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   Old Thread  #771 24 Dec 2012 at 8.37pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #770
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   Old Thread  #770 24 Dec 2012 at 8.36pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What is white, the size of a smartie and can induce a cardiac arrest in a 74 year old man within one second?

Paul Daniels door bell
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   Old Thread  #769 24 Dec 2012 at 7.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Breaking news; FA to introduce sponge footballs and safety helmets after van Persie near death experience.
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   Old Thread  #768 24 Dec 2012 at 5.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #767 24 Dec 2012 at 4.18pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I can't wait to unwrap and open 'Footballers' Cluedo' tomorrow.

I bet it was 'Ashley Williams' in 'The Liberty Stadium' with 'The Ball'.
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   Old Thread  #766 24 Dec 2012 at 4.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #765 24 Dec 2012 at 3.35pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #764 24 Dec 2012 at 2.32pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Paul Daniels has revealed that, 40 years ago he picked up a hitchhiker and kissed her intimately only to discover she was a schoolgirl. He has therefore escaped 4 decades of prison and a media hate campaign.

Now *that's* magic!!
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   Old Thread  #763 24 Dec 2012 at 2.00pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #761 24 Dec 2012 at 1.13pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What's the best way to kill a rapist?




Well according to Alex Ferguson....its tapping him on the head with a football.
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   Old Thread  #760 24 Dec 2012 at 1.06pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #759 24 Dec 2012 at 11.45am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I have lost my phone, so if you find it I can explain the pictures.

I suspected my hamster had hypothermia so I needed to stick him somewhere warm, quickly
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   Old Thread  #758 24 Dec 2012 at 11.45am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I haven't washed my van for a few weeks now. I caught a tramp writing a message on it this morning.

It said, "I wish my wife was this clean
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   Old Thread  #757 24 Dec 2012 at 11.44am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
As we laid in bed I dipped my finger into the wife's fanny.

She got a bit upset and said can't you just lick your finger to turn the page.
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   Old Thread  #756 24 Dec 2012 at 11.44am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I'm selling my pet python on ebay.

Some bloke just rang up and asked is it big?

I said ****ing massive.

He said how many feet?

I said none, it's a fcuking snake
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