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   Old Thread  #1490 3 Apr 2013 at 10.19pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Pain is the part of the tattoo process that makes you appreciate them more. I love mine, even though it tore off some ball hair when I peeled off the paper.
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   Old Thread  #1489 3 Apr 2013 at 9.08pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1488 3 Apr 2013 at 8.31pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Should be an easy game for Chelsea on Sunday.

DiCanio is fielding a team entirely of right wingers.
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   Old Thread  #1487 3 Apr 2013 at 7.10pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1486 3 Apr 2013 at 5.30pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1485 3 Apr 2013 at 5.29pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Essex girl in car crash says "i think i have concussion" paramedic asks "how many fingers have i got up?" the girl replies "oh god, my f@nny's paralysed too!
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   Old Thread  #1484 3 Apr 2013 at 2.38pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The new guy in prison is approached by a huge bodybuilder type in the shower on his first night.

He says to him, "as you're new here, you get the choice". "Do you want sex with, or without spit?"

The guy is thinking, with spit won't hurt as much, so he says, "w- w -with spit".

The big guy shouts over, "Hey Spit, the new guy wants a threesome."
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   Old Thread  #1483 3 Apr 2013 at 8.07am  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
My wife hates it when I say,"You're just like your mother!"

Actually,she hates it when I say anything during sex.
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   Old Thread  #1482 3 Apr 2013 at 8.05am  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Don't worry about the rising tensions in North Korea,we've sent the B52's over.

They'll soon surrender once they've had to listen to Love Shack a few times
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   Old Thread  #1481 2 Apr 2013 at 7.01pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Glory holes in public toilets give me the willies.
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   Old Thread  #1480 2 Apr 2013 at 4.34pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
WARNING ABOUT EBAY

Be careful what you buy on ebay - if you buy stuff on line, check out the seller carefully.

A friend has just spent 95, plus tax and shipping, on a penis enlarger.

They sent him a magnifying glass.

The only instructions said, "Do not use in sunlight."
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   Old Thread  #1479 2 Apr 2013 at 4.30pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1478 2 Apr 2013 at 1.52pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
A bloke runs into a pub, grinning and says to the landlord, "The beers are on me - my wife just ran off with my best friend!"
The landlord smiled and said, "Well, that's a shame. Why aren't you sad?"
"Sad?" the bloke replies, "They've saved me a fortune. They were both pregnant!"

Q. What's the difference between a poodle humping your leg and a pitbull humping your leg?
A. The Pitbull gets to finish
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   Old Thread  #1477 2 Apr 2013 at 8.22am  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1476 1 Apr 2013 at 9.54pm  Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
One day little Johnny was at the farm with his uncle..
Little Johnny asked his uncle, 'hey uncle, whats the difference between potentially and realistically?'
Little johnnys uncle then said, 'go in and ask your auntie Mavis if she'll have sex with the mail man for a million bucks'
Little Johnny went and asked his auntie the same question..
His auntie Mavis then said, 'well with the way things are going at the moment i would!'
Little Johnny went back and told his uncle what she had said....
His uncle then turned around and said, 'okay then, go and ask your in uncle sherell if she'll do the same thing'
Little Johnny went and asked his cousin sherell if she'd have sex with the mail man for a million bucks!'
His cousin sherell said, 'well durr, what kind of a question is that!'
Little Johnny went and told his uncle what she had said..
His uncle then turns around and says, 'well, there ya go, potentially we're sitting on 2 million bucks! But realistically im just living with a couple of whores
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