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   Old Thread  #2493 25 Oct 2016 at 10.35am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2490
Yes she does
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   Old Thread  #2492 25 Oct 2016 at 9.42am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Can't stop laughing, luckyjim
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   Old Thread  #2491 5 Oct 2016 at 8.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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PMSL

I had a wife, once lol
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   Old Thread  #2490 5 Oct 2016 at 8.20pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Sounds like my wife but she doesn't take it up the arse and she's useless with the kids
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   Old Thread  #2489 5 Oct 2016 at 8.14pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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The old bill knocked my door last night holding a picture of my wife, they said " excuse me sir , is this you're wife" , l said "yes" . He replied " I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus " . I said "I know , but she takes it up the arse and she's good with the kids .
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   Old Thread  #2488 15 Sept 2016 at 9.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
went to a show the other night, there was a hypnotist, boy he was good, swinging his pocket watch left to right and back again he had 7 guys under his spell in no time, as he turned to the audience he stumbled and dropped the watch, it broke into a thousand pieces, as he bent down to pick up the bits he said f*** me and what I saw in the next 5 minutes will haunt me for the rest of my life.
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   Old Thread  #2487 5 Sept 2016 at 11.06am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home, feeling well randy and full of confidence he leans his hand on the wall and says "darling will you give me a blowjob"
"no my parents will see us"
"oh come on who's gonna see us at this hour"
"no, can you imagine if we get caught"
"oh come on they're all asleep"
"no its just too risky"
"please please I love you so much"
"I love you too but I just can't "
"I beg you"
then the landing light goes on and the girls sister comes down the stairs, in a sleepy voice says "dad says give him a blowjob, or I can do it, or if need be he'll do it but for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom"
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   Old Thread  #2486 31 Aug 2016 at 10.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2485 31 Aug 2016 at 4.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Jack Wiltshire has fallen out of the transfer window and will be out for four months
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   Old Thread  #2484 18 Aug 2016 at 12.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Mick O'Reilly raised his beer glass and said "here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me lovely wife", he won the best toast of the night, went home and told the wife, aye did you now, what was the toast? "here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife", next day the wife bumps into one of Mick's drinking pals, hello Mary he chuckles I see Mick won the best toast of the night and it was about you, yes she said though I'm a bit surprised he's only been in there twice in the last 4 years, the first time I had to pull his ear to make him come and the second he fell asleep.
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   Old Thread  #2483 13 Aug 2016 at 1.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Paddy is holding down a good job at The Natural History museum then one day a Yank said hey buddy what is that? paddy replied that boss is a Mammoth it's very old, really, how old is it? this one is 4 million years 8 months, Wow said the yank, how can they get the age so accurate? well said paddy it was 4 million years old when I got the job and I've been hear 8 months now.
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   Old Thread  #2482 4 Aug 2016 at 7.24pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm.
It was a disaster!
Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!
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   Old Thread  #2481 4 Aug 2016 at 7.19pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2480
brill
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   Old Thread  #2480 3 Aug 2016 at 7.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Went to my first Isis birthday party today , musical chairs was a bit slow but **** me pass the parcel weren't half quick .
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   Old Thread  #2479 2 Aug 2016 at 9.05pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My neighbor just confronted me about stuff going missing from her washing line ,
**** me , I nearly sh1t her pants
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