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In reply to Post #1901
Who says the Scotts are Tight?
A Scottish Soldier, in full dress uniform,
marches into a pharmacy.
Very carefully he opens his sporran
and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, then
unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square handkerchief,
which he also unfolds -
to reveal a condom.
The condom has a number of patches on it.
The chemist holds it up and eyes it critically.
"How much to repair it?' The Scot asks the chemist.
"Six pence" says the chemist.
"How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence" says the chemist.
The Scot painstakingly folds the condom into the
silk square handkerchief
and the cotton bandana, replaces it carefully in his sporran,
and marches out of the door,
shoulders back and kilt swinging.
A moment or two later the chemist hears a great shout go up outside,
followed by an even greater shout.
The Scottish soldier marches back into the chemists
and addresses the proprietor, this time with a grin on his face.
"The regiment has taken a vote," he says.
“We'll have a new one
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 |  | |
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Me and my girlfriend were sitting relaxed, having a chat when I accidently sh1t myself.
I'd hoped she wouldn't notice, but then it floated to the top of the bath
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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I saw my first Ethiopian DJ last night.
MT Stomach
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In reply to Post #1893
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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In reply to Post #1896
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Well done the British bloke who won Wimbledon this year.
so much better than that scotch ****who lost last year.
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investigators are interviewing the Korean pilot following Sats plane crash.Lan Ding Gon Wong says his velly solly.
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In reply to Post #1890
 
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Serena Williams has decided to shave her hair for charity.
From her chest to her bollox, no doubt.
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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My wife walked in on an argument between our son and I. When he ran out of the room crying, I turned to the wife and said, "I wish I'd used a condom now."
Horrified, she said, "What? You wish our son had never been born?"
"No," I replied. "I've got his girlfriend pregnant."
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In reply to Post #1886
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In reply to Post #1889
west midlands police are looking for 2 racist attackers-i have one application form who wants the other????
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In reply to Post #1884
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| | | sik | | Posts: 2391 | | |
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One day this thirty year old virgin stats getting these extremely painful sensations around her vagina. She goes in to her gynecologist and he ask her about her sex life. She replies I'm a virgin so there is no sex. He ask about her public bathroom usage habits. I work from home and I always use the bathroom before I go shopping. So there is no public bathroom usage. After a few more questions he gives her an examine and comes back saying " ma'am, I don't know what's wrong but you definitely don't have crabs". She says that she wants a second opinion and sees another gynecologist. He ask all the same questions and she gives all the same answers. He gives her an examination and comes back with the same results as the first dr. So she decides to get a third opinion. She sees a third doctor, gets asked all the same questions, gives all the same answers and receives yet another examine. The dr comes in and says I have some good and some bad news. The good news is you don't have crabs. The bad news is that your cherry's so ripe you have fruit flies
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