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   Old Thread  #1457 30 Mar 2013 at 6.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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carol vorderman recently fell down the stairs i believe-word has it she hit 2 from the top and 3 from the bottom
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   Old Thread  #1456 30 Mar 2013 at 1.59pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I was at the swimming baths yesterday and had a sneaky piss in the deep end. The life guard noticed and blew his whistle so ****ing loud I nearly fell in...
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   Old Thread  #1455 28 Mar 2013 at 7.42pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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more like a couple of bucks
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   Old Thread  #1454 28 Mar 2013 at 5.37pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Need some advice, just been offered 8 legs of venison for 20...is that two deer?
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   Old Thread  #1453 28 Mar 2013 at 7.38am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1452 28 Mar 2013 at 7.25am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1451 27 Mar 2013 at 8.22pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex. I woke this morning with a huge correction.


The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers ....... so I did.... She's 21 and her name's Lucy

My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Swan Vesta's, his little face lit up when he tried to walk. Unfortunately, I forgot to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.


I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, ungrateful bleeders. All I said was, 'hurry up for goodness sake, some of us have got homes to go to!'


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   Old Thread  #1450 27 Mar 2013 at 8.00pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1449 27 Mar 2013 at 8.00pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1448 27 Mar 2013 at 7.58pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1447 27 Mar 2013 at 7.54pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1446 27 Mar 2013 at 7.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
So in the space of a few days, we've gone from Rio not wanting to play in the England team, to the England team not wanting to play in Rio...
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   Old Thread  #1445 27 Mar 2013 at 7.50pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Gary Neville's father has being arrested on suspicion of indecent assault.

Van Persie could have been killed,' said a furious Alex Ferguson.
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   Old Thread  #1444 27 Mar 2013 at 7.50pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I got fired on my first day as a Masseuse today.Apparently "Finishing off on my face" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
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   Old Thread  #1443 27 Mar 2013 at 7.47pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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