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 #771 24 Dec 2012 at 8.37pm | |   |
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In reply to Post #770
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#770 24 Dec 2012 at 8.36pm | | |
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What is white, the size of a smartie and can induce a cardiac arrest in a 74 year old man within one second?
Paul Daniels door bell
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#769 24 Dec 2012 at 7.03pm | | |
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Breaking news; FA to introduce sponge footballs and safety helmets after van Persie near death experience.
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#768 24 Dec 2012 at 5.03pm | | |
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In reply to Post #767
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#767 24 Dec 2012 at 4.18pm | | |
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I can't wait to unwrap and open 'Footballers' Cluedo' tomorrow.
I bet it was 'Ashley Williams' in 'The Liberty Stadium' with 'The Ball'.
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#766 24 Dec 2012 at 4.15pm | | |
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In reply to Post #764
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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#765 24 Dec 2012 at 3.35pm | | |
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#764 24 Dec 2012 at 2.32pm | | |
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Paul Daniels has revealed that, 40 years ago he picked up a hitchhiker and kissed her intimately only to discover she was a schoolgirl. He has therefore escaped 4 decades of prison and a media hate campaign.
Now *that's* magic!!
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#763 24 Dec 2012 at 2.00pm | | |
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In reply to Post #761
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#761 24 Dec 2012 at 1.13pm | | |
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What's the best way to kill a rapist?
Well according to Alex Ferguson....its tapping him on the head with a football.
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#760 24 Dec 2012 at 1.06pm | | |
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In reply to Post #757
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#759 24 Dec 2012 at 11.45am | | |
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I have lost my phone, so if you find it I can explain the pictures.
I suspected my hamster had hypothermia so I needed to stick him somewhere warm, quickly
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#758 24 Dec 2012 at 11.45am | | |
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I haven't washed my van for a few weeks now. I caught a tramp writing a message on it this morning.
It said, "I wish my wife was this clean
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#757 24 Dec 2012 at 11.44am | | |
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As we laid in bed I dipped my finger into the wife's fanny.
She got a bit upset and said can't you just lick your finger to turn the page.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#756 24 Dec 2012 at 11.44am | | |
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I'm selling my pet python on ebay.
Some bloke just rang up and asked is it big?
I said ****ing massive.
He said how many feet?
I said none, it's a fcuking snake
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