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   Old Thread  #2538 5 Mar 2017 at 10.12am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Husband sat in his room throwing darts at his wife's photo but not even a single one hit the Target. 🎯

From the kitchen wife asks the husband :
"What are u doing?"

Husband : "MISSING YOU DARLING"
👍
Tel
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   Old Thread  #2537 4 Mar 2017 at 2.13pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
a 7 year old and a 4 year old are in their bedroom, the 7 year old says it's time we started swearing, when we go down for breakfast I'll start then you, OK, the 4 year old says yeah OK, they go down and mum says what do you want for breakfast? the 7 year old says Coco pops Bitch, whack, he gets a clout round the head and ends up on the floor, she turns to the 4 year old and says what about you, well it won't be f***ing Coco pops.
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   Old Thread  #2536 13 Feb 2017 at 1.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2532
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   Old Thread  #2535 31 Jan 2017 at 6.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
two cannibal's eating a clown (not me) one turns to the other and says does this taste funny to you?
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   Old Thread  #2534 31 Jan 2017 at 3.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1
Donald trump goes to the hospital for his circumcision. The doctor walks in and says "I cannot operate on this man, there's no end to this *****"
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   Old Thread  #2533 24 Jan 2017 at 6.54pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2531
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   Old Thread  #2532 24 Jan 2017 at 6.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Boy says to mum , I've got the biggest nob at nursery , is it because I'm a scouser , no she replies
It's because you're 28 and a ****ing retard now be a good lad and don't get you're spaghetti hoops
Down you're Liverpool shirt
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   Old Thread  #2531 23 Jan 2017 at 7.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
If someone tries to assassinate president Trump will his bodyguards shout Donald , Duck
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   Old Thread  #2530 20 Jan 2017 at 1.23pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Kids know far to much these days , today in the doctors waiting room a little girl was playing with
Ken and Barbie dolls imitating the doggy position . I bent down and whispered , you'll end up
With baby dolls if you keep doing that , she replied I don't think so dickhead , he's doing her up
The ar$e
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   Old Thread  #2529 18 Jan 2017 at 6.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Got chatting to this bird in a club the other night and she whispered in my ear "fancy coming back to mine , I've got a fanny like a polo " , to right I said .
Got her home and dropped her draws then I gasped , she said you look shocked , I said i thought you meant
The mint , not the ****ing hatchback
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   Old Thread  #2528 7 Jan 2017 at 12.41pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A guy goes in to a pub, he grabs a guy at the bar, sticks a gun up his trumpet and says "who's been shagging my wife"? The barman laughed and said "you don't have enough bullets".
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   Old Thread  #2527 30 Dec 2016 at 8.35pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The wife had her teeth whitened last night, but to be honest I think most of it went on her chin.
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   Old Thread  #2526 30 Dec 2016 at 1.15am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #2522
👍🏼😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
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   Old Thread  #2525 26 Dec 2016 at 8.34pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
As it is the time of the year.

A little boy asks his mother: "Mom, can I have a puppy for Christmas?"

His mother replies: "You'll have turkey same as everybody else."😂😂😂😂😂😂

Tel
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   Old Thread  #2524 26 Dec 2016 at 8.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1
A couple are out shopping before Christmas and get separated in the crowds.
After a while the wife phones the husband to ask where he is.

The husband replies: "Do you remember 5 years ago when were looking in the window of that little jewellers? The one where you saw that beautiful diamond bracelet; and I said that one day in the future, when I could afford it, I would buy it for you."

The wife, choking back the tears replies:

"Oh yes darling, I remember"

"Well" said the husband "I'm in the pub next door 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Tel
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