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   Old Thread  #1606 27 Apr 2013 at 9.26pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1605 27 Apr 2013 at 7.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Liverpool appealing to the FA to see if they can get Suarez's ban extended.
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   Old Thread  #1604 27 Apr 2013 at 11.20am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
I came home from work early and found my wife in the bedroom laying on the bed stark naked with a labrador licking chocolate spread from her pussy.

I said, "What the hell is going on?"

She said, "I was feeling horny and I couldn't wait for you to get home."

I said, "But who is that sitting in the lounge downstairs with dark glasses and a white stick?"
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   Old Thread  #1603 26 Apr 2013 at 7.19pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1602 26 Apr 2013 at 6.41pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Three women were discussing the relationship between their husbands' behaviours and the naming of their children.

The first woman said, "My husband likes plenty of alcohol, so we named our child Brandy."

The second one said, "My husband likes sweets, so we named our kid Candy."

The third woman being ashamed of her husband's behaviour rose up and shouted at her son - "DICK,LET'S GO HOME"
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   Old Thread  #1601 26 Apr 2013 at 1.18pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
just seen My ex girlfriend in the supermarket."Sarah Green,"I said,"How are you?" "i'm okay," she replied.
"What's that you're buying?" i asked, "pile cream??you have big fat piles?"She looked around,then looked back at me and said, "Dave,could you be any louder?" "i'm afraid not," i replied, "This is the loudest the tannoy can go".
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   Old Thread  #1600 24 Apr 2013 at 7.01pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1599 24 Apr 2013 at 4.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1598 24 Apr 2013 at 4.09pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1597 24 Apr 2013 at 4.06pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
On Wednesday afternoon, a fourth-grade teacher announces to her class, "Children, I'm going to ask you a question, and if anyone can answer it correctly, they can take tomorrow off from school." Of course, this gets the immediate and undivided attention of all the students. They lean forward in their chairs and listen intently.

"All right," says the teacher, "here is the question: How many grains of sand are there on the beach at the Oak Street beach?" Needless to say, none of the children knows the answer.

The following day, the teacher says, "If you can answer today's question correctly, you may take tomorrow off from school. The question is: How many drops of water are there in the Lake Michigan?"

The children sit in silence, frustrated by the second impossibly difficult question. Dirty Johnny, sitting in the back of the class, is particularly annoyed. "I'm gonna fix her,' he thinks. That night, he goes home and paints two golf balls black.

Friday, the teacher says, "Okay, here is today's question..." But before she can get it out, Dirty Johnny rolls the two painted golf balls to the front of the room. With a loud clatter, the golf balls hit the wall right below the blackboard.

Startled, the teacher looks around the room and says, "All right, who's the comedian with the black balls?"

"Eddie Murphy," Johnny replies. "I'll see ya Tuesday
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   Old Thread  #1596 24 Apr 2013 at 3.49pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
"I can't believe the dog was licking your dick" said Dave's missus.

"Well its not like I didn't discipline him, I gave him a smack on the nose and told him off!" Dave replied.

"I know, I just thought it might have been more effective had you done it before you came!!"
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   Old Thread  #1595 23 Apr 2013 at 12.02pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
Your mum's vagina and a horse have two things in common...

They're fun to ride and everyone at tesco has had a taste....
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   Old Thread  #1594 23 Apr 2013 at 11.41am Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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   Old Thread  #1593 22 Apr 2013 at 11.05pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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You've missed a trick with the brown sauce.
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   Old Thread  #1592 22 Apr 2013 at 8.28pm Login so you can post / reply  Register so you can join in!
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i was sitting on the edge of the bed last night pulling of my boxers when the wife commented "you spoil those dogs"..
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