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   Old Thread  #1172 22 Feb 2013 at 10.24pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A copper pulls up alongside a 13 year old girl spewing and spitting in coronation street, 'Have you been drinking young lady?' he askes her, to which she replied,

'Yes, i've just had a pint of webster's!'
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   Old Thread  #1171 22 Feb 2013 at 10.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills candy. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jills real name is randy.
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   Old Thread  #1170 22 Feb 2013 at 9.45pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1169
There once was a man from Brighton,
who said to his girl, "You're a tight one."
She said, "Pardon my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one."
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   Old Thread  #1169 22 Feb 2013 at 9.41pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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How do you make three pounds of fat look attractive?
Put a nipple on it.
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   Old Thread  #1168 22 Feb 2013 at 9.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1167
A husband and wife are cooing over their new born baby.
"Look at the size of his todger," says the man. "It's massive!"
"Yes dear," says the woman. "But at least he's got your ears."
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   Old Thread  #1167 22 Feb 2013 at 1.38pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
what do spurs have that oscar pistorius doesn't?

bale
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   Old Thread  #1166 21 Feb 2013 at 6.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1165 21 Feb 2013 at 6.01pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Paddy set Mick up with a a date and says "she's a lovely girl but there's something you should know.
She's expecting a baby."Mick shrugs his shoulders and say's "OK. I'll give it a go."
The next day Paddy sees Mick and say's "How did it go last night then?"
Mick replies "Not too good.She was half an hour late and l felt a right ***** sat at the bar wearing a nappy and
a f--king bib....
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   Old Thread  #1164 21 Feb 2013 at 5.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What do you call a man with no legs?


F--k all he might shoot you.
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   Old Thread  #1163 20 Feb 2013 at 11.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
my missus said to me " can you explain to me why i found a pair of womens knickers
in youre coat pocket ?
i said yes , its coz youre a ****ing nosey cow
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   Old Thread  #1162 20 Feb 2013 at 7.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Last year my mate Dave found out that he couldn't have kids.

He was absolutely devastated, so being the kind of guy I am, I offered to have sex with his wife, which theyboth agreed to.

Dave called me today and said, "Look, you've been shagging my wife twice a day for the last six months and she still isn't pregnant."

"That's probably because I had a vasectomy back in 2009." I replied.
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   Old Thread  #1161 20 Feb 2013 at 7.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was visiting my daughter the other day when i asked if i could borrow a news paper,my "Know it all" daughter sarcastically laughed and said,"this is the 21st century,we don't waste money on news papers.Here you can borrow my laptop."
Well l can tell you now,that fly didn't know what the f--k hit it!.
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   Old Thread  #1160 20 Feb 2013 at 2.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1146
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   Old Thread  #1159 20 Feb 2013 at 2.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1158 20 Feb 2013 at 1.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What movie do you get if you cross Oscar Pistorius and Mike Tyson?....

Shinless Lisp.
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