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   Old Thread  #1338 14 Mar 2013 at 10.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1337
A knob has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an *******, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Son: Dad, what does 'gay' mean?
Dad: the dictionary says It means 'to be happy'.
Son: Are you gay?
Father: No, son. I have a wife.

little Tommy comes home from school and is sitting eating his tea.
"mum what are bitches and pussy?"
his mothers annoyed but thinks for a second and then points to the dog "thats a bitch, its a female dog" she then points at the cat "and thats a pussy"
little tommy finishes his tea and goes to find his dad. "Dad what are bitches and pussy?" his dad thinks for a second, looks in a drawer and takes out a porn mag and draws a circle around a womans crotch.
"whats this dad?"
"thats your answer son, everything inside the circle is the pussy and everything outside the circle is the bitch"
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   Old Thread  #1337 14 Mar 2013 at 9.57pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1327
quality
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   Old Thread  #1336 14 Mar 2013 at 8.24pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1335 14 Mar 2013 at 8.21pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1334 14 Mar 2013 at 8.03pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1333
WOMAN'S DIARY
5 March 2013 Tuesday

Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely.

I'd been shopping in the afternoon with the girls
and was a bit late meeting him, thought it might be that.

The bar was really crowded and loud,
so I suggested we go somewhere quieter to talk.

He was still very subdued and distracted
so I suggested we went somewhere nice to eat.

All through dinner he just didn't seem himself
- he hardly laughed and didn't seem to be
paying any attention to me or to what I was saying,
I just knew that something was wrong.

He dropped me back home and I wondered
if he was going to come in,
He hesitated but followed.

I asked him what was wrong,
but he just half shook his head and turned the television on.

After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed,
I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply,
He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.

He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and,
to my surprise, we made love
- but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.

I cried myself to sleep -
I think he's planning to leave me -
maybe he's found someone else.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -



MAN'S DIARY:

Tuesday 5 March

Man U lost.

Gutted.

Got a shag though
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   Old Thread  #1333 14 Mar 2013 at 7.45pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
In reply to Post #1327

Get in lad
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   Old Thread  #1332 14 Mar 2013 at 6.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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My computer beat me at chess. But itís no match for me at kick-boxing.
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   Old Thread  #1331 14 Mar 2013 at 5.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1330 14 Mar 2013 at 5.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1329 14 Mar 2013 at 4.46pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1328 14 Mar 2013 at 4.08pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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love it
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   Old Thread  #1327 14 Mar 2013 at 2.25pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Last night I was talking to a young, good looking woman. She asked me if I like breasts or legs. I told her what I really liked, was a nice shaved snatch.

Apparently I'm not welcome in KFC anymore.
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   Old Thread  #1326 14 Mar 2013 at 2.25pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1325 14 Mar 2013 at 1.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1324 14 Mar 2013 at 1.17pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A welsh farmer was f--king his prize ewe when his sheepdog came over and started licking his ---hole.
Although it helped him come quicker,he couldn't help but think-dogs are dirty b.....ds!.
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