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   Old Thread  #972 25 Jan 2013 at 9.55am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #971 24 Jan 2013 at 7.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Attendance call on the first day back at school in Birmingham. The teacher begun calling out the names of the pupils;
"Mustafa al Eih Zeri?" "here."
"Achmed el kbul?" "Here."
"Fatima Al Hayek?" "Here"
"Ali Addul Olmi?" "Here"
"Mohammed Bin kadir?" "here"
"Ali son al Len" Silence in the classroom.
"Ali Son al Len" continued silence as everyone looked around the room.

She repeated,"is there any child here called Ali Son al Len?"
A girl rose and said,Sorry teacher.I think that's me.It's pronounced Alison Allen.
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   Old Thread  #970 24 Jan 2013 at 7.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #969 24 Jan 2013 at 7.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Hazard kicked the ball boy for keeping the ball.Torres would've missed him, Cole would have shot him and Terry would've shagged his mother!!!Chelsea through and through.
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   Old Thread  #968 24 Jan 2013 at 12.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The wife told me to get the broken camp bed mended as her mother was coming to stay this weekend.

"I don't need to bother" I said.

"Oh, and whys that?" my wife asked.

"Cows can sleep standing up" I replied.
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   Old Thread  #967 24 Jan 2013 at 6.41am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Roman Abramovich has just bought that Swansea ball boy for 14 million after keeping possession longer than any Chelsea player.
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   Old Thread  #966 23 Jan 2013 at 9.59pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #965 23 Jan 2013 at 9.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What's the difference between Eden Hazard and Jimmy Savile?

One beats ball boys, the other one beats boys' balls.
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   Old Thread  #964 23 Jan 2013 at 8.30pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife stood modelling the new underwear she'd ordered.
"What do you think"she asked.
I said "Its different to how it is in the catalogue."
"How is it different?"she said.
I replied,"I don't have a hard on....!"
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   Old Thread  #963 23 Jan 2013 at 8.26pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #962 23 Jan 2013 at 8.24pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #961 23 Jan 2013 at 8.14pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I walked into the chemist's today.

"Excuse me" I said to the girl behind the counter. "Do you have any Tena pads? The wife's sent me for some."

"Of course we do sir." She replied. "A big box?"

"Yes." I told her.

"Fcukking massive, actually !!!
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   Old Thread  #960 23 Jan 2013 at 8.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #959 23 Jan 2013 at 8.00pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #958 23 Jan 2013 at 7.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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