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 #684 10 Dec 2012 at 1.41pm | |   |
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I watched the deleted scenes from a porno last night. Turns out he did fix the washing machine after all
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#683 10 Dec 2012 at 1.38pm | | |
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I'm not saying my new girlfriend is a sl@g or anything, But by the looks of her f@nny, I'm thinking it's more of a suggestion box
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#682 9 Dec 2012 at 10.02pm | | |
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I was shagging my blonde girlfriend when she said, "Cum all over me and I will not leave your bedroom until I've licked it all up."
3 years on she's still in my bedroom. **** knows how my jizz got onto her elbow.
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#681 9 Dec 2012 at 7.46pm | | |
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So Rio Ferdinand has had a coin thrown at him by a Manchester City supporter...It's a case of 'The fan hitting the ****'.
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#680 9 Dec 2012 at 7.42pm | | |
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The worst letter i've ever wrote:
Dear Jim ,please can you fix it for me to go on its a knock out!.
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#679 9 Dec 2012 at 7.36pm | | |
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l was getting a hand job off my new girlfriend when i asked,"how are you so good at this?"
"Years of practice," She said.
"Bit of a player in your day?" l laughed.
"no," "my dad had no arms!!"
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#678 8 Dec 2012 at 7.58pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1
I Was in the pub chatting to a nice lady when she says do you fancy a bit in the car, well what could I say apart from bloody hell yeah. One thing led to another when a policeman knocked on the window and says what's going on in there, well the Women went mad shouting and screaming at the copper. At which point the copper arrests me for............having an offensinve person on my weapon!!!!!!
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#677 7 Dec 2012 at 7.42pm | | |
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Ladbrokes must be sh**ting themselves right now.
If Des O'Connor is next, I've landed a 7 paedo accumulator.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#676 7 Dec 2012 at 12.29pm | | |
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In reply to Post #674
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#675 7 Dec 2012 at 12.29pm | | |
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Paddy goes to a florist & says "I'd like to buy some flowers for my girlfriend."The florist says "Certainly, what is it you're after?"Paddy says "A t1t w@nk..!
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#674 7 Dec 2012 at 11.11am | | |
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The doctor has advised me to avoid saturated fat.
So I've stopped shagging the missus in the shower.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#673 7 Dec 2012 at 11.07am | | |
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dp 
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#672 7 Dec 2012 at 11.07am | | |
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One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar waiting to catch any drunk drivers.
At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Everyone left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered a Breath test.
The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.
The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the Designated Decoy.
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#671 7 Dec 2012 at 7.06am | | |
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Santa say's to his elf "i am getting sick of this .Its the same old sh-t every year.Running around like a c--t,in this stupid red costume,and at the end of it all l always end up with is nowt."The elf say's"Now you Know how Steven Gerrard Feels".
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#670 7 Dec 2012 at 7.00am | | |
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In reply to Post #668
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