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   Old Thread  #2499 1 Nov 2016 at 11.50am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2498
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   Old Thread  #2498 31 Oct 2016 at 7.12am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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hi all. here's my joke of the day:

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me.

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   Old Thread  #2497 28 Oct 2016 at 9.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My missus told me she was leaving me because I'm immature and we should set a date so we can talk about the state of our marriage .
She can **** off if she thinks I'm doing that in the middle of the conker season .
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   Old Thread  #2496 25 Oct 2016 at 9.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2495 25 Oct 2016 at 7.30pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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And yours
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   Old Thread  #2494 25 Oct 2016 at 7.04pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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so doe's yours
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   Old Thread  #2493 25 Oct 2016 at 10.35am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Yes she does
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   Old Thread  #2492 25 Oct 2016 at 9.42am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Can't stop laughing, luckyjim
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   Old Thread  #2491 5 Oct 2016 at 8.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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PMSL

I had a wife, once lol
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   Old Thread  #2490 5 Oct 2016 at 8.20pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Sounds like my wife but she doesn't take it up the arse and she's useless with the kids
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   Old Thread  #2489 5 Oct 2016 at 8.14pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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The old bill knocked my door last night holding a picture of my wife, they said " excuse me sir , is this you're wife" , l said "yes" . He replied " I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus " . I said "I know , but she takes it up the arse and she's good with the kids .
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   Old Thread  #2488 15 Sept 2016 at 9.15pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
went to a show the other night, there was a hypnotist, boy he was good, swinging his pocket watch left to right and back again he had 7 guys under his spell in no time, as he turned to the audience he stumbled and dropped the watch, it broke into a thousand pieces, as he bent down to pick up the bits he said f*** me and what I saw in the next 5 minutes will haunt me for the rest of my life.
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   Old Thread  #2487 5 Sept 2016 at 11.06am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home, feeling well randy and full of confidence he leans his hand on the wall and says "darling will you give me a blowjob"
"no my parents will see us"
"oh come on who's gonna see us at this hour"
"no, can you imagine if we get caught"
"oh come on they're all asleep"
"no its just too risky"
"please please I love you so much"
"I love you too but I just can't "
"I beg you"
then the landing light goes on and the girls sister comes down the stairs, in a sleepy voice says "dad says give him a blowjob, or I can do it, or if need be he'll do it but for god sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom"
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   Old Thread  #2486 31 Aug 2016 at 10.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #2485 31 Aug 2016 at 4.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Jack Wiltshire has fallen out of the transfer window and will be out for four months
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