CarpForum - Fishing Forum
  Already registered? [Log-In]  New user? [Register]

Want 11,000+ anglers a day to see your product or service?  Click HERE to see how
Home Who's Online Member List Gallery Downloads Fish Ins Weather
Rules / Usage Help / FAQs Search Articles The Carp Shop
  New Posts: 0
   Joke Thread
 [Log-In]  [Register] 
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22684
   Old Thread  #1372 19 Mar 2013 at 9.42am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife said, "Where've you put my anal beads?"

At first I wouldn't tell her the truth, but in the end, she dragged it out of me.
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22684
   Old Thread  #1371 18 Mar 2013 at 8.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Is 'Pussylips' one word, or should I spread them apart?
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22684
   Old Thread  #1370 18 Mar 2013 at 8.44pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
You may like my collection of natural salt water and jizz.

Cum and sea.
Mr-Bean-Laden is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of Mr-Bean-Laden (Andrew)
Contact details supplied to MODs
Mr-Bean-Laden
Posts: 2095
   Old Thread  #1369 18 Mar 2013 at 8.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman.

"I want you to go!" she screamed.

I said, "Please can we just talk about it first?"

"Go on, I'm listening." she replied.

I sat down and said, "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life."
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #1368 18 Mar 2013 at 5.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1362
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22684
   Old Thread  #1367 18 Mar 2013 at 4.06pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1365
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22684
   Old Thread  #1366 18 Mar 2013 at 2.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I hear Blue Peter are looking for a Transsexual presenter.

Here's one I made girlier
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #1365 18 Mar 2013 at 2.40pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, “Open the safe.”

She says, “This isn’t a real bank; it’s a sperm bank.”

He says, “Open the safe or I’ll shoot.”

She opens the safe, and he says, “Now take one of the bottles and drink it.”

After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband.

He says, “Now you see? It’s not so difficult, is it?
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22684
   Old Thread  #1364 18 Mar 2013 at 11.18am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Seagulls really are the Chavs of the sky.

They skwawk at you aggressively while you're minding your own business, mess up your car when you leave it parked, breed recklessly and scavenge wherever they go, and still you can get into a lot of trouble if you shoot them.
WaftyCranker is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of WaftyCranker (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3446
   Old Thread  #1363 17 Mar 2013 at 8.44pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1362
Haha
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22684
   Old Thread  #1362 17 Mar 2013 at 8.34pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Sexually confused? I should say so. I don't know if I'm gay, straight or bi.

The only thing that turns me on is the thought of bumming a lesbian.
SlugHunter is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of SlugHunter (Martin)
Contact details supplied to MODs
SlugHunter
Posts: 22684
   Old Thread  #1361 17 Mar 2013 at 10.07am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife said she wanted to have sex on the golf course where I spend most of my Saturdays.

We arrived at the first green at about 2am, where after doing a sexy striptease, she lay naked on the grass and said, " Any hole's a goal."

" Oh my God! " I shouted. " Do you know anything about golf ?"
sik is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of sik (Simon)
Contact details supplied to MODs
sik
Posts: 2391
   Old Thread  #1360 16 Mar 2013 at 9.32pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1352
class
catfish1 is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of catfish1 (Paul)
Contact details supplied to MODs
catfish1
Posts: 1629
   Old Thread  #1359 16 Mar 2013 at 8.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1358
WaftyCranker is not surfing CarpForum at the moment
View the profile of WaftyCranker (Ian)
Contact details supplied to MODs
WaftyCranker
Posts: 3446
   Old Thread  #1358 16 Mar 2013 at 8.43pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
After much pressure from my mum, I finally agreed to take my alzheimers riddled grandad out to the pub for the afternoon.

I couldn't believe what a good time I had, and wish we'd done it sooner.

It was always his round.
Page: 89 of 180  
  
  © Copyright 2002-2021  -  www.CarpForum.co.uk contact : webmaster@carpforum.co.uk