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 #747 22 Dec 2012 at 6.45pm | |   |
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In reply to Post #746
A couple were Christmas shopping and the shopping centre was packed.
As the wife walked through a store she was surprised to look
around and see that her husband was nowhere to be seen.
She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. Because she was so
worried, she called him on her mobile to ask him where he was.
In a calm voice, he said, "Do you remember the jewellers we went into
about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace
that we couldn't afford, and I told you that I would get it for you
one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that shop."
"Well, I'm in the pub next door to it."
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#746 22 Dec 2012 at 12.16pm | | |
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In reply to Post #745
 
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#745 22 Dec 2012 at 11.32am | | |
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This Christmas shopping is a load of w@nk.
I went to boots....and they don't sell boots....
I went to Selfridge and they don't sell fridges....
went to Curry's.....not a curry in site!
So I tried Virgin Megastore and what a fcuking disappointment that was....
It had closed down in 2007
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#744 22 Dec 2012 at 11.30am | | |
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In reply to Post #742
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| | | noj | | Posts: 9797 |  | | Social photographer... | |
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#743 21 Dec 2012 at 8.49pm | | |
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My gold plated butt-plug business is being sued by Apple.
Apparently they have a patent on overpriced crap for A***holes.
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#742 21 Dec 2012 at 6.50pm | | |
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Fred Talbot is forecasting some unpleasant showers.
Mainly the ones in prison
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#741 21 Dec 2012 at 6.49pm | | |
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My wife was dressing for work and said..."How come your cock doesn't get as hard it used to?"
as she tucked her tits into her knickers!
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#740 21 Dec 2012 at 10.51am | | |
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Went to the doctors yesterday suffering from premature ejaculation. Doctor said, "This must be very stressful for your wife." I said,
"To be honest it's getting on her tits."
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#739 20 Dec 2012 at 6.00pm | | |
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In reply to Post #734
Pmsl
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#738 20 Dec 2012 at 11.01am | | |
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I ran my hands over her breasts, untied her legs, spread them and lifted them in the air to reveal her waiting juicy hole, I pushed in as much as I could until she could take no more.....
Right that's the turkey stuffed now to peel the potatoes....
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#737 20 Dec 2012 at 10.19am | | |
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I was in town shopping today and stopped a woman in the street.
"Excuse me love, have you any idea where I can get a decent jumper?"
"Have you tried Fat Face?" she replied.
"Good idea," I said.
"Do you know anywhere?" I said, turning to my wife.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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#736 20 Dec 2012 at 9.26am | | |
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In reply to Post #734
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#735 19 Dec 2012 at 9.23pm | | |
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In reply to Post #733
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| | | noj | | Posts: 9797 | | | Social photographer... | |
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#734 19 Dec 2012 at 7.28pm | | |
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The missus packed my bags and kicked me out last week.
As I walked down the garden path she shouted "I hope you live a miserable life and die a slow painful death you ****!"
"Make your bloody mind up, do you want me to go or not?"
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#733 19 Dec 2012 at 6.37pm | | |
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"Why do men always fall asleep after they cum?", asked my wife.
"I don't know", I replied, struggling to open my eyes.
"Well, get off the toilet, I need a sh1t."
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