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 #867 12 Jan 2013 at 7.40pm | |   |
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Female weightlifter goes to the doctor" i've been taking steroids & seem to have grown a cock".
"Anabolic" asks the Dr.
"No just a cock" says the woman.
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#866 12 Jan 2013 at 2.54pm | | |
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In reply to Post #864
 
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#865 12 Jan 2013 at 11.59am | | |
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In reply to Post #864
 
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#864 12 Jan 2013 at 11.19am | | |
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The reason Alex Ferguson chews so much gum is that after sucking off all the officials before the match starts, old whiskey nose then has to spend the rest of the game getting the taste out of his mouth.
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#863 12 Jan 2013 at 11.19am | | |
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In reply to Post #861
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#862 12 Jan 2013 at 9.53am | | |
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I was watching the undateables last night and there was a blonde girl on it who due to a stroke a few years ago,now struggles to talk and start conversation.
Undateable? She's perfect.
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#861 12 Jan 2013 at 9.48am | | |
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The missus went to the doctors to see what the spot was between her tits.
She returned home relieved to be told it was her belly botton
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#860 12 Jan 2013 at 9.45am | | |
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LFC have decided to appeal the 2 red cards Howard Webb will give them against Man Utd on Sunday.
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#859 12 Jan 2013 at 9.41am | | |
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Just got back from a friends funeral who drowned last week.
I got a lot of abuse from his relatives about my floral tribute in the shape of a life jacket.
But as I told everyone."its what he would have wanted"!!
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#858 12 Jan 2013 at 9.37am | | |
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In reply to Post #857
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#857 11 Jan 2013 at 12.00pm | | |
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What's the difference between my wife and a cart horse?
The horse doesn't kick when you whack your load on its back.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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#856 11 Jan 2013 at 6.10am | | |
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While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."
The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to showit to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his
briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screams,"Schwartz is dead!
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#855 11 Jan 2013 at 6.07am | | |
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A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he
pointed out the location.
The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it
to the rancher. "See this f@cking badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers
given! Do you understand old man?!"
The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later, the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up
and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and
yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR F@CKING BADGE!"
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#854 11 Jan 2013 at 6.04am | | |
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I fcuked a chick with OCD the other day. She liked to do stuff in alphabetical order, So we started with Anal then to the Blowjob, then Cowgirl leading to Doggy.. Then I got up n got dressed, at this point she started yelling at me but I said I've done E n Ejaculated so now I'm doing F, G and H to which she asked whats that ?? So I replied
- Fcuking Going Home
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#853 10 Jan 2013 at 9.42pm | | |
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In a recent online survey, 90% of men admitted to masturbating regularly.
The other 10% hit the wrong button with their left hand.
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