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   Old Thread  #1166 21 Feb 2013 at 6.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1165
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   Old Thread  #1165 21 Feb 2013 at 6.01pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Paddy set Mick up with a a date and says "she's a lovely girl but there's something you should know.
She's expecting a baby."Mick shrugs his shoulders and say's "OK. I'll give it a go."
The next day Paddy sees Mick and say's "How did it go last night then?"
Mick replies "Not too good.She was half an hour late and l felt a right ***** sat at the bar wearing a nappy and
a f--king bib....
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   Old Thread  #1164 21 Feb 2013 at 5.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What do you call a man with no legs?


F--k all he might shoot you.
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   Old Thread  #1163 20 Feb 2013 at 11.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
my missus said to me " can you explain to me why i found a pair of womens knickers
in youre coat pocket ?
i said yes , its coz youre a ****ing nosey cow
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   Old Thread  #1162 20 Feb 2013 at 7.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Last year my mate Dave found out that he couldn't have kids.

He was absolutely devastated, so being the kind of guy I am, I offered to have sex with his wife, which theyboth agreed to.

Dave called me today and said, "Look, you've been shagging my wife twice a day for the last six months and she still isn't pregnant."

"That's probably because I had a vasectomy back in 2009." I replied.
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   Old Thread  #1161 20 Feb 2013 at 7.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was visiting my daughter the other day when i asked if i could borrow a news paper,my "Know it all" daughter sarcastically laughed and said,"this is the 21st century,we don't waste money on news papers.Here you can borrow my laptop."
Well l can tell you now,that fly didn't know what the f--k hit it!.
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   Old Thread  #1160 20 Feb 2013 at 2.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1159 20 Feb 2013 at 2.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1158 20 Feb 2013 at 1.07pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What movie do you get if you cross Oscar Pistorius and Mike Tyson?....

Shinless Lisp.
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   Old Thread  #1157 19 Feb 2013 at 4.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I'm not saying my wife was a bit of a slag in her youth..

But when I first met her, she had a higher sperm count than me.
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   Old Thread  #1156 19 Feb 2013 at 3.55pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1155 19 Feb 2013 at 3.44pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Oscar pestorius


It must have been dark in that house when he shot her as he said he couldnt see two feet in front of him!!
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   Old Thread  #1154 19 Feb 2013 at 3.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Oscar pestorius

Giving a new meaning to taking your Mrs out on Valentines day!!
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   Old Thread  #1153 19 Feb 2013 at 10.10am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Explanation for there being no male agony aunts!

Dear Bill, I am a 42 yr old mother. I left for work but after a mile or so, my car broke down. I had to walk home again, and on arriving home I found my 16 year old babysitter handcuffed to the bed in her school uniform, sucking my husbands cock. I am devastated! Can you help?

Dear Susie, a common cause for this, is dirt in your carburettor. Don't let your fuel drop too low in the tank. Hope this helps.
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   Old Thread  #1152 19 Feb 2013 at 9.29am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Walking through town one day I came across a young boy with a box of newborn puppies at his feet. "Do you want to buy a puppy mister?" He asked "What sort of puppies are they?" I enquired "They're Christian puppies" he answered "That's nice" I answered "But no don't want one." The next day walking through town, this time with my wife, we saw the same boy, so I told my wife to ask him about his special puppies "What sort of puppies are those?" She asked "Atheist puppies" he answered "Wait a minute!" I said "Yesterday you said they were Christian puppies." "I know" he replied "But now their eyes have opened."
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