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   Old Thread  #610 27 Nov 2012 at 5.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #609 27 Nov 2012 at 10.17am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.

Dave says, "John, what are you so happy for?"

"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave. Tits out to here! She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave. She couldn't swim!"

The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face. Dave says, "What are you happy about today John?"

"Well Dave... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxing' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blonde came up to me... tits out to here, Dave. Tits out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I told her 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. Way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave! She couldn't swim!"

A couple days pass and Dave walks into a bar and sees John down there crying' over a beer.

Dave says, "John, what are you so sad for?"

"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxing' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here, Dave. Tits WAY out to here. I had more wood than my boat does. She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' So I said, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave, way WAY out... much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said 'It's either screw or swim!' She pulled down her pants and..." He paused and took a big gulp of beer. "She had a dick, Dave! She had this great BIG dick! ... and I can't swim Dave! I can't swim!"
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   Old Thread  #608 27 Nov 2012 at 8.54am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was sat in a restaurant last night when this drunk old tart came over:"Anything I can do for you?" She purred."Yeah" I said, "get your tits out.""Ooh...you like my titties do ya?" She giggled."No love" I said, "they're dangling in my curry.
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   Old Thread  #607 27 Nov 2012 at 6.57am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Just found out my Grand dad was half Irish and half Chinese.
he is called pat Noodle.
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   Old Thread  #606 25 Nov 2012 at 8.26pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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I'm at the doctors surgery,and they don't know why I have this rather nasty rash on my ********.Guess I'II have to wait for the doctor now,these other patients are f--king clueless.
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   Old Thread  #605 25 Nov 2012 at 8.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #604 25 Nov 2012 at 3.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #603 25 Nov 2012 at 2.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #602 25 Nov 2012 at 2.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!

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   Old Thread  #601 25 Nov 2012 at 10.20am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Social photographer...
   Old Thread  #600 22 Nov 2012 at 9.05pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Didn't they also do 'bald headed woman' in the tune of 'more than a woman' Brian?
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   Old Thread  #599 22 Nov 2012 at 8.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Gianfranco Zola says he hates the chelsea ''merry-go-round'' management system.Probably because he's too small to go on it.
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   Old Thread  #598 22 Nov 2012 at 5.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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"Cheers for that",can't stop f--king singing it know,played it loud so my daughter and missus could hear and now they are doing my head in with it
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   Old Thread  #597 22 Nov 2012 at 5.13pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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i cannot hear that song without those alternative lyrics coming to my mind!!

i can see deirdre now lorraine has gone....
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   Old Thread  #596 22 Nov 2012 at 5.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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You learn something new every day Brian
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