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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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 #1206 26 Feb 2013 at 5.53pm | |   |
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One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!". help me, there's a bee in my vagina!". The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit" The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina.The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my d1ck I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina." The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, yes whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper". So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement, she began to moan and groan aloud, "Oh doctor, doctor!" she shouted. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself He then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises The husband, at this point, suddenly became very annoyed and still concentrating, replied: "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the b@stard!!"
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#1205 26 Feb 2013 at 5.20pm | | |
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After a date with a homeless girl, I took her back to mine and said "would you like to spend the night here?"
"I would love to" she said.
"Great," I replied, "well just make yourself feel at home."
She gave me a look of disgust and slept in the garden.
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#1204 26 Feb 2013 at 2.21pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1203
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#1203 26 Feb 2013 at 1.18pm | | |
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a boy walked in on his mam and dad having sex, his dad said were making you a brother/sister,the boy replies,do her doggy style id rather have a puppy
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#1202 26 Feb 2013 at 9.38am | | |
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I was sitting down on the floor having a dump the other day as usual. When someone walked in and told me what a toilet is for I almost fell off my stool.
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#1201 26 Feb 2013 at 9.25am | | |
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*For Sale*
30 pairs of Katie Price's knickers.
All still in original packaging.
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#1200 26 Feb 2013 at 9.24am | | |
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What's got one leg and ruins other people's lives?
Oscar Pistorius and Heather Mills.
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#1199 25 Feb 2013 at 7.22pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1198
 
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#1198 25 Feb 2013 at 2.44pm | | |
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I read a while back that the plastic used to make ping-pong balls is highly toxic, so I've been painting them brown and feeding them to my wife, disguised as meatballs in order to kill her.
I hope it works.
If not, I'll have a hell of a time trying to drown the bitch.
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#1197 25 Feb 2013 at 1.43pm | | |
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"I fcuked the wife up the arse last night, pulled out, then she took my load straight in her mouth, beat that!" said Dave.
"Well I only shagged my missus once in a Blue Moon!" I replied.
"And what so impressive about that?" he snorted.
"We never were allowed in that pub again."
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#1196 25 Feb 2013 at 1.30pm | | |
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Please give to comic relief.just £5 can help teach an African how to tell the difference between an intruder and their f--king girlfriend.
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#1195 25 Feb 2013 at 1.27pm | | |
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An old Italian guy goes into the confession box "father,during the war i rescued a beautiful Jewish girl from the Nazis and hide her in my attic.
To show her gratitude she used to shag me every night and give me 2 blow jobs on a Sunday."
"My son"said the priest,"it was a very difficult time in our lives and you shouldn't feel so guilty"
"I know"said the old guy,"but should l tell her the war is over".
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#1194 25 Feb 2013 at 1.13pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1191
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#1193 25 Feb 2013 at 9.40am | | |
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#1192 25 Feb 2013 at 7.28am | | |
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Jordan is undecided on how to give birth to her latest baby.
My bets on the baby bungee jumping.
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