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 #2533 24 Jan 2017 at 6.54pm | |   |
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In reply to Post #2531
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#2532 24 Jan 2017 at 6.02pm | | |
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Boy says to mum , I've got the biggest nob at nursery , is it because I'm a scouser , no she replies
It's because you're 28 and a ****ing retard now be a good lad and don't get you're spaghetti hoops
Down you're Liverpool shirt
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#2531 23 Jan 2017 at 7.49pm | | |
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If someone tries to assassinate president Trump will his bodyguards shout Donald , Duck
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#2530 20 Jan 2017 at 1.23pm | | |
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Kids know far to much these days , today in the doctors waiting room a little girl was playing with
Ken and Barbie dolls imitating the doggy position . I bent down and whispered , you'll end up
With baby dolls if you keep doing that , she replied I don't think so dickhead , he's doing her up
The ar$e
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#2529 18 Jan 2017 at 6.43pm | | |
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Got chatting to this bird in a club the other night and she whispered in my ear "fancy coming back to mine , I've got a fanny like a polo " , to right I said .
Got her home and dropped her draws then I gasped , she said you look shocked , I said i thought you meant
The mint , not the ****ing hatchback
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#2528 7 Jan 2017 at 12.41pm | | |
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A guy goes in to a pub, he grabs a guy at the bar, sticks a gun up his trumpet and says "who's been shagging my wife"? The barman laughed and said "you don't have enough bullets".
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#2527 30 Dec 2016 at 8.35pm | | |
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The wife had her teeth whitened last night, but to be honest I think most of it went on her chin.
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#2526 30 Dec 2016 at 1.15am | | |
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In reply to Post #2522
👍🏼😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
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#2525 26 Dec 2016 at 8.34pm | | |
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As it is the time of the year.
A little boy asks his mother: "Mom, can I have a puppy for Christmas?"
His mother replies: "You'll have turkey same as everybody else."😂😂😂😂😂😂
Tel
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#2524 26 Dec 2016 at 8.31pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1
A couple are out shopping before Christmas and get separated in the crowds.
After a while the wife phones the husband to ask where he is.
The husband replies: "Do you remember 5 years ago when were looking in the window of that little jewellers? The one where you saw that beautiful diamond bracelet; and I said that one day in the future, when I could afford it, I would buy it for you."
The wife, choking back the tears replies:
"Oh yes darling, I remember"
"Well" said the husband "I'm in the pub next door 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Tel
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#2523 26 Dec 2016 at 8.30pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1
Seasonal advice - don't drink and drive.
Last night for example, I was out with the lads and had a few pints followed by several whiskies. So I decided it was better to take a bus home. On the way I passed a patrol car stopping all the cars and doing breath tests. Boy was I glad, and I got home safely.
Which was lucky really, because I'd never driven a bus before, and can't remember where I got it from...
Tel
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#2522 23 Dec 2016 at 3.53pm | | |
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The wife got out of the shower and said "as a special Christmas treat I've shaved my pussy, you know what that means" I said "yeah the ****ing drain is blocked again".
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#2521 17 Dec 2016 at 1.20pm | | |
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Just got a new high tech bed for Christmas, the "Micro wave" type........you get a full nights sleep in 20 minutes 
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#2520 15 Dec 2016 at 8.49pm | | |
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Years ago I once walked in on my nan giving my grandad a nosh , I was in total shock coz I thought she
Buried it with the rest of him
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#2519 12 Dec 2016 at 10.05pm | | |
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Just watched a scouse family on family fortunes , you should have seen there faces when Vernon Kay said you have a chance to steal
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