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   Old Thread  #2459 26 Apr 2016 at 4.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I said to my missus this morning , you look just like a saint "
She said , "ohh , do I really "
I said yeah, a ****ing Saint Bernard
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   Old Thread  #2458 25 Apr 2016 at 9.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2457 22 Apr 2016 at 9.34pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Global Facts About Sex

At any given moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading This..

You hang in there......



Tel
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   Old Thread  #2456 21 Apr 2016 at 5.59pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
How unlucky is my mate , he went in hospital today to have his tonsils out and some ****er turned the trolley round
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   Old Thread  #2455 19 Apr 2016 at 5.13pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Last year my wife ran away with the neighbour.
I still miss him.
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   Old Thread  #2454 19 Apr 2016 at 12.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Billy said to Johnny like your new phone, yeah said Johnny you’ll never guess how I got it, I came home early from Sunday school and caught mum and dad at it like rabbits so they bought me the phone to stay the full session you should try it, yeah says Billy I’ll give it a go, the next Sunday Billy go’s home early and catches his parents at it doggy fashion, as he stood in the doorway his dad says OH hello Billy what do you want? I wanna watch, ok son come in and sit over there.

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   Old Thread  #2453 18 Apr 2016 at 9.05pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Well it made me chuckle when I had it arrive on my phone, almost as much as reading the football thread on here😂😂😂😂😂😂
Tel
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   Old Thread  #2452 18 Apr 2016 at 6.14pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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That's quality
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   Old Thread  #2451 18 Apr 2016 at 3.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2450 18 Apr 2016 at 1.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2449 18 Apr 2016 at 12.18pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Little Johnny was in the classroom bored to the back teeth on a Friday afternoon, and the teacher decided to have a game for the kids to get them thinking.

“Okay class. Now I'm going to say a famous quote, and the first person to tell me who said that quote, can have Monday off.” said the teacher.


'Who is credited with writing the phrase, 'To be or not to be, that is the question’?” asked the teacher.

Little Pham Lam Nguyen at the front of the class called out, 'Shakespeare'.

'Well done!' said the teacher, 'You can have Monday off.”

'No thank you Miss. I am of Vietnamese origin and it is in our culture to study as hard as we can, so I will be here on Monday studying hard.' said Little Pham Lam Nguyen.

'Well okay,' said the teacher.

The next quote is, “I had a dream!”

Little Fri Sum Kat also at the front yelled out “I bereiva it was Martin Ruther King!”

“Well done!” said the teacher. 'You can have Monday off”

“No thanka you miss I am of Chinese oligin and we also do not take time offa school. Education is evelything to us, so I will be in on Monday studying hard too.” said little Fri Sum Kat.

'Okay,' said the teacher.

Then she heard a voice from the back of the classroom, “bloody Asians!”

“Who said that?” yelled the teacher in an angry tone.

“Donald Trump!” yelled little Johnny. “See ya Tuesday ………..”

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   Old Thread  #2448 17 Apr 2016 at 10.55am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2447 17 Apr 2016 at 9.39am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Two blokes walking through a jungle when they see a crocodile with a blokes head sticking out of its mouth. One says to his mate, look at that flash barsteward hes only got a lacoste sleeping bag
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   Old Thread  #2446 16 Apr 2016 at 11.41pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Mick goes in to a flag shop to get a flag for the queen's birthday, bejazzus oy'll have a green union jack says Mick, the assistant is in tears with laughter and says they are red,white and blue, OK says Mick oy'll have a blue one
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   Old Thread  #2445 13 Apr 2016 at 9.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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