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   Old Thread  #1206 26 Feb 2013 at 5.53pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!". help me, there's a bee in my vagina!". The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit" The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina.The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my d1ck I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina." The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, yes whatever, just get on with it." So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper". So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement, she began to moan and groan aloud, "Oh doctor, doctor!" she shouted. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself He then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises The husband, at this point, suddenly became very annoyed and still concentrating, replied: "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the b@stard!!"
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   Old Thread  #1205 26 Feb 2013 at 5.20pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
After a date with a homeless girl, I took her back to mine and said "would you like to spend the night here?"

"I would love to" she said.

"Great," I replied, "well just make yourself feel at home."

She gave me a look of disgust and slept in the garden.
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   Old Thread  #1204 26 Feb 2013 at 2.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1203 26 Feb 2013 at 1.18pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
a boy walked in on his mam and dad having sex, his dad said were making you a brother/sister,the boy replies,do her doggy style id rather have a puppy
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   Old Thread  #1202 26 Feb 2013 at 9.38am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was sitting down on the floor having a dump the other day as usual. When someone walked in and told me what a toilet is for I almost fell off my stool.
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   Old Thread  #1201 26 Feb 2013 at 9.25am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
*For Sale*

30 pairs of Katie Price's knickers.

All still in original packaging.
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   Old Thread  #1200 26 Feb 2013 at 9.24am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
What's got one leg and ruins other people's lives?

Oscar Pistorius and Heather Mills.
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   Old Thread  #1199 25 Feb 2013 at 7.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1198 25 Feb 2013 at 2.44pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I read a while back that the plastic used to make ping-pong balls is highly toxic, so I've been painting them brown and feeding them to my wife, disguised as meatballs in order to kill her.

I hope it works.

If not, I'll have a hell of a time trying to drown the bitch.
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   Old Thread  #1197 25 Feb 2013 at 1.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
"I fcuked the wife up the arse last night, pulled out, then she took my load straight in her mouth, beat that!" said Dave.

"Well I only shagged my missus once in a Blue Moon!" I replied.

"And what so impressive about that?" he snorted.

"We never were allowed in that pub again."
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   Old Thread  #1196 25 Feb 2013 at 1.30pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Please give to comic relief.just 5 can help teach an African how to tell the difference between an intruder and their f--king girlfriend.
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   Old Thread  #1195 25 Feb 2013 at 1.27pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
An old Italian guy goes into the confession box "father,during the war i rescued a beautiful Jewish girl from the Nazis and hide her in my attic.
To show her gratitude she used to shag me every night and give me 2 blow jobs on a Sunday."
"My son"said the priest,"it was a very difficult time in our lives and you shouldn't feel so guilty"
"I know"said the old guy,"but should l tell her the war is over".
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   Old Thread  #1194 25 Feb 2013 at 1.13pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1193 25 Feb 2013 at 9.40am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1192 25 Feb 2013 at 7.28am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Jordan is undecided on how to give birth to her latest baby.

My bets on the baby bungee jumping.
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