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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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 #1050 7 Feb 2013 at 2.47pm | |  |   |
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After 15 years of marrige im pleased to announce that iv finally found the wifes cl1toris
Its on her sister
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#1049 7 Feb 2013 at 2.05pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #1047
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#1048 6 Feb 2013 at 7.03pm | | | |
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I thought it would be funny to phone my wife and fart down the phone.
Later, I asked her, "Any interesting phone calls lately?"
She replied, "Just a voicemail from some ********!"
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#1047 6 Feb 2013 at 7.00pm | | | |
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So, all dogs are going to have to have microchips from 2016.
Fu*k that, mine's getting Pedigree Chum as usual.
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#1046 6 Feb 2013 at 6.20pm | | | |
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#1045 6 Feb 2013 at 5.37pm | | | |
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There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis.
“Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news,” she says. “The bad news is that the muscles around your penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure.”
The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure. “So what’s the good news?” he asks.
The doctor says, “There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant’s trunk into your penis. Would you like to try it?”
The guy thinks about it and finally says, “Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let’s do it.”
So the doctor performs the operation.
A few weeks later, the guy takes his girlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. While sitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful.
Seeking relief, he reaches down and unzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure.
Suddenly, his penis leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again.
“Wow!” says his stunned girlfriend, “That was impressive! Can you do that again?”
Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, “Probably…But I don’t know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!”
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#1044 6 Feb 2013 at 4.19pm | | | |
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An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pu$$y.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#1043 6 Feb 2013 at 4.05pm | | | |
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A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pu$$y?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then
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#1042 6 Feb 2013 at 2.14pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #1039
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#1041 6 Feb 2013 at 12.13pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #1040
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#1040 6 Feb 2013 at 11.50am | | | |
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I was the driving examiner for a nice young lady, and I said, "This test will last about 40 minutes."
"That's quite long," she moaned. "Can it be done any faster?"
"Sure love," I winked. "How about a blowjob and I'll give you a pass."
"Just fcuk off Dad, you said you'd be helpful."
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#1039 6 Feb 2013 at 11.48am | | | |
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British Humour
Tony Blair and David Cameron somehow ended up at the same barber shop.
As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word
Was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn
To politics.
As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Blair in his chair
Reached for the aftershave. Blair was quick to stop him jokingly saying, "No thanks, my wife, Cherie, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Cameron and said, "How about you" Mr. Cameron?"
Cameron replied, "Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like".
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#1038 6 Feb 2013 at 9.12am | | | |
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Valentines Day:
Dinner: £70
Drinks: £50
Taxi: £20
Hotel: £300
The look on your face when she tells you she's on her period.. PRICELESS
The look on her face when you shove it up her ass.. EPIC
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#1037 6 Feb 2013 at 6.42am | | | |
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In reply to Post #1036
A Palestine model was shot dead in Israel today.
Hope it wasn't Grommit!
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#1036 5 Feb 2013 at 11.34am | | | |
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In reply to Post #1033
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