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   Old Thread  #495 24 Oct 2012 at 12.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #491
thats a good un
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   Old Thread  #494 24 Oct 2012 at 9.09am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #493 23 Oct 2012 at 10.25pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #492
text from dog
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   Old Thread  #492 23 Oct 2012 at 9.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #491 23 Oct 2012 at 8.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Mick, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first guy slept with Mick and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Mick snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Mick shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Bill's turn. He was a tanned, older biker, a man's man.. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Mick into bed, patted him on the arse, and kissed him good night on the lips. Mick sat up and watched me all night."
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   Old Thread  #490 22 Oct 2012 at 10.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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lol
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   Old Thread  #489 22 Oct 2012 at 9.32pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I just received a call from an Indian telemarketer.

So I handed the phone to my three year old son and told him that Santa Claus is on the phone. Their conversation has been going on for ages!
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   Old Thread  #488 22 Oct 2012 at 5.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I've been going through some real money troubles. Realising this, my Gran gave me her pearl earrings. "They've been passed down through the generations," she said, "but needs must. "Great. Now I'm broke and I look super gay as well.
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   Old Thread  #487 22 Oct 2012 at 5.29pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #486 22 Oct 2012 at 5.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was standing in a bar and this little chinese guy comes in the pub,stands next to me and starts drinking.
I said to him "do you know any of those martial arts things like kung fu karate or ju-jitsu? He says "no why the f--k you ask me dat? is it coz i chinese? No i said its because you're drinking my pint you little c--t.
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   Old Thread  #485 19 Oct 2012 at 11.18pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #477
just spat cheese n crackers at me lap top
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   Old Thread  #484 19 Oct 2012 at 8.36pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Four words to dread hearing after sex....."howz about that then"
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   Old Thread  #483 19 Oct 2012 at 5.46am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Ditto
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   Old Thread  #482 18 Oct 2012 at 9.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #474
Just read this one to my wife and she thinks it sums up our relationship - bless her lol
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