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 #1170 22 Feb 2013 at 9.45pm | |  |   |
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In reply to Post #1169
There once was a man from Brighton,
who said to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She said, "Pardon my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one."
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#1169 22 Feb 2013 at 9.41pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #1168
How do you make three pounds of fat look attractive?
Put a nipple on it.
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#1168 22 Feb 2013 at 9.39pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #1167
A husband and wife are cooing over their new born baby.
"Look at the size of his todger," says the man. "It's massive!"
"Yes dear," says the woman. "But at least he's got your ears."
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#1167 22 Feb 2013 at 1.38pm | | | |
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what do spurs have that oscar pistorius doesn't?
bale
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#1166 21 Feb 2013 at 6.07pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #1165
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#1165 21 Feb 2013 at 6.01pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #1164
Paddy set Mick up with a a date and says "she's a lovely girl but there's something you should know.
She's expecting a baby."Mick shrugs his shoulders and say's "OK. I'll give it a go."
The next day Paddy sees Mick and say's "How did it go last night then?"
Mick replies "Not too good.She was half an hour late and l felt a right ***** sat at the bar wearing a nappy and
a f--king bib....
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#1164 21 Feb 2013 at 5.53pm | | | |
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What do you call a man with no legs?
F--k all he might shoot you.
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#1163 20 Feb 2013 at 11.22pm | | | |
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my missus said to me " can you explain to me why i found a pair of womens knickers
in youre coat pocket ?
i said yes , its coz youre a ****ing nosey cow
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#1162 20 Feb 2013 at 7.31pm | | | |
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Last year my mate Dave found out that he couldn't have kids.
He was absolutely devastated, so being the kind of guy I am, I offered to have sex with his wife, which they both agreed to.
Dave called me today and said, "Look, you've been shagging my wife twice a day for the last six months and she still isn't pregnant."
"That's probably because I had a vasectomy back in 2009." I replied.
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#1161 20 Feb 2013 at 7.02pm | | | |
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I was visiting my daughter the other day when i asked if i could borrow a news paper,my "Know it all" daughter sarcastically laughed and said,"this is the 21st century,we don't waste money on news papers.Here you can borrow my laptop."
Well l can tell you now,that fly didn't know what the f--k hit it!.
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#1160 20 Feb 2013 at 2.09pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #1146
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#1159 20 Feb 2013 at 2.07pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #1158
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#1158 20 Feb 2013 at 1.07pm | | | |
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What movie do you get if you cross Oscar Pistorius and Mike Tyson?....
Shinless Lisp.
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#1157 19 Feb 2013 at 4.09pm | | | |
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I'm not saying my wife was a bit of a slag in her youth..
But when I first met her, she had a higher sperm count than me.
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#1156 19 Feb 2013 at 3.55pm | | | |
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In reply to Post #1155
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