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   Old Thread  #1572 17 Apr 2013 at 6.42pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The wife wanted sex so I lay on the bed, waiting.
Eventually she entered the bedroom,naked.
"Hi darling!" she said "I thought tonight we'd try something different."
"Different, how?" I asked.
"I'm thinking @nal" she said
"An@l!? That's disgusting and.... unhygienic!" I cried.
"Don't worry, I've washed thoroughly. I think it will be a pleasurable experience."
"Pleasurable for you maybe. But then it's always all about you isn't it? It's always sucking your n1pples then licking you to orgasm while you scream and moan."
"Well, tonight it will be @nal, then nipples, then cl1toris. Or we can get your mate, Dave, over again. He did anything I asked. He's an animal! And you like to watch, remember?"
"I thought I'd like to watch" I said "But turns out I don't. So, ok then"
"Good boy." she said as she lowered her backside to my face.
That'll teach me to drink and drive, I thought, as I readied my tongue. I fcuking hate being paralysed from the neck down
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   Old Thread  #1571 17 Apr 2013 at 6.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1570 17 Apr 2013 at 6.31pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1569 17 Apr 2013 at 4.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
The police asked me to identify what they thought was my girlfriends body.They pulled the sheet back to show her face."l can't be certain."l told him.The sheet went back a bit further to reveal her breasts and hard nipples "Sorry,but im still not sure."Then they took the sheet completely off and i had a good look at the body and shaved *****,"That's definitely not her,Officer""Are you sure?""Yep.My girlfriends not black.
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   Old Thread  #1568 17 Apr 2013 at 2.51pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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A top British scientist has invented a bra that stops tits bouncing up and down and prevents nipples from sticking out in cold weather,his colleagues have kicked his +++++++ head in!
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   Old Thread  #1567 17 Apr 2013 at 2.48pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Women wake up yawning and men with an erection.

Coincidence?

I think not.
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   Old Thread  #1566 17 Apr 2013 at 2.44pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1565 17 Apr 2013 at 2.42pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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#1556
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   Old Thread  #1564 17 Apr 2013 at 2.37pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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A woman is standing at the edge of a cliff trying to get the nerve to jump off. A passing tramp stops and says, "Since you're about to kill yourself, if you don't mind, could we have sex please?" The woman says, "No, f**k off." The tramp turns to leave and replies, "Fine, I'll just go and wait at the bottom."
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   Old Thread  #1563 17 Apr 2013 at 12.25pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1562 17 Apr 2013 at 12.20pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1561 17 Apr 2013 at 12.16pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I've just been watching Margaret Thatcher's funeral and I've gone through an entire box of tissues.

Her granddaughter is something else.
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   Old Thread  #1560 17 Apr 2013 at 9.31am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Stuart Hall is to commentate on his new TV show.

'It's a cock out' hits the screens this Autumn.
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   Old Thread  #1559 17 Apr 2013 at 2.40am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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[From the old thread] Our sex life was waning, so I said to the wife we should try a little role-playing to spice things up a bit. I said, "Would you like to play a rape game?" She said "No way!" I said, "That's the spirit!"
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   Old Thread  #1558 16 Apr 2013 at 9.39pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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