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 #1372 19 Mar 2013 at 9.42am | |   |
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My wife said, "Where've you put my anal beads?"
At first I wouldn't tell her the truth, but in the end, she dragged it out of me.
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#1371 18 Mar 2013 at 8.46pm | | |
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Is 'Pussylips' one word, or should I spread them apart?
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#1370 18 Mar 2013 at 8.44pm | | |
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You may like my collection of natural salt water and jizz.
Cum and sea.
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#1369 18 Mar 2013 at 8.39pm | | |
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My wife packed my bags today after finding out that I had a one night stand with another woman.
"I want you to go!" she screamed.
I said, "Please can we just talk about it first?"
"Go on, I'm listening." she replied.
I sat down and said, "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life."
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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#1368 18 Mar 2013 at 5.28pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1362
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#1367 18 Mar 2013 at 4.06pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1365
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#1366 18 Mar 2013 at 2.51pm | | |
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I hear Blue Peter are looking for a Transsexual presenter.
Here's one I made girlier
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#1365 18 Mar 2013 at 2.40pm | | |
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A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, “Open the safe.”
She says, “This isn’t a real bank; it’s a sperm bank.”
He says, “Open the safe or I’ll shoot.”
She opens the safe, and he says, “Now take one of the bottles and drink it.”
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband.
He says, “Now you see? It’s not so difficult, is it?
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#1364 18 Mar 2013 at 11.18am | | |
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Seagulls really are the Chavs of the sky.
They skwawk at you aggressively while you're minding your own business, mess up your car when you leave it parked, breed recklessly and scavenge wherever they go, and still you can get into a lot of trouble if you shoot them.
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#1363 17 Mar 2013 at 8.44pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1362
Haha 
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#1362 17 Mar 2013 at 8.34pm | | |
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Sexually confused? I should say so. I don't know if I'm gay, straight or bi.
The only thing that turns me on is the thought of bumming a lesbian.
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#1361 17 Mar 2013 at 10.07am | | |
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My wife said she wanted to have sex on the golf course where I spend most of my Saturdays.
We arrived at the first green at about 2am, where after doing a sexy striptease, she lay naked on the grass and said, " Any hole's a goal."
" Oh my God! " I shouted. " Do you know anything about golf ?"
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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#1360 16 Mar 2013 at 9.32pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1352
class
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#1359 16 Mar 2013 at 8.46pm | | |
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In reply to Post #1358
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#1358 16 Mar 2013 at 8.43pm | | |
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After much pressure from my mum, I finally agreed to take my alzheimers riddled grandad out to the pub for the afternoon.
I couldn't believe what a good time I had, and wish we'd done it sooner.
It was always his round.
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